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And then the fight started

05-08-2009 2:19pm

#1

pajero2005

Closed Accounts Posts: 315 ✭✭

Join Date: March 2009

Posts: 295

And then the fight started

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while
we were
in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
******************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch,
grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
boat up to
the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The
wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage,
turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid
husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
******************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the
road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how
sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM
NOT HAPPY
!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are
you?"
And then the fight started.....
*****************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
about 3
seconds.'
I bought her some bathroom scales.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left
my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
would have
to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt
revealing my
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is
proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have
gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started....

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