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  • 11-08-2009 4:07pm
    #1
    Rufus.T.Firefly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭


    A Scottish Solder in full dress uniform marches into a chemist.

    Very carefully he opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana,
    unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom.

    The condom has a number of patches on it.

    The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.

    “How much to repair it?” the Scot asks the chemist.

    “Six pence,” says the chemist.

    “How much for a new one?”

    “Ten pence,” says the chemist.

    The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the silk square handkerchief and the cotton bandana,
    replaces it carefully in his sporran and marches out of the door, shoulders back and kilt swinging.

    A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside, followed by an even greater shout.

    The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.

    “The regiment has taken a vote,” he says.




    “We’ll hae a new one.”

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    As a young lad, Bob was caught reading a girlie magazine by his mother.

    He explains that he is interested in girls and wanted to know more about their private parts.

    His mother, quite shocked by this, warns him to stay away from girl’s private parts, as they have nasty sharp teeth in them.

    This seems to do the trick throughout his youth, but unfortunately he still believes this even into his adulthood.

    Anyway, one day (somehow) he gets married and even on his wedding night, he won't go near his wife.

    She asks him why....

    "Because I know about the teeth you have down there", he replies.

    "Heh!", says his wife,

    "I don't have any teeth down there,

    Where you get that idea from?"

    "You can't kid me", says Bob,

    "My mum told me about them."

    So, in desperation, his wife takes her clothes off and lies on the bed with her legs wide open for him to have a good look.

    "LOOK!", she says, "NO TEETH!"

    "I'm not surprised", replies Bob,




    "Not with gums like that!”


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