Will I regret going down this road?

LegacyUser

Hi I am going unreg for this.

I have been suffering with depression for about 7-8 months now,I am in therapy and it has helped in some ways as I havn't been going that long.

However I still have some really terribly negative thinking and fear this is who I really am at the very core of me.

My therapist suggested,and I must note she said it was just if I felt comforatble with it and was in no way cajoling,that I go on a small dosage of meds,just to put me on an even keel so I will have a stronger foundations to do the hard work.

I really don't know what to do,I have so much fear attached to medication and in some senses feel it is a slippery road and I will end using it as a crutch forever more or feeling weak because I had to take them to feel normal so whatever happiness I do attain during that period is all down to the meds.

I understand they work incrementally and it's not like you will all of a sudden feel extremely happy and for most they barely notice them working.
But I still can't shake this negative feeling about them(probably part of problem).
I don't want this to be part of my history,that I need medication to deal with life,I know I have made progress with therapy but there are just some things that I feel are just engrained in me.

However I can see the merits in them also and to be honest I am so very tired of fighting the negative thoughts and fearing the future.

I know I have a long road ahead of me in therapy even if I do take the medication so its not a case of me going on them thinking they are a fix all solution.


I guess what I would like to hear from the boards community is other peoples experiences with them.
Thank you for reading.
Sorry if this post is disjointed.

LegacyUser

Hi..
I have also been suffering from depression for about a year now. I went to see my doctor and he referred me to a councellor and gave me meds to stabilise my moods and thoughts...That was a year ago roughly and I still haven't felt any effects of the medication or I havn't found that the councelling has helped much past the first two months...
I have now moved home for the summer holidays to see if that would help much, but guess what I feel more lonlier now than ever....
What I have to say is go back to your GP and discuss things with him/her and then talk again to your therapist...medication is not for everyone and some people do not feel the full effect of it for months but maybe it's worth a try...Even though I don't really feel much of an effect I still take the meds everyday and I'm hoping shortly that my doctor will change them and that I will go back to see my councellor shortly...
Meds and talking may be the key...I know you've tried therapy but maybe there's alternatives that you could discuss with you councellor...
Remember you are not alone in this!

Snowie

It's one of those things, OP dealing with the past can be more painful then when it happened, it's a difficult call on your part as it's your choice.

Having undergone therapy in the past I found that some day after, I'd write and write and write after sessions just because of the emotion's and feelings, that where awoken. If you've had a difficult past and the fact you may need to deal with it, and the difficult parts are always the hardest and most likely to leave you feeling the lowest.

Then the meds may be the crutch that you need, to help you get along the more difficult parts of therapy you may have to undergo?

The way I see it is, there's no shame in needing meds there good they keep you up when you maybe down its not week if anything its strengthening a foundation for the hard work that maybe ahead.

I think none of us can really say that its a bad idea or a good one its just something that might help you through some difficult sessions.

Hope this helps.

Novella

I don't really know what to tell you about anti-depressants, to be perfectly honest. They didn't magically fix anything for me and yeah, I'd say I did start to depend on them. I think if you feel you'd be ok continuing with the counselling for a while and seeing how you feel then you'd be better off. I'm not a professional, I can't offer you any kind of medical advice and I have no idea what you're feeling like but from my own personal experience, I wish I had never taken them.

Anyway, I hope things start to look up. Good luck with your decision and I'm sure whatever choice you make will be the right one for you.

LegacyUser

I have suffered from depression too and have found therapy to have ultimately been the outlet that has turned things around for.

However, there are merits for both. But the benefits of good therapy are that you can learn from it and take those coping skills on board for the rest of your life, stuff that medication alone would never achieve.

Tbh, your therapist isnt a medic, so if he/she suggests medication, the first thing I thought was that sounds, will all due respect, like a bit of a cop-out. Maybe, for no-ones fault, your relationship has stalled a bit and he/she doesnt know how to progress with things?

So I would consider a change of therapist. If it is negative thoughts that are specifically bringing you down, I would look for a clinical psychologist. Well worth the money if you find a good-one.

I would put some research into various therapies such as CBT and clinical-analytical therapy; both sound suitable (from personal experience).

The fact that you have told us that you have taken the brave step of seeking therapy to help you would suggest that you already know that good therapy is the real key in getting better.

I would only go on medication again if I had relapses of panic-attacks or a severe bout of depression. They never did anything to me bar numb my body and the pain I was in. They certainly didnt change the way I thought, that came with therapy and the ability to be honest about your issues, which I believe you already have been.

I wish you the very best in your healing and recovery (sorry for the long post)

Monkey61

OP used in conjunction with therapy, anti-depressants can work wonders and be an absolute life saver. The trouble with them is, that they are not a one size fits all cure and thus it can take a lot of trial and error with different types to get the right one that suits you.

The main thing I want to say to you is not to look at it as "needing meds to deal with life", that's ridiculous. If you need anti-Ds, you need them to alleviate the symptoms of an illness that you have and there is no shame in that. They can be a great help, not in making you happy, but at least in putting you back on something of an even keel from which you can be better equipped to make the changes necessary in your life to get yourself well again.

I know I have been touting this one analogy for the last two years, so bear with me those that have heard it a million times before, but if you were a diabetic, would you refuse insulin because you didn't want to be depending on it for life? Of course you wouldn't. Nobody would expect a broken leg to heal itself either.

Taking medication might seem like a big step, but in the grand scheme of life wouldn't you rather try one small thing if it could help your long term happiness? I was a firm believer in fixing myself and soldiering on and saw medication as a sign of weakness - that was stupid. When I was eventually forced to start a course of anti-Ds it changed my life. The relief was absolutely immense. Yes there is side effects as your body is getting used to them, but they generally pass within a month or so and if not, then the medication is probably just the wrong one for you. They are not addictive either and while certain types have been known to have difficult side effects when coming off them - those would not generally be the ones automatically prescribed nowadays anyway.

I think the bottom line is,that while it is very unfortunate and yes unfair too, you suffer from depression. It is an illness and it is already part of your life and your history whether you want it to be or not. How you handle it from here on in is up to you, so don't you think that you owe it to yourself to do everything possible to get your mental health back on track again?

kittensoft1984

Hi Op,

I suffered from depression last year and like you was totally against the idea of anti-depressants. My reasoning was that I didnt want anything to cloud my thoughts while I worked through what was going on in my head.

I spoke to my GP who assured me that wouldnt happen. So I started on them. To be honest it was a bit of a weird experience. They didnt start making me feel loads better straight away but I did feel like had extreme mood swings - really high one day and really low the next. Maybe they were the wrong ones I was on. Im not sure.

Ive moved back home now and am off them about 6 months. Sometimes they can help getting over the intial stages....

Thats my thoughts anyway!

LegacyUser

Hi OP here,
Just to reply to a few people,the therapist only suggested I go on meds after I made a comment of being tired of fighting this and wanting a break.
She followed up by saying she knows I can do this by myself and the relationship I have with her would be good so I can't fault her.
When I initially starting going to her I had been offered meds by my GP but decided I wanted to go down the therapy route.


I know there is no shame in taking them I have friends who do and if it was anyone else I would be telling them if they needed the help they should go for it.

I think I have come to the decisions to not take them,if I am going to get over this it will come from inside me and changing my thought parterns.
Yes medication is helpful to some people and it may help the everyday sad feelings I have,which in turn would make it easier to deal with the factors that started this all.

However I just feel if I get through this without them I will feel stronger for it,that it was me who was able to get through and thus have renewed confidence in my abilities.
I now know the option is there if it ever comes to that,but I am feeling positive that I can do this.

Thank you for all for your advice.

LegacyUser

veryconfused wrote: »

However I just feel if I get through this without them I will feel stronger for it,that it was me who was able to get through and thus have renewed confidence in my abilities.
I now know the option is there if it ever comes to that,but I am feeling positive that I can do this.

Thank you for all for your advice.

Absolutley 100% the right decision. You have to feel everything thats going on because its those feelings that guide you. I mean if you feel sad and down you know something isnt right, so you investigate and find out whats wrong. But if you numb that process with medication you'll never get to the root cause. Ive known people who took anti-depressants and they quickly grew to rely upon them. The idea behind taking the pills is that they help you while youre undergoing therapy so that eventually when you feel better you can ditch the pills. In theory that sounds great but its rarely what happens in actuality. People become dependent upon them and use them to function in every day life which is no way to live.
Cognitive behavoural Therapy does the job without medication. It gets to the root cause and gradually, with work you can turn your negative thinking around. I would also recommend meditation in conjuction with the CBT as meditation shows you how to sit with your feelings, which is a crucial skill to learn if you are to overcome your difficulties. This place offers a 5-week course in beginners medidation and it is top class. Its run by buddhists but its general meditation they teach, they keep their religion out of the equation completely. Very cheap aswell:

www.dublinbuddhistcentre.org

Keep up the good work and remember that no matter what you dont need pills, everything you need is within you.

ciotog

Unregistered wrote: »

Keep up the good work and remember that no matter what you dont need pills, everything you need is within you.

Specific medical advice like this shouldn't be given here on the forums. Whether the OP does or doesn't take medication should be guided by a doctor so a fully informed decision is made. No issue with people who prefer to avoid medication and your meditation suggestion is excellent.

Nevyn

It can help, esp if you are getting worn down and getitng worse of if you are are getting to the stage in talk therphy where you will be dealing with core issues.
They stop you from sinking below a certain point, they give you a more stable base fo face things and make changes.
There's no shame in it, and yes they are incremental and yes it can take a while for them to come into effect but go talk to your dr about it, some people are only on them for a very short amount of time.

LegacyUser

ciotog wrote: »

Specific medical advice like this shouldn't be given here on the forums. Whether the OP does or doesn't take medication should be guided by a doctor so a fully informed decision is made. No issue with people who prefer to avoid medication and your meditation suggestion is excellent.

I dont think the OP was asking for medical advice it was about other peoples experiences of medication

An Bhanríon

Hi OP,

I have never suffered severe depression myself but I know a lot of people who have. So I speak from the experience of others and not my own. My impression is that medication is always seen as the easiest and quickest option 'to sort out the problem'. In most cases I am not sure it is. Therefore I think you are an extremely brave and strong person to try and sort out your demons through therapy. It cannot be easy and I'm sure you will feel you are going backwards instead of forwards at times.

However, I wouldn't rule out medication completely. If things are very very tough it could help you through a rough patch and help you cope with the issues which are coming up in therapy. I don't think it's a copout to take medication, as long as you are clear why exactly you are taking it.

Trust your own instincts and listen to advice from people you trust. And never listen to anybody who tells you some people just can't cope with life and that's the way they are made. Some people just have to work harder at it, but that hard work will always pays off in the end.

Good luck!