Ronnie Biggs to spend his last days in the Big Brother house

COCKCUSTARD

ONE of the world's most notorious criminals, Ronnie Biggs, the 'Great Train Robber', is to be released from his prison sentence today and whisked off to channel four studio's where he will join season tens big brother contestants.

Biggs is to be freed on "compassionate" grounds, the British Ministry of Justice announced last night.

"We don't have the man power to keep the crafty criminal under surveillance so we struck a deal with the channel four production team" Jack Straw stated.

Mr Straw said he had made the decision after considering the the ill health of Mr.Biggs. 'There will be no escape in the BB house with its 24 hour CCTV camera's and its ever hungry viewing public' he added.

The current BB contestants will have to nurse the master crim around the clock as part of their daily task. A special room has been added to the house for the great train robber. Lisa, Dog face and Bea are all given the task of caring for the cockney geeza while Marcus will guard the door entrance and will have to ware a train drivers uniform like that worn by Jack Mills 30 years ago. If they fail the task and Biggs dies they will all have to face eviction next week and their food allowance will be cut in half.

"We made the decision in order to increase ratings." said one of the shows producers. "people where getting fed up with all the bickering in the house so we welcomed the Justice ministers idea, Bigg's is a charismatic charachter and will surely get people watching, even if he is a vegetable"

But Mr Straw said the issue of compassionate release involved other considerations.

"In this case, I have had to consider the medical evidence against well-established criteria -- specifically whether death was likely to occur soon and whether the prisoner was bedridden or severely incapacitated.

"The medical evidence clearly shows that Mr Biggs is very ill and that his condition has deteriorated recently, culminating in his re-admission to hospital. His condition is not expected to improve, this maybe unfair to the BB contestants as they might loose the task sooner than they might think, but hey, thats television".

"It is for that reason that I am granting Mr Biggs compassionate release on medical grounds. I have therefore been satisfied that the relevant conditions have been met in the BB house."

Mr Straw added: "Mr Biggs will be subject to the same strict license conditions as other contestants on the show. He must live at an approved address, behave well, and cannot talk about evictions. If he were to breach those conditions or commit any further offence, he would be liable to immediate recall to prison."

Biggs (79), was readmitted to the Norfolk and Norwich University hospital last week, suffering from severe pneumonia. He had been in a special wing for elderly and infirm prisoners at Norwich jail. After his move to hospital his family appealed to the Ministry of Justice for him to be released from custody on compassionate grounds because of his ill health.

Biggs, from Lambeth, South London, was a member of a 15-strong gang that attacked the Glasgow-to-London mail train in August 1963, and made off with £2.6m in used banknotes.

The train driver, Jack Mills, was hit over the head during the robbery and never worked again. He died some years later from an unrelated illness.

Biggs was given a 30-year sentence but after 15 months he escaped from Wandsworth prison in southwest London by climbing a 30ft wall and fleeing in a furniture van.

He was on the run for more than 30 years, living in Australia and Brazil before returning to the UK voluntarily in 2001.

by Colm Williamson