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Leaving your partner

  • 09-08-2009 5:53pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    How the hell do you do it?

    I have been with him just over 2 years, we have just got a beautiful house together, not long got our own 'joint' car (I had my own, he had none), I regret that bit because that was part of my independence.

    Anyway, I am not happy, I find myself crying most days because he has no time for me, he talks down to me, he isn't interested really so in response I get upset, he sees this as me being a battleaxe when I am just crying for love and affection and I am not getting it. Sometimes he will be the opposite but 80% of the time, he is horrible. He drinks a lot too so that emphasises the problem, in fact I think that is what causes it, he is a nice person sober.

    I have threatened to leave but quite rightly, he doesn't believe me because as yet I haven't gone. I love my house so much, I would hate having to leave all this and be embarrassed having to live back with my parents, as much as I love them. It could all be fixed if he made time for me, he swears he loves me and wants to marry me etc but he certainly doesn't show it and to be quite honest, I don't believe him, I think he is in this for the same reasons as me.

    I know you are all going to say just go, it is no good for you but it is so hard taking that step.

    Don't know what I am expecting from writing this because the answer is there in front of me, but I am so upset at losing what I have, I just love being here so much apart from the times where he makes me upset.


Comments

  • #2
    ManOfMystery
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    as you say, the answer is in front of you.

    Weight it up - your house/car versus a lifetime of feeling like this? Maybe worse as time goes on?

    They're only material things and can be replaced or obtained again in future.


  • #3
    CDfm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,649 ✭✭✭✭CDfm


    OP - you seem to have the blues.

    From your post I can't see what is wrong really.You have a house and car.

    You dont mention anything about work or friends or anything just that you sit in and cry all the time.

    You dont say what you expect from the relationship or indeed what you bring to the relationship. You havent said whether you love your b/f but you love your house.
    he swears he loves me and wants to marry me etc but he certainly doesn't show it and to be quite honest, I don't believe him, I think he is in this for the same reasons as me.
    So why are you in the relationship if you dont love him.


    You say he drinks too much -did he drink that much when you met him or does he go out to get out of the house?

    Have you itemised what you expect from a relationship and is it realistic?

    Have you spoken to anyone like your GP or to any of your friends.

    I think you should talk to your GP.


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