Got her number, not really interested though.. what to do?

LegacyUser

Right, so I met and hooked up with a girl Saturday night. Got her number the next day but I'm not really that interested in meeting her again.

What do I do?

Delete number and forget about it....
Call, meet up and say I'm not that interested.....
Or send a facebook message.....

Why'd I take her number? Well, it seemed like the thing to do.

I will see her again at some stage due to her living in the same town.

snowy2008

ahhnoooo wrote: »

Right, so I met and hooked up with a girl Saturday night. Got her number the next day but I'm not really that interested in meeting her again.

What do I do?

Delete number and forget about it....
Call, meet up and say I'm not that interested.....
Or send a facebook message.....

Why'd I take her number? Well, it seemed like the thing to do.

I will see her again at some stage due to her living in the same town.

theres your answer, what would point number 2 accomplish??!!

LegacyUser

Best thing to do is ring up and do not make a date. End with, "I enjoyed the other night, we must meet again sometime". If you meet her around you will still be on friendly enough terms.

Dublin141

I would be mortified if some dude I met in a pub rang me to say he didn't want to go out with me!! She hasn't asked you out so why on earth would you tell her anything of the sort?

Just leave it unless she contacts you. Then you might have a problem

Seriously, unless she expresses an interest in meeting up again then there is no problem. If she doesn't contact you then she has no reason to be angry at you if you meet her around.

LegacyUser

If you're not interested don't make it seem like you are just act how you normally do or how you are around her the worst thing you could probably do is to agree to a date or dig a bigger hole for yourself! just leave well enough alone

Pyr0

Just not text/call her ?

Problem solved.

LegacyUser

Well it seems as if you've taken her number so the onus is left to you to make contact if you want to take things further. If you're not interested, don't contact her, she will no doubt gather from this that your not keen to take it further. However, if she has your number and contacts you, firstly may i please ask for the sake of mankind, please have the decency and balls to reciprocate, if only to make her feel like she deserves the time for you to type a few words. I've been in both situations, one where i don't want to see someone again and the other where i was keen but the other person wasn't. Both can be awkward but with a little respect for the other person things usually turn out fine (disclaimer - provided both parties are sane lols...) All you need to say is you enjoyed her company and the night you spent together but you aren't in a place where you want to take things further, you're sorry if that hurts her but she deserves the truth! I've been on the receiving end of a disappearing man and even if it's just a date, it's not nice to be ignored! Just my 2 cents. What goes around and all that jazz!

LegacyUser

why would you take her number if you didn't want to see her again? Would it not just have being easier to walk away? leading people on is NOT nice. Have a bit a backbone the next time man.

puglover

ahhnoooo wrote: »

Right, so I met and hooked up with a girl Saturday night. Got her number the next day but I'm not really that interested in meeting her again.

What do I do?

Delete number and forget about it....
Call, meet up and say I'm not that interested.....
Or send a facebook message.....

Why'd I take her number? Well, it seemed like the thing to do.

I will see her again at some stage due to her living in the same town.

It's not really a big issue tbh. She mightn't be that interested in you either so don't worry.

LegacyUser

I wouldnt contact her. If she contacts you just say you got back with an ex or something as that lets her down gently

LegacyUser

Just dont contact her its pretty simple.

petethebrick

If you don't want to meet her again then don't contact her at all. She'll take it far worse if you contact her to tell her that you don't want to meet her again. For all you know maybe she doesn't want to meet you again either

Was in same spot as you yesterday morning - the awkward goodbye at the doorstep in the morning - it's all just a part of having one night stands^^

Moomoo1

I can't quite believe people saying 'don't contact', given the number of threads we get with people agonising over why the 'other side' didn't contact.

Just tell her that you liked her but don't feel like taking it further. That's all. Be a man and just say it how it is.

cowzerp

Moomoo1 wrote: »

Just tell her that you liked her but don't feel like taking it further. That's all. Be a man and just say it how it is.

Yeah good idea!
if you want to look like an arrogant muppet.


you messed up now leave it at that and dont dig the hole any deeper

Moomoo1

so he should leave her agonising over why he's not calling (like all those other girls with threads in Relationships)?

I'd rather look arrogant than wreck people's heads.

Lana80

Agree with Moomoo.
Not fair to take someone's number just for the sake of it.
Bad Karma.

Liam Byrne

ahhnoooo wrote: »

Why'd I take her number? Well, it seemed like the thing to do.

:rolleyes: It's the thing to do if you WANT to meet again, not if you don't.

Svalbard

Unregistered wrote: »

why would you take her number if you didn't want to see her again? Would it not just have being easier to walk away? leading people on is NOT nice. Have a bit a backbone the next time man.

What if she asks to exchange numbers?

"Er...no thanks" Very awkward.

I agree with you in theory, and you definitley should not ask for a number if you are not interested, but refusing to take one!!! I'd say 99% of people would not do that, even if it is the better thing to do in the long run.

Overheal

Is she of any interest at all? Platonically?

We've all been in the Why HAvent They Called situation. I think you owe her at least not to completely blow her off.

Greyfox

Moomoo1 wrote: »

I can't quite believe people saying 'don't contact', given the number of threads we get with people agonising over why the 'other side' didn't contact.

Just tell her that you liked her but don't feel like taking it further. That's all. Be a man and just say it how it is.

That's would be like telling a girl I kinda liked you but not enough to want to meet you again...an insult imo!

Sometimes men think they want to see a girl again but then when they've sobered but they change their mind, it happens to both girls and guys! And it's better to just not contact them rather them arkwardly telling them your not that into them a little down the line!

leggo

Why are people talking about 'owing' anyone anything? He's dealt with this girl for all of a few hours in total. I don't know about you guys...but I don't 'owe' anyone anything having only known them in that amount of time. Unless I've specifically said otherwise (for some reason).

If he's not leading her on by constantly texting first or expressing interest...then he's doing nothing wrong. And, as many have said, maybe she's not interested either. Girls will often text for a few days after a one-night hook-up...for the simple reason that they're either doing it to prove to themselves they weren't being sluts for having a one-night stand. (Btw, that doesn't equate to me saying that women who DO have one-nighter's are sluts...before that tin of worms opens) Or they're treading water to see if the bloke's any use. Either way, it's not a 100% guaranteed sign that she's gagging for you.

If she starts to show signs of interest, I'd just drop a hint somewhere into the interaction. Start talking about an ex or something who you were texting, then say "Yeah I'm so not up for being in a relationship at the mo my heads all over the place."

She'll get the message...but you're doing so in a way that allows her to keep her dignity.

If she pushes the issue any further, which she likely will at this stage if she REALLY wants to, then he's no reason to feel bad if he tells her out straight that it's not going to happen.

But an unnecessary rejection is just assumptive and harsh.

LegacyUser

Right - I shouldn't have taken her number but it seemed like the thing to do. She's a nice girl, we had fun but on reflection, I don't want to start anything with her.

Now, she doesn't have my number so the onus is on me.

The reason why I posted is cos I don't want to be one of those "he took my number and never called" guys I read about on the relationships thread.

not that I think she's sitting at home pining for me, just don't want to appear as a prick.

And in future, I won't take a number.

Oh The Humanity

ahhnoooo wrote: »

Right - I shouldn't have taken her number but it seemed like the thing to do. She's a nice girl, we had fun but on reflection, I don't want to start anything with her.

That is perfectly acceptable! Taking the number gives you the option. That is understood. Taking a number doesn't guarantee you are going to ring the other person. I would consider that taking someone's number is more of a just in case!

ahhnoooo wrote: »

Now, she doesn't have my number so the onus is on me.

Not at all. There is no onus, you don't want to see her again. Don't ring, simple as!

ahhnoooo wrote: »

The reason why I posted is cos I don't want to be one of those "he took my number and never called" guys I read about on the relationships thread.

Ah those people just need to toughen up and learn the age old rules of engagement. Someone taking your number means nothing. Those who read some sort of agreement or guarantee into it are the ones at fault.

ahhnoooo wrote: »

not that I think she's sitting at home pining for me, just don't want to appear as a prick.

Ah, so what if some girl somewhere thinks youre a prick for not calling her! See how far she gets with looking for sympathy on that one!

ahhnoooo wrote: »

And in future, I won't take a number.

Take one if you want. Sometimes you need a little bit of reflection to decide whether you want to see someone again. Thats perfectly acceptable.

You don't 'owe' people you snogged/slept with or whatever a second date! If you want to see them again call them, if not don't. Thats how it works.

Oh The Humanity

Moomoo1 wrote: »

so he should leave her agonising over why he's not calling (like all those other girls with threads in Relationships)

If she's 'agonising' about some dude she hooked up with for one night then that's her own problem. Doubt she is anyway, but she would be some drama queen if she was!

The fella she snogged or rode or whatever is not obliged to soothe her nerves if she is 'agonising' -he owes her nothing!

Also, maybe this is all moot anyway and she might not want to see him either!

Op, just dont call and leave it at that.

puglover

Moomoo1 wrote: »

so he should leave her agonising over why he's not calling (like all those other girls with threads in Relationships)?

I'd rather look arrogant than wreck people's heads.

I think thats the minority of people to be honest.

I think most people would be much more annoyed if some ons got in contact a few days later just to tell you he wasn't interested. Even if not interested myself I'd be insulted that he felt he had to go out of his way to make sure I knew he wasn't interested...

Dardania

I think that while your intentions are honourable, you may do more harm than good by contacting her (think false hope etc.)

Saucey-Susie

i think this is the silliest "issue" on this board ive ever read... you dont wanna see her? dont text or call her. She will get the hint and move on, if she hasnt already.
No one, male or female, wants to receive a text or a call from practically a stranger saying they dont what to see them again. its honestly no big deal. it happens to most of us out there!!

just get over it and meet another girl and this time dont take her number unless you like her so you dont feel like this again

John Mason

maybe a quick text to say that you are tied up for the next few weeks, but will give her a shout in a month or two?

i dont want her turning up at your door with a bottle of wine and a pair of killer heels

Oh The Humanity

pink fluffy bunny wrote: »

maybe a quick text to say that you are tied up for the next few weeks, but will give her a shout in a month or two?

i dont want her turning up at your door with a bottle of wine and a pair of killer heels

PMSL !!!!

Gawd, all this handwringing over nowt!

OP, Don't call or text!

Moomoo1

puglover wrote: »

I think thats the minority of people to be honest.

I think most people would be much more annoyed if some ons got in contact a few days later just to tell you he wasn't interested. Even if not interested myself I'd be insulted that he felt he had to go out of his way to make sure I knew he wasn't interested...

you might be insulted, but you may feel better because you won't agonise?

(this goes @all the others who replied to me also)

Overheal

leggo wrote: »

Why are people talking about 'owing' anyone anything? He's dealt with this girl for all of a few hours in total. I don't know about you guys...but I don't 'owe' anyone anything having only known them in that amount of time. Unless I've specifically said otherwise (for some reason).

I didnt know the girl at the Drive thru [sic] today more than a few seconds, but I still owed her $6.83.

Point being, theres not really a high prerequisite on owing somebody something. You might owe a stranger some common courtesy, for instance. Similarly a girl you fooled around with, may feel better if you returned her the courtesy, if she gave you her number.

Bluetonic

There is as much chance she doesn't want to be contacted and gave you her number so as not to feel awkward herself as she realised she needed to make a bee line for the door.

GigaByte

Moomoo1 wrote: »

so he should leave her agonising

Agonising!?

If she's going to be agonising over him not calling can you imagine the trauma she'll be going through if he rings her up and tells her he's not interested in meeting up! You'll be back her posting about how cruel he was and why would he do such a thing, etc...

OP just forget about it.

PS: She's probably hoping you don't call,

useful_contacts

Honey we are not stupid, if you dont contact us within a week we know you are not interested

lunacyfoundme

I was on the flip side of this the other week. I'm a guy and I met a girl out that I fancied for ages. Didn't get her number at the time but got it a few days later when I met her in town. I asked if she wanted to go for a drink and she sais yes so I got her number. Texted her the next week to set a date and she blew me off saying she had to work all week. Totally gutted. So my advice is don't take the number of anyone you're not interested in cause they will end up feeling hurt and foolish.

betterman

give me the number