Ex getting in contact

LegacyUser

My ex broke up with me about 9 months ago because 1- we were having a long distance relationship (she was in college in Cork and i was working in Dublin) & 2- She said she felt she was too young to be in a long term relationship and wanted to live a little herself (She was 21 and i was 23 and i was her first longterm boyfriend as we went out for 2 and a half years).

I didn't want to break up but we agreed that we would give each other space to get over each other and not contact each other by giving us space. She did tell me that she did love me but it was something that she felt she had to do or she might regret it.

After time she used to ring when drunk and say she missed me. I tried to ignore it as meaning anything and i did well for a few months. I found it very difficult for a long time as i really wanted her back and we ended up sleeping with each other twice over the first 6 months we were broken up.

Anyway even though it was very difficult i managed to move on and convinced myself that it was over. I stopped answering her calls at night and even though i'd answer the odd text i wasn't acting all obsessed like i used to. Last time we met she told me that she really missed me as a friend as we had been so close. She says she wants to keep in contact but doesn't want to get back together.

What i wanted to ask was is it possible that maybe she does want to get back together or is she actually just looking to be friends. The problem is i do like her and don't hate her or anything but my gut says that if possible i would like to get back with her. It took me so long to get over her i don't want to fall back down that hole again if she doesn't want me back.

Any advice or experience would be a huge help.

themacdaddy

Unregistered wrote: »

She says she wants to keep in contact but doesn't want to get back together.

Sorry mate from what you have said above I seriously doubt it. You are not really moving on from the relationship and I think you need to cut contact in order to get over her. She said she wants you as a friend and you have to accept that...but I don't think you can be her friend without wanting more. Cut contact mate, move on and find happiness. If you don't you will be forever wanting something that sadly won't happen...best of luck!

hullaballoo

She might be struggling with the idea of not having intimacy on tap and wants to keep her options open. You know the way it is - relationships can sometimes become more habit than emotion and now that she doesn't have the boyfriend to cuddle up to etc., she might be struggling. However, that doesn't mean she wants you personally back - just some of the intimacy.

The other aspect might be that she really does miss your company but given that you don't want just friendship, you're only going to hurt yourself by keeping in touch. Tell her, if you must tell her anything, that you just need a little time to adapt and you'll get in touch in a while (be vague!) when you're good and ready.

If you can follow your head and not your heart on this, you'll be a far better man than most (myself included).

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replys, i had kind of known it myself i was just looking to see if there was any chance she may be thinking differently and whether i should do something. But i realise what has happened previously and if she didn't want it to end before she wouldn't have. I have moved on but of course i'll always have tat bit of me that maybe wants her back!

If anyone else has ever experienced this i'd love to hear how it worked out.