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Fancy a female friend - should I say so and risk our friendship

  • 02-08-2009 6:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    As it says I fancy a good female friend of mine...we're not exactly kids..40's...both recently enough of of LTRs...we're in a club together and often have weekends away with the club..nought has EVER happened...
    We get on really really well...I have always had a 'wee eye for her' (ever since I first met her a couple of years ago TBH..) and I THINK she thinks of me in the same light but is waiting for me to say / do something...or maybe not..
    If I do tell her how I feel I could risk what I consider to be a great friendship...
    Opinions??


Comments

  • #2
    Rosita
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,147 ✭✭✭Rosita


    I think you can be discreet or delicate enough to let her know how you feel without having a big scene which risks a friendship. That's the brilliant thing about being your age.

    But it seems a shame to let the possibilities pass.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Rosita wrote: »
    I think you can be discreet or delicate enough to let her know how you feel without having a big scene which risks a friendship. That's the brilliant thing about being your age.

    But it seems a shame to let the possibilities pass.

    Op here
    Hmm..yes at my age I should know how to...but as I said she's a fab friend and don't want to risk that...but also would love to explore the possibilities of an 'us'...any suggestions?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey op

    I've been there. Fancied a friend and was afraid that if I said something I'd ruin the friendship. But eventually I decided that I'd rather know than not so I said something. Long story short, it didn't work out but don't let that deter you ! I'm so glad I did. And our friendship has lasted. Little weird at first but we got over it.

    But thats my story - yours could be different.
    Do it - don't live with the regret anyway

    My two cents
    Good luck :)


  • #5
    Wagon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,119 ✭✭✭Wagon


    To hell with "don't want to ruin the friendship". If it's strong enough, it'll survive it. just tell her and see how things go.


  • #6
    scanlas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 542 ✭✭✭scanlas


    Check out this woman's advice on getting out of the friend zone, it's very good.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hblj9r2Snto&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Epuatraining%2Ecom%2Fpuablog%2F&feature=player_embedded


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OP here again

    Well my 'friend' did me a good deed last eve...was over in mine too after helping me out..I said NOUGHT...

    Maybe next time eh??? :-(


  • #8
    tbh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    what you're doing here is living in a fantasy world. You're fantasising about how much better your life would be if you got together with this woman, and I bet when you are doing it, you aren't picturing the two of you rowing over who cleans the toilet and who gets the shopping. You're becoming "used" to a relationship that doesn't exist, and you're not asking the woman how she feels because you don't want to jepordise the fantasy that you have.

    You have to talk to her. Either way, you can't go on like this. If she does like you, you're wasting time. If she doesn't like you, you're going to be more hurt the more you build it up in your head.

    If a female friend of mine approached me and told me she had feelings for her, the last thing I would be is angry. I might be happy, or sad that I didn't feel the same way, but in no way would I "punish" her for it. Normal, mature people don't roll like that.

    So, tell her how you feel, and ask her if she feels the same way. If she does, great. If she doesn't, no hard feelings. But either way it's time to stop hitting the snooze button and get on with your life.


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