I need a strategy

Handsome Bob

So yeah, I'm thinking about giving alcohol a hit on the head for the forseeable future. The problem is that I've tried this on more than one occasion and I've always been met with hostility. People seem to take it as some kind of an insult if you're not drinking, they don't like the idea of someone staying sober in the group.

I'm wondering whether other people have come across this? If so, what do you say in order to smooth the situation over? Also what do you drink instead of alcohol?

I'm not a big drinker BTW, it's just something I want to cut out of my diet for a while.

Porkpie

If you say you had a serious drink problem (whether you did or not) they'll leave you alone. Guarantee you most people will feel too awkward to ask you to elaborte. Regarding an alternative, I find ginger ale goes down well. A bit expensive though, plus you only get tiny servings in the pub. When I wasn't drinking sometimes I'd ask for a bottle of lucozade poured in to a pint glass with loads of ice. You have a pint glass in your hand, it lasts a good while and it's alcohol free!

Frogdog

It's a bit extreme to lie and say you're an alcoholic, especially if you're in your 20s etc (I know it can happen, but it's rare) and your friends already know you're not.

I've been off alcohol since the start of Lent this year and I did it mainly just to improve my diet/training/bodyfat loss etc. Saving a bit of money as a result.

I also receive hostility from friends for not drinking, and they don't even realise it. But I'm not the type of person to let them sway me, rather I sway them. If they get hostile to me, I get more hostile to them and they back down. I get the usual things like "you're no craic without drink", "you can surely have one, it won't affect your training" etc. I have responses for all of them at this stage! I tell them I'm still more craic without drink then they are with it and that there's no point in having one, like what's one drink going to do? Turn me into a legend in their eyes?! Why would I want to have one - to impress them? I tell them to grow up and stop acting like a 16 year old. Like the sheep that they are they cower away from me when I get worked up.

So my advice to you is to not feel threatened by them, or if you do, become increasingly hostile towards them until they back down and you make them look like a fool. They'll soon realise not to put peer pressure on you again.

As for what I drink, normally a still mineral water. For your health etc. there's no point going out and replacing 8 pints of beer with 8 pints of Lucozade - you'l only have a worse hangover! You can replace Lucozade for any mineral/juice. They're all full of sugar which is a disaster if you're on a health buzz.

Handsome Bob

Porkpie wrote: »

If you say you had a serious drink problem (whether you did or not) they'll leave you alone. Guarantee you most people will feel too awkward to ask you to elaborte. Regarding an alternative, I find ginger ale goes down well. A bit expensive though, plus you only get tiny servings in the pub. When I wasn't drinking sometimes I'd ask for a bottle of lucozade poured in to a pint glass with loads of ice. You have a pint glass in your hand, it lasts a good while and it's alcohol free!

Hmmmm I would feel uncomfortable saying I have a drink problem but I could say that my brother has a drink problem and it has put me off alcohol (which is kind of true).

Thanks for the ginger ale suggestion.

Frogdog wrote: »

It's a bit extreme to lie and say you're an alcoholic, especially if you're in your 20s etc (I know it can happen, but it's rare) and your friends already know you're not.

I've been off alcohol since the start of Lent this year and I did it mainly just to improve my diet/training/bodyfat loss etc. Saving a bit of money as a result.

I also receive hostility from friends for not drinking, and they don't even realise it. But I'm not the type of person to let them sway me, rather I sway them. If they get hostile to me, I get more hostile to them and they back down. I get the usual things like "you're no craic without drink", "you can surely have one, it won't affect your training" etc. I have responses for all of them at this stage! I tell them I'm still more craic without drink then they are with it and that there's no point in having one, like what's one drink going to do? Turn me into a legend in their eyes?! Why would I want to have one - to impress them? I tell them to grow up and stop acting like a 16 year old. Like the sheep that they are they cower away from me when I get worked up.

So my advice to you is to not feel threatened by them, or if you do, become increasingly hostile towards them until they back down and you make them look like a fool. They'll soon realise not to put peer pressure on you again.

As for what I drink, normally a still mineral water. For your health etc. there's no point going out and replacing 8 pints of beer with 8 pints of Lucozade - you'l only have a worse hangover! You can replace Lucozade for any mineral/juice. They're all full of sugar which is a disaster if you're on a health buzz.

Yeah it's ridiculous. I remember one night I was doing well staying off the drink and one of my mates aggresively shoved a pint bottle of cider into my hand and grunted "it's the ****ing weekend, get that into you."

I think if I'm honest and just say that I'm trying to cut alcohol out of my diet then they might be okay. I don't want to freak out at them as I'm trying to do this without alienating myself from them.

cathysworld

Just have some balls and refuse drink, I also gave it up, met with opposition from my friends but stood my ground! I think for some people they realise that u will see what an a-hole they become with drink, you'll be the one laughing the next day knowing youve had a good night out and no hangover! Or else u cud just drive if thats an option, people love a free lift home!

Handsome Bob

cathysworld wrote: »

Just have some balls and refuse drink, I also gave it up, met with opposition from my friends but stood my ground! I think for some people they realise that u will see what an a-hole they become with drink, you'll be the one laughing the next day knowing youve had a good night out and no hangover! Or else u cud just drive if thats an option, people love a free lift home!

You see this is how I'm going to alienate myself from friends. :P But I hear you, I do need to man up and just be firm with them.

cathysworld

U obviously dont say things like that to their faces you laugh on the inside!
I dont get this anyway, what is the problem with people not drinking. If I went out and someone wasnt drinking I wudn give a toss One of my friends doesnt drink cos her father was an alcoholic and its fine with everyone but when I say Im not drinking its likew WHA?!?!

RealEstateKing

that you're sick of hangovers, and that you find it easier to not drink at all than to limit yourself to just 2 or 3 (true for me).

Obviously for a lot of Irish people, giving up drink threatens their belief system, and the more immature among them will attempt to get you back on their side. They may do this by 'accidentally' buying you alcoholic drinks, or by hinting that 'you're no fun any more'.

They only do this because like many Irish people they are somewhere on the spectrum of being dependent on drink - probably just at the point where they suspect there is more to life than getting ****ed up every weekend, but they're frightened to discover what this might be. At this point, they need to keep telling themselves that drink is the apotheisis of fun, youth, vitality, sex and good times generally. So if you 'leave the fold' as it were, they feel the need to bring you safely back in.

Just stand your ground and eventually most of them will come to respect you for it, especially once they see that giving up doesnt make you less fun at all and that you're actually getting more out of life than they are: They'll raise a glass to you and say 'Jaysus, fair play, couldnt do it meself, but good on ya..."

tfak85

if you know that you are just as much fun without drink as you are with it then you may not need a strategy at all, just tell them you are having a great ****ing time without it and they need to stop worrying about you...

i gave up drink five and a half years ago, when i was 18, was never a big drinker and i don't need it as social lubricant.some people got really angry with me but people find it interesting now more than anything.

i find that if you are drinking non-alcoholic drinks it is ironically best to mix your drinks or you will end up with some sort of headache the next day, i find it good also to keep highly sugary or caffeinated drinks for the start of the night, you, unlike your drunken mates will not pass out at the end of the night if you are full of sugar!!!

best of luck, hopefully your mates are mature enough to accept the change!

unreggd

LZ5by5 wrote: »

People seem to take it as some kind of an insult if you're not drinking, they don't like the idea of someone staying sober in the group

I think that's it! Maybe drinkers are paranoid that non-drinkers will remember just how crazy they were, when in fact they're generally not crazy at all

I got lectured SO many times about not drinkin, its unreal! But you need to just say it bluntly "I dont drink, its my business, mind your own"
Put the aul foot down

And it's only in Ireland. If you need someone else to be drinkin to enjoy yourself, then you're the one with the problem!

Unfortunately the menu for non-drinkers is a sham! and a bleedin rip-off! The pub bottles are smaller than cans and 3 times the price, and they dont pay tax on soft drinks

Local pubs are better though, where ye can get a pint of anything cheap enough

I usually alternate between 7up/lucozade, then a pint of Mi Wadi, they usually always have Blackcurrant, Orange & Lime, and only costs about a euro, first ones usually free!

And the water keeps ye feelin ok, esp the next mornin

So yeah, you also need to just learn how to put up with it, cos as long as you're socialisin in Ireland, its always gonna be there

AARRRGH

I have had to stop going to the pub with my friends. It simply bothers them too much. It seems it makes them feel guilty, that they're somehow doing something wrong, or living their life in the wrong way.

So instead I just do restaurants/dinner parties now.

Handsome Bob

Thanks for the replies people.

My brother got married yesterday and people were mortified to find me not drinking. I unfortunately caved under pressure but I'm definitely going to give the dinking a knock on the head, I'm sick of these bloody hangovers.