Wedding speech nerves!

96offsuit

Hey all,

I'm best man next w.end for my mate and am very nervous about having to get up and do the bestman speech.

I've my speech well rehearsed and have the main points on cue cards.

However, my main worry is that I brick it completely when I stand up. I understand that nerves are necessary in order to give a good speech, but are they any tips/advice ye can give me to help me relax prior to standing up. I know that after a min or two i'll be fine...but its the waiting for the moment to finally arrive that will kill me.

Any breathing exercises to help relax prior to the speech?

Any help would be great.

regards

Four of a kind

i'd like some info on this question too

Micky Dolenz

speechs before or after dinner?

username123

96offsuit wrote: »

However, my main worry is that I brick it completely when I stand up. I understand that nerves are necessary in order to give a good speech, but are they any tips/advice ye can give me to help me relax prior to standing up. I know that after a min or two i'll be fine...but its the waiting for the moment to finally arrive that will kill me.

Have your opening sentences really really well rehearsed and ready. Its only the first couple of minutes that are bad with public speaking, once you get going you will be fine. As its approaching your time try to relax, breathe nice and deep. When you stand up, look around the room and smile. Try to mentally count to 10 before you begin to speak and try to deliver those first really well rehearsed sentences as though you are addressing a room full of people for whom english is their second language. Slow, deliberate, calm.
Once you get the first few words out you will rock along fine.

Good luck!!

bigdaddyliamo

Sounds like you have the nuts and bolts sorted. From here it's just about presentation! Two ways you can go about it...1)Picture everybody naked, this works well for focus just don't focus too much on the smoking hot bridesmaids...:D or 2) once you stand to deliver your opus, take a slow sip of water to wet your lips and throat.Nothing worse for speaking than to start with a squeak from a parched gob!Take a normal breath in and start slowly with a general welcome statement.If you take a big breath in the tendency is to expel it at the same speed and speech will sound like it was delivered by a chipmunk!

Good luck!:)

Mr. Presentable

Don't have a drink. Choose a friendly face in the crowd and address your speech to him/her. After a few seconds you'll be fine. Best of luck!

wholegrainbread

A few 'courage' shots perhaps?

I know that id get myself sightly tipsy in order to release the nerves.

copacetic

don't drink much but have a couple of beers to relax a little.

make sure to do the introduction of the bride and groom and read out peoples apologies and messages etc. This should get you over the initial 'standing up' nerves nice and smoothly. Otherwise speak as slowly as possible, everyone speeds up without noticing.

Trafford Lad

I definitely wouldnt get tipsy. I was best man at a wedding in England last year, I just had about 2 bottles leading up to it, initially I was bricking it as I only knew maybe about 3 people there, and the foreign country etc..but what got me by and my main piece of advice would to have your funniest remark or quip right at the start, once that goes down well you'll relax totally and it will just fly by. Them laughing gives you such a boost.

Four of a kind

this is great advice from all. Really appreciate this help. Sounds like its all from experience and yeah the first minute or two will be the worst...after that i'll be fine.

I'll try and get the breathing nice a relaxed before i stand up!

Four of a kind

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

speechs before or after dinner?

I wanted the speeches to be before dinner...but I was told by the bride they are to be after dinner! Easy known she does'nt have to say and word or do a speech.

DDigital

Speeches before dinner are becoming very common. Personally I think its a great idea, because many meals have been ruined due to the nerves before a speech.

Four of a kind

DDigital wrote: »

Speeches before dinner are becoming very common. Personally I think its a great idea, because many meals have been ruined due to the nerves before a speech.

Exactly my thinking and I certainly won't be eating a meal before having to stand up and speak.

henryporter

Picturing everyone naked is the biggest mistake of public speaking - instead try to picture everyone giving you a resounding round of applause at the end of a great speech. Practice every part of the speech as much as you can. Look up over the crowd rather than down - either way you can;t see them, but the former makes you appear more confident. Best of luck with the speech.

Manaris

Four of a kind wrote: »

Exactly my thinking and I certainly won't be eating a meal before having to stand up and speak.

I thought that too before my own wedding two years ago. I was bricking it about making my speech. Both me and my best man cleared our plates, much to my wife's surprise! It really isn't as bad as you think it will be, just remember that everyone in the crowd is on your side, there's nobody waiting for you to screw it up. I promise, you'll be fine!

Four of a kind

Manaris wrote: »

I thought that too before my own wedding two years ago. I was bricking it about making my speech. Both me and my best man cleared our plates, much to my wife's surprise! It really isn't as bad as you think it will be, just remember that everyone in the crowd is on your side, there's nobody waiting for you to screw it up. I promise, you'll be fine!

cheers dude.

copacetic

you are better off with the speeches after the meal. everyone has food in them and a few glasses of wine and beer, they are settled and in good humour. before the meal they are starving and sober. Remember its not a stand up gig and they aren't expecting to be entertained, its just a bonus if you give them a few laughs. They all want you to do well and will laugh and clap if you give them pauses to do so. Be conservative enough with the jokes and none at the brides expense.