Tips on chatting up guys in clubs?

pepsi1234

What has worked for you?

mehmeh12

A simple hi hello can work..i find chat up lines cheesy and fake.

pepsi1234

mehmeh12 wrote: »

A simple hi hello can work..i find chat up lines cheesy and fake.

In passing? Wait for them to reply? What to say then?
Agree with you that chat up lines are cheesy!

mehmeh12

It depends. If your looking for a quick shag then i guess something rather blunt like 'do you want to go off the toilets' or ' do you have x drug on you?'. That said if you want to make friends then a normal conversation will suffice. Tbh i find the gay scene if full of fakers who aren't even that hot. In fact most gay people i meet generally turn out to be assholes. Guess thats why i'm alone. Sigh :pac:

pepsi1234

mehmeh12 wrote: »

It depends. If your looking for a quick shag then i guess something rather blunt like 'do you want to go off the toilets' or ' do you have x drug on you?'. That said if you want to make friends then a normal conversation will suffice. Tbh i find the gay scene if full of fakers who aren't even that hot. In fact most gay people i meet generally turn out to be assholes. Guess thats why i'm alone. Sigh :pac:

aw, you'll find someone....keep at it like! Wouldn't be looking for a one night stand rather boyfriend material.

mehmeh12

Meh i'm happy alone.. a bit. Till i meet some one i really like id rather be alone. What clubs are you talking about? the g? gubu? dragon? yellow? the flounge?

pepsi1234

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Meh i'm happy alone.. a bit. Till i meet some one i really like id rather be alone. What clubs are you talking about? the g? gubu? dragon? yellow? the flounge?

Any club in general to be honest. I just moved to the sticks (Galway) so we're talking about Eden on Fridays. I went into the kip that is the stage door there and while sitting at the bar some old guy rubbed his hand down the side of my leg and asked me if I would like to go home with him (with a sleazy voice no less) Yuk!
I really don't know what to talk about though after approaching someone in a club setting. The weather, the economy, 'Do you come here often?' etc...

!!!

If you smoke ask someone may you use their lighter to get conversation started.

And remember, it's all in the eyes!

pepsi1234

!!! wrote: »

If you smoke ask someone may you use their lighter to get conversation started.

And remember, it's all in the eyes!

Don't smoke, but can start!

Okay, lots of eye contact so. Would be afraid of looking like a perv though!

Annasopra

While flirting anc chatting up are not exactly the same thing - maybe this might be of interest?

This years Gay Men’s Health Service’s summer living and loving workshops are happening again this August for gay and bi men.

The workshops topics are
Challenging internalised homophobia on 11/08/09
Sexual assertiveness 18/08/09
Flirting skills 25/08/09

The workshops will run from 7.30pm each evening to 9.30pm in Outhouse 105 Capel St.

To book your place please contact GMHS outreach team
01 8734952
gmhpoutreach@eircom.net

azezil

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Meh i'm happy alone.. a bit. Till i meet some one i really like id rather be alone. What clubs are you talking about? the g? gubu? dragon? yellow? the flounge?

You don't get out much do you?
Gubu closed to later reopen as Panti bar, yellow closed years ago and is now a jazz bar

mehmeh12

Jasus! Yeah your right its been a while since i went out to town :P

Is the gay scene still as fake as ever?

renraw

Deffo all in the eyes. I smoke and its always a good start (but do not take up the habit)... I was watching the match yesterday and didn't even have to put the auld gaydar in action. I don't do the scene and always manage to pull on the straight scene.

All in the eyes, but avoid looking like ya are a dirty perv coz a lot of people cant pull it off!

Deflector

As I work in Dublin city centre, involving quite a bit of walking, I just adore playing the glancing game. I've become something of an expert at it, especially when lads that are quite shy. They're soo cute in trying to avoid staring back . It's also great when you get the holy grail of the double take - true respect

What is it with checking out the shoes and trousers though?! It's hilarious, as like clockwork, they scan the face first, realise they're being checked out, then straight away scan down to the shoes and trousers to see if they're actually looking at another Ghey. I probably do the same, but it's still fun observing the practice. I suppose those fashion regions tend to offer sounder evidence, all considering.

Saying all that, I'm beyond useless at chat-ups, so keep the tips coming

mehmeh12

It's also great when you get the holy grail of the double take - true respect


What is a double take?

DubArk

mehmeh12 wrote: »

It's also great when you get the holy grail of the double take - true respect


What is a double take?

Its front and back

oneweb

mehmeh12 wrote: »

Tbh i find the gay scene if full of fakers
<snip>
Sigh :pac:

I'm with ya on that one! It's all a performance from the fake tan to the panto voice, and it's a vicious circle 'cos (I'd imagine) a lot of the no-frills straight-laced guys don't go on the scene for that very reason

!!! wrote: »

If you smoke ask someone may you use their lighter to get conversation started.

And remember, it's all in the eyes!

Told my mates about "Dart guy" who I liked - but who had long hair - which he later got cut - who asked me if I had a light one day. Hindsight confirms that "I don't, sorry" was the wrong answer! They told me it was the most obvious chatup line, aagh! Since then I try to carry a lighter with me. Went to test the process with the mates a while back and the thing wouldn't work, gah!

renraw wrote: »

Deffo all in the eyes.
<snip>
All in the eyes, but avoid looking like ya are a dirty perv coz a lot of people cant pull it off!

COMPLETELY agree! :P I used to be rubbish and looked away whenever someone looked at me. Now I've gotten far more comfortable doing it.

Deflector wrote: »

As I work in Dublin city centre, involving quite a bit of walking, I just adore playing the glancing game. I've become something of an expert at it, especially when lads that are quite shy. They're soo cute in trying to avoid staring back . It's also great when you get the holy grail of the double take - true respect

What is it with checking out the shoes and trousers though?!

The double-takes are great! Now if only I could just follow through with something!! I still do the odd 'look up and over' thing, usually 'cos I do a face-feet-crotch-face-building motion, lol.

Hey maybe they're checking shoe size for comparison

D'you know something it's so exciting to be single again


Can't believe they actually have those workshops! Sounds like a great idea. Have they been on before? What's the turnout?

Deflector

Ha, yes the best looks are when you are approaching each other on the street with a matching gaze, continue to stare as you move closer, arrive level with each other with the gaze still fixed, and then both turn ever so slightly backwards to squeeze the last few drops out of the moment (if you'll excuse the choice of language) as you pass, before it all becomes just rather inappropriate. And then you grin like a Cheshire cat for the next two minutes (and/or walk straight into a lamppost).

The other cute encounter is catching the casual glance of a guy at just the same moment, both quickly looking away, a moment passes as you or he moves off a bit, and then you both look back at just the same time to see if the other noticed first time round. I often start laughing helplessly lol. How silly. But fun.

prinz

Here's a tip. If someone points out that they're straight and not interested.. leave it be.

oneweb

Deflector wrote: »

The other cute encounter is catching the casual glance of a guy at just the same moment, both quickly looking away, a moment passes as you or he moves off a bit, and then you both look back at just the same time to see if the other noticed first time round.

Oh boy, I had a beauty of an eye contact game earlier today - Cute guy in front of me on the 39A. Noticed he was looking back, turning his eyes around a bit more each time. Caught each other's glances a few times and as he was heading down the stairs we both looked over at each other. I couldn't resist a big smile - even though I'd just had two wisdom teeth out an hour beforehand, lmao! :pac:

Pleeease tell me you were him!!

azezil

oneweb wrote: »

Oh boy, I had a beauty of an eye contact game earlier today - Cute guy in front of me on the 39A. Noticed he was looking back, turning his eyes around a bit more each time. Caught each other's glances a few times and as he was heading down the stairs we both looked over at each other. I couldn't resist a big smile - even though I'd just had two wisdom teeth out an hour beforehand, lmao! :pac:

Pleeease tell me you were him!!

LOL
Classy burd ;P

Jafin

!!! wrote: »

If you smoke ask someone may you use their lighter to get conversation started.

And remember, it's all in the eyes!

Ah s**t, no wonder I never get anyone! My friends have told me I cant do the "bedroom eyes" thing, they tried to teach me but I failed miserably.
Then again, at 20, Ive never actually tried to pull anyone....maybe thats why Im alone......

Im destined to be alone.

*sigh*

Boston

Self pitty can be smelled a mile away and is fairly off putting.

Anyway, as I discovered tonight, the Iphone appears to be the new hot pickup topic.

Jafin

Boston wrote: »

Self pitty can be smelled a mile away and is fairly off putting.

Anyway, as I discovered tonight, the Iphone appears to be the new hot pickup topic.

Oh Im not pitying myself,Im quite happy with my life and always have a great laugh on a night out, I dont mope in the corner drinking my pint and staring at people. I just need to learn how to put myself out there and show what I have to offer. There unfortunately just isnt a gay scene in my town and its very hard to sort out the gays from the straights here.

Deflector

Aww, Jafin always seems like such a lively chap - you just need more practice (and not the only one )

oneweb wrote: »

Pleeease tell me you were him!!

Alas I didn't have such an encounter in the past few days. I wish I was him though, oneweb. The stairs are great aren't they? The classic stare-as-you-step down maneuver being the last bastion of the eye flirt - the final chance to confirm what you suspected all along, while getting a decent gander in in the process. Heck, a smile has even been known to be elicted

KeyLimePie

Johnnymcg wrote: »

While flirting anc chatting up are not exactly the same thing - maybe this might be of interest?

This years Gay Men’s Health Service’s summer living and loving workshops are happening again this August for gay and bi men.

The workshops topics are
Challenging internalised homophobia on 11/08/09
Sexual assertiveness 18/08/09
Flirting skills 25/08/09

The workshops will run from 7.30pm each evening to 9.30pm in Outhouse 105 Capel St.

To book your place please contact GMHS outreach team
01 8734952
gmhpoutreach@eircom.net

I love how there's a sexual assertiveness cand flirting skills class right next to challenging internalised homophobia..............

But I think that self pity and desperation is quite offputting so like ya know, don't be like that? .

Jafin

Deflector wrote: »

Aww, Jafin always seems like such a lively chap - you just need more practice (and not the only one )

Do I? Seem like a lively chap that is, not need more practice.
Although yes I need more practice. Of course having an LGBT scene here wouldn't hurt, would help me get more practice, but there is none, so no pratice fo me.
.....theres always the mirror though.... or is that sad? :P

Boston

Jafin wrote: »

Do I? Seem like a lively chap that is, not need more practice.
Although yes I need more practice. Of course having an LGBT scene here wouldn't hurt, would help me get more practice, but there is none, so no pratice fo me.
.....theres always the mirror though.... or is that sad? :P

Ennis is not far from Cork which has a lively gay scene. Nothing stopping you getting a bus some Friday night and heading out then getting the late bus back. Better then sitting in ennis counting away the days till you get to move.

Jafin

Oh Id never go on my own, and I dont have any other gay/bi friends (that I know of at the moment, but there is one possibility). I was in Cork the other day actually, last bus back is like 6.25PM, and Id definitely need ome dutch courage. Im not in any rush anyway, I know somebody isnt gonna just fall into my lap (figuratively speaking of course)., but I'll get out there eventually.

Boston

No late night buses at weekends? Shocking. Personally I dislike scene intensely, but it's nice to have a drink now and again without being looked at like you've two heads. Probably loads of nice young gay men in ennis, in the same boat at yourself.

Jafin

There are a few that I know of, but most of them are rather camp, and while I have nothing against camp people, its jus not my style. In that respect Id probably not like the scene all that much, but would be nice to try it out once at least. It doesnt even have to be scene, just a nice place where (like you said) you wont be looked at like you have 2 heads, as was the reaction the first time I kissed a guy in a club.
I havent checked actually about late buses at the weekend, never thought of that. It was wednesday I think when I went down last week.

Deflector

Sure make a trip of it Jafin, and stay overnight! The Imperial Hotel has rooms going for €79 at the minute, which I recently availed of for a weekend break there. It's centrally located, within five minutes walk of most of the gay hotspots. And hey, a good-lookin young chap with a luxurious double bedroom going a-beggin...

Jafin

Deflector wrote: »

Sure make a trip of it Jafin, and stay overnight! The Imperial Hotel has rooms going for €79 at the minute, which I recently availed of for a weekend break there. It's centrally located, within five minutes walk of most of the gay hotspots. And hey, a good-lookin young chap with a luxurious double bedroom going a-beggin...

Ok well I'd have the young part and the double room part....all I need is the good-looking part and Im 3 for 3!
:P