Confused and can't get her out of my head!

hmmmmm1

a few years ago i went out with a girl who i completely, instantly fell completely head over heels in love with. After a few weeks though we finished. She finished it but still wanted to be friends, said we were too young to be in a seriuous relationship. I thought "ok shes not interested in you at all". But we were still like best friends, we were always texting each other and phoning each other. We'd talk for ages. Then we both finished the leaving, i went to college in ireland while she went off to England to college but we still always sent emails to each other every week or second week. Every day i'd think about her and "what if...?"

When she'd come back home for holidays and stuff she'd be on to me and we'd bump into each other on nights on and my heart would start pounding straight away when i'd see her. i wouldn't be able to focus on anyone else. in a room of girls i'd think she'd be the most beautiful.

Anyway, i would guess like any other guy i just bottled my feelings up and buried it nice and deep......deep, deep, deep, deep, DEEP! I was just happy to be her friend and that she'd be happy with whoever she ended up with.

Since she left for england though i've been going out with another girl for a couple of years now. We met up and i was interested but not in love with her to start with but over the years i have fallen for her. The first girl too met someone as well over in england and they've been going out for about 2 years.

anyway around christmas the first girl came back and we met up on a night out. We went outside anyway to get some air and catch up and she told me she still really liked me and had feelings for me. That i was more than just a friend to her. I actually couldn't say anything for a while cause it felt like she hit me with a hammer. all the feelings i'd bottled up came up. and i told her i still had feelings for her too. and then i kissed her. i then realised i shouldn't be doing that so i stopped and we both realised we shouldn't have kissed but we still both know how we feel about each other. Now before you think she said that because she was drunk and wanted a score, she was stone sober.

Every day since then shes been on my mind. Everyday i'm working shes at the back of my mind. even when i'm with my girlfriend, i'm thinking about her.

I'm crazy about them both. the first is the love that got away, and the girl i'm with now i've built a great relationship with.

I don't really know what question i'm asking. i guess its just i have never told anyone about this. i mean my best friends don't even know about this.

I guess i just want to know if anyone else has been in this position and if so what did they do. or just advice on what i should do. do i bottle up my feelings again even though i know she feels the same? or do i break up with my girlfriend and take a chance?

Sorry this post is so long.

pog it

What do you think your Girlfriend would think if she knew you had been with your ex? Had you all these feelings before your ex girlfriend came back? If so, why lead your poor current girlfriend on?

I say let the current girlfriend go and let her find somebody who deserves her,not someone waiting to see what transpires with his ex.