What's going on here? How do i fix it?

LegacyUser

I met a great girl on a dating site in April.I am 24 and she is 20.She broke up with her first serious boyfriend six months before that and it was a bad breakup.We texted and called each other for two months and got on great.During this time she explained that her boyfriend had hurt her badly and that he had asked her several times to take him back.She said that she wanted to move on from him even though she would probably always love him.

We exchanged pics by mobile phone and we were both attracted to each other.Our conversations were always great so I suggested we meet in June.She agreed initially but cancelled the night before we were due to have our date.She said that she was still confused about her boyfriend.I said i understood and that i would give her some space.Two days later she apologised and said that she wanted to meet again.I live in Cork and she lives in Donegal and because of busy schedules we found it difficult to find a day when we would both be free.We eventually decided that we would meet this month.We continued to text and call each other and became quite close

All was going well until one night we were texting and she said that she loved me.I said that i liked her a lot and that we shouldn't build things up too much just in case someone gets hurt and because we only knew each other a few months and also because she hadn't actually met each other.She was a little pissed off that i didn't feel the same as her and suggested that we be friends.I said that i wanted to get to know her more and that i liked her.Things were going well again until she said she loved me again a few weeks later.I said the same things that i had previously but she wasn't impressed.She said that i hurt her and that she just wants to be friends as she cannot be with someone that doesn't feel the same as her.She is now convinced that we should just be friends as she doesn't want to be hurt.The problem is I think this girl is great and I would like to be more than just friends.

What is going on here?Can a person genuinely love someone else after texting/calling for just over three months?I very much doubt it.How do i fix this situation though?This girl is great and drives me crazy(in a good way)

ManOfMystery

You've done nothing wrong. The girl is looking for a quick fix to end the pain she feels from her previous relationship and seems to think that declarations of undying love will do this, even though she hasn't even met you. This all or nothing approach is ridiculous and won't do her any favours in the long run.

shellyboo

Yeah, you're in the right here, OP. She's jumping the gun. I'd back off if I were you... this is a bad omen of worse to come. She sounds quite needy.

Dublin_Gunner

It appears she on a classic re-bound.

You're probably the first person that has managed to get close / show interest, so immediately she's becoming besotted with you (or thinks she is) in order to fill the void that was left behind from the breakup with her boyfriend.

TBH, and brutal, you should probably steer clear, and invest your time elsewhere. As great as she may seem, its going to be a while before she's back down to reality, and ready herself to get back into the dating game.

Lovelyjaws

Hey Man. I was in a similar situation a few months ago. Went on two dates with a girl and then she professed her undying love for me. This girl had also been hurt by her ex and I was the first person she had met since her ex. When i said that i didn't feel the same way she said I was just like her ex. It was all or nothing with her.

I did exactly what the others have said and avoided her to prevent trouble in the future..I would advise you to do so as well. I think Dublin Gunner has hit the nail on the head. She is using the fact that you like her to mask the pain she is probably still suffering from the break up with her ex. She wants to feel needed and wanted again. You have done nothing wrong. You have been honest and honesty is always the best policy!

Best of luck with your dating adventures