What is a "Break"? Guys advise needed please

LegacyUser

When a guy says he needs a break, what does he mean?
Is it just to clear his mind or is he saying its over?

Silverfish

How is this a relationship issue for you OP?

LegacyUser

My OH wants one

Silverfish

Was it just out of the blue, or have you been having problems?

Usually a break means one of two things, either "I want to be single, but if I can't get off with the girls I want, I want you there as a safety net'

or it can mean 'Things are getting on top of me and I want some time to sort my head out without dragging you down and worrying about you as well'

Cookie Jar

Silverfish wrote: »

Usually a break means one of two things, either "I want to be single, but if I can't get off with the girls I want, I want you there as a safety net'

Sadly thats usually the case:(

But best thing to do is talk to him and ask him out front if he see's you two getting back together.

LegacyUser

Yes its out of the blue
but I suppose it has been on the cards
Thanks for answering

LegacyUser

Thanks don't know if I want to hear the answer though, but I know I have to do it

muboop1

Only he can answer this one..

Often it can be a precursor to a breakup.

Someone weaning themselves off, or giving warning.

It can also mean i want to be free to have anyone i want.

Occasionally it means i just need some space.

Only your OH can tell you!

Silverfish

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks don't know if I want to hear the answer though, but I know I have to do it

Definitely, usually a 'break' is on agreed terms. You're at least owed an explanation for it.

Sephiroth_dude

In my experience op its not good,it eventually leads to a break up.Ask him why he wants it,did he give you a reason?

unhappycamper

A 'break' means 'I want time alone to consider if I really love you enough to stay with you'.... My heart goes out to you op.

Sephiroth_dude

unhappycamper wrote: »

My heart goes out to you op.

As does my,its not a nice situation to be in at all.

LegacyUser

Thank you all for coming back.
Hopefully he will come back with a clear head (in a good way)

Colonel_McCoy

Break = I want to be alone and more than likely resulting ending in a break up.

Sorry

LegacyUser

To be honest I think it really depends. Have you been arguing much before? Recently I suggested one with my GF because we were literally at each others throats the entire time. I felt that we were arguing because we were seeing too much of each other. Like I genuinely just wanted space an had no interest in anyone else but her.

Wibbs

It can be just a "break", but more often than not, especially if it comes with little explanation it means a breakup. They're testing their emotional waters to see if they can go through with it, or they want to keep you in the frame as a backup.

IMHO Regardless of what option it is, a break always means one thing, the relationship is broken. Now that can be like Unregistered wrote that you need to step back to come back at the relationship from a better angle and it's only one part that is broken(seeing too much of each other etc).

OP you say it's both "out of the blue" and "on the cards". It can't really be both, so it sounds like this has been brewing for a while. That there exists issues or a specific issue in the relationship. Issues that have not been addressed. You'll know yourself what they are too. We always do. Though we may not admit it or hope it goes away after each argument(a particularly blokey one the latter).

Figure out what is the issue. Try and look at it honestly and see if honestly it can be overcome. If so and it's within your power to sort your end of it, then try. Even if he buggers off, you'll still be a better person for seeking to improve yourself for yourself. It also means that down the line, with him or another guy, it's less likely to happen.

As I say that's only if it is more in play on your side. If it's more on his side or a situational thing that can't really be changed, or simply you've reached the realistic end of the relationship(and hes just gotten there before you)then it's more problematic.

You need to talk with him. Keep the emotion to a minimum when you do would be my advice. Try and step back and see where you and he and you as a couple are going. Too many breaks end up as breakups because of pushing when you should be pulling back.

Looking back in my own life, I would say with the benefit of hinsight, of the "breaks" that exes asked for, I could have stopped most of them turning into breakups.