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Not sure what is happening!

  • 06-08-2009 1:29am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi All.

    I've been with my GF for 6 years. Over the last year or so we've ended up living together mainly due to location. We recently moved into our own places again once the lease in the older house was up (basically we can't afford a place together so we're now in our own places).

    A week before we left the old place we had a misunderstanding and she said she wasn't sure where "we" were going and that she thought she wanted us to break up. She was always very ambitious but over the past year or two got into a "routine" of sorts and seems to be stuck in a rut. I did too.

    We decided to give it a month or so in our new surroundings and see how it went. Four days later I'm a complete wreak. We're still in contact as much as usual but I'm not handling the whole "we're living apart so we don't see each other every day" part of it very well.

    I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. It could be a mixture of being apart so much or moreso the fact that she mentioned that she "might" want to break up.

    Anyway, thanks for listening. I just needed to get part of it out of my head.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi love, sorry to hear things are bad.

    I don't want to upset you but I think you need to end the relationship mentally as you can't control how she feels or what she wants. I can completely understand how hard it is from living together to not, it really is horrible.

    Don't let her keep you hanging for a decision, just think if you did get back on track, it wouldn't be the same anyway because the seed has been planted now that she isn't in it 100% and you will be bending over backwards to make it right and you may get the same result.

    Take some time off work and try to take pleasure in your new home, buy nice things for it, decorate to keep your mind occupied, you never know, you setting up your own 'life' may make her realise whether she is happy with you moving on or not.

    Good luck, try to be strong.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    maybe she feels that ye are moving back a step and not forward as relationships are ment to go


  • #4
    Queencake
    Closed Accounts Posts: 176 ✭✭Queencake


    Yes, I agree with the last poster. Could she feel like ye will always be stuck "here". Maybe she wanted you to sort out the living together thing - find a place that will work for you both as regards money (surely it couldn't be that hard?).

    After 6 years maybe she is looking to see if you are looking to your future together. She's ambitious as you yourself said. Maybe she's unhappy with her lot at the moment (a lot of people are). Maybe now is the time for you to seriously look at what you want in YOUR future and consider what she wants in hers. If they don't match up then maybe she IS right and this split will be inevitable and for the best. But if you can make it work, if you're willing to do what it takes then you need to act fast.

    Be prepared for it not to work. But 6 years is a long time and it would be foolhardy to throw that away without trying.


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