Can this work?

LegacyUser

I get real turned on at the idea of my wife been with other men, we're together 9 years and both happy, its always been my idea and i always got off on the idea, she only recently became interested-thats why im asking as it might happen soon..

i would not like it to be someone we knew but a stranger so it would be just known by the 2 of us.

we've discussed this and she said she might be into it and we where talking about her been with 2 guys at once on holidays, both of us get turned on by this but we're both concerned at how it might affect us, has anyone any experience about this and can it work-the only reason stopping us is the chance that it could spoil our relationship,

i'd like to do swinging but she would not like me with another woman (sucks i know!) thats why we are more looking at this route, its purely about the sex and having fun.

opinions welcome..

Alas this is a hard question for anyone to answer as I guess most answers will be people who speak about how THEY would feel in this situation which is not what you want to know.

If I were you I would explore the idea slowly. I would start by continuing to talk about it openly for some time before proceeding at all. Not just talking about whether she WOULD do it, but what she thinks she would do, what thinks she is looking forward to about it and so on.

Even better again get her to start occasionally pointing out guys on the street, in the pub, or in shops which would be her “type”. Also start asking her what kind of guy she has in mind. What might happen is you will start to feel jealous by this, which will tell you that you would certainly not cope with her actually bedding one of these guys!

If after exploring all that, and talking about all that, you are still keen on the idea, THEN consider how and when to take it further. Start slow and just go out with her somewhere where she might meet and snog a guy. Or tells her next time shes out with the girls on the dance floor that shes welcome to snog anyone once she tells you about it on her return. From this and both of your reactions to this you can there decide where, if anywhere, to go with it from there.

In short, I just would not rush into this if I were you. What turns you on can make you rush into a mistake too quick. The secret here is time time time, and talk talk talk. I currently live in a relationship with 2 girls, not 1 and I can tell you that without communication this sort of thing just will not work, ever.

shellyboo

Lots of research, OP. Google 'cuckolding' and 'hotwifing' and read, read, read. Plenty of couples out there do what you're talking about, and successfully - but you need to really educate yourself on the topic and ALL the repercussions before you decide to do it one way or the other.

Really consider every possibility, every worst-case scenario, and weigh that up against how important your relationship is to you. Because fulfilling a fantasy is not worth ruining a marriage over.