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Couple Of Funnies

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  • 11-08-2009 12:13pm
    #1
    Rufus.T.Firefly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 159 ✭✭


    Six retired Jewish Floridian fellows were playing poker in the condo
    clubhouse when Meyer loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and
    drops dead at the table.


    Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing,
    but standing up...


    At the end of the game, Finklestein looks around and asks,

    "So, who's gonna tell his wife?"


    They cut the cards.. Goldberg picks the low card and has to carry the news.


    They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any
    worse.

    "Discreet?

    I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet.

    Discretion is my middle name.

    Leave it to me."


    Goldberg goes over to the Meyer's condo and knocks on the door.

    The wife answers through the door and asks what he wants?


    Goldberg declares:

    "Your husband just lost $500 in a poker game and is afraid to come home."


    "Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife.


    "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Things you don't want to hear during surgery...

    1.Better save that, we'll need it for the autopsy

    2.Accept this sacrifice, Oh Lord of Darkness

    3.Hand me that, uh, thingie

    4.You know, kidneys are worth a lot of money, and this guys got 2 of them

    5.What do you mean he wasn't coming in for a sex change

    6.I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses

    7.So what if I've *hiccup* had a few drinksch!!

    8.If this is his spleen, then what the hell is that other thing?

    9.Oh ****, page 39 of the manual is missing

    10.Has anyone seen my watch?

    11.Let's hurry, Britain's Got Talent is on tonight

    12.I hope this guy was insured

    13. Do you reckon that will hold it?

    14. NURSE NURSE NURSE!!

    15. What was this guys blood type again?


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