Fiancée signed up to dating site

Mister Fister

My fiance of a year has signed up to a speed dating site? she left her email open on our computer and when i went to check my email i noticed a mail to her about possible matches? I checked her profile and it said she was in a relationship but i still feel betrayed somewhat. What should i do here?

CDfm

The only thing you can do is tell her exactly what has happened and that you have seen her listing.

It is really for her to explain it to you but it should put ideas of marriage on hold as that indicates a lack of definate commitment.

It could just be an ego boost or jealousy exercise but either way you need to have a serious chat and you should not be reluctant to discuss it with her immediately.

puglover

Can I ask what the site was. I know I have inadvertedly signed myself up for these things when you apps on Facebook or Bebo. You could be doing a quiz to see "Which Sex and the City girl you are"(pathetic i know:rolleyes:) and somehow end up giving permission to be registered on one of these things.

I am on one particularly annoying one zoosk... they send me about 3 mails a day with possible matches and no matter how many times I try to unsubscribe they just keep coming.

There are quite a few of these things friendzii is another one I can think of.

Could be one of these, maybe just ask her...

Mister Fister

puglover wrote: »

Can I ask what the site was. I know I have inadvertedly signed myself up for these things when you apps on Facebook or Bebo. You could be doing a quiz to see "Which Sex and the City girl you are"(pathetic i know:rolleyes:) and somehow end up giving permission to be registered on one of these things.

I am on one particularly annoying one zoosk... they send me about 3 mails a day with possible matches and no matter how many times I try to unsubscribe they just keep coming.

There are quite a few of these things friendzii is another one I can think of.

Could be one of these, maybe just ask her...

its speeddate which i think is on FB, it doesnt look like she inadvertently signed up as she filled in all the info in her profile. she does mention she is in a relationship?

beertons

Dude, speed date used to be name analyser. Don't worry about it. She's not doing the dirty.

blairbear

I think speed date lifts the profile info from your regular facebook profile..I get those emails ALL the time, wrecks my head, have never interacted with it and the emails keep coming!

tommiejoie

OP, just blurt it out and say "why are there speed dating e-mails in your inbox?". Dont make any accusations, say it in a joking kind of tone because chances are its just a random junk e-mail like the other posters have said.

Seriously, you have nothing to be worrying about but do bring it up for your own peace of mind.

LegacyUser

Hi there, Just had to respond. I was in a serious relationship for the last two years, a year and a half into it the exact same as you happened - my b/f left his email open and asked me to check a hotel reservation we had made, I inadvertently saw an email from and address. Confronted him on it and he said it was work related. Knew it wasn't so decided to dig deeper. Discovered that he had signed up to lots fo dating agencies and was flirty online continuously with hundreds of women (over 500 that I counted).

Anyway, once he finally admitted that he was doing this...hard to get out of him even with the evidence, he insisted it was only a fantasy thing and just a 'habit' that he had gotten into. He honestly saw no wrong in it and couldn't understand how it had upset me. I spent another 6 months with him trying to get over it but I couldnt as I knew deep down he would never end it. I dont know what this flirting online gave him outside of a normal healthy relationship, but it was obvoisly something he needed. The sad thing now is that we split 2 months ago and he is still on these sites and it is a downward spiral for him. His family want him to get councelling as he has addiction and committement issues.

I would say to bide your time and try to get as much evidence as you can to ensure that she is on these sites, and then confront her. It is no good to be playing second fiddle to a site as if she is on these there is obviously something she feels she is missing - or some issue she has. It is hurtful to be in an honest committed relationship when the honesty and committement is all one sided.

I sympathise comletely with you. My ex has completely destroy my trust in men as he told me he was going to propose to me on the exact holiday where I found all this out.....go figure

peekyboo

OP seriously don't worry! If it's FB you're talking about then it means nothing. It has done this to me and my boyfriend and neither of us 'signed up' to it. It lifts your info so really don't worry. Those bloody things are trouble!

LegacyUser

I get those off facebook and I have never registered for anything like that, my profile says engaged and I still get notifications saying "steve wants to kiss you", "we have found you some speed matches" etc.

Try not to worry.

squonk

Yup, OP don't be bothered. FB is like that. It's actually quite a pain getting those emails. I'm so far past ignorning them now it's not funny and I'd say your bf is the exact same. Tbh I'm not sure there is anything he can say other than 'Oh they just arrive and I didn't sign up for them' but whetther that's enought o ease your own mind is for you to decide. I would say he's 99% most likely telling the truth if he says he doesn't know how he's getting them. If it was my OH in this case, I'd mention it in passing but no more. It's a real non issue I think.

LegacyUser

Somehow I'm signed up to 'Speed date'! I think through doing a silly quiz on facebook and now I'm getting emails saying 'Eoin' wants to chat with me...!! I also am in a relationship and did intenionally go looking for a dating service! Talk to your fiancee, it's probably entirely innocent.