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  • 12-08-2009 9:32am
    #1
    Rufus.T.Firefly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭


    My mate has just moved in with his girlfriend and her massive magazine collection.

    When she refused to part with them he left her, she had too many issues.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What's the difference between nursing homes and prisons?

    People visit prisons.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    After years of resentment between me and my mother-in-law, I’ve finally developed an attachment for her.

    It fits over her mouth and stops her breathing.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Northside Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

    The man says "Choose from our range on the wall.

    “She says "I'll take the red one."

    The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Northside girl walks into the local dry cleaners.

    She places a garment on the counter.

    "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says.

    "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.

    "No" she replies.” This time it's mayonnaise."


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