Only chldren

flahers

All my life I wished I had brothers and sister or even one brother or sister. Now that I'm a lot older I feel this even more. Do you think only children the saying 'only children are lonely children' ring true.

Moonbeam

Being an only child I would say yes completely.
I think I felt it more when I was older as when I was young there were always loads of cousins to visit.
When I got older I missed what I never had and still do.

kenon

flahers wrote: »

Do you think only children the saying 'only children are lonely children' ring true.

Being an only child I've never heard that. My family call me a "lonely child" to annoy me though.

I can honestly say I never wished for siblings. I've never had siblings so its hard to wish for them. In saying that I realise I am missing out on the bonds that other people have with their siblings.

LegacyUser

Just be grateful for what you have. Plenty of people with siblings fight with each other. there can be a lot of rivalry. at least you got all the attention from your parents. focus on building up good friendships with people if you are lonely.

KiLLeR CoUCh

Yes absolutely. I didn't mind so much when I was younger but I do feel like I miss out on the bonds other people seem to have with their siblings.

Oddly enough people's responses to when they find out I'm an only child have changed completely as I got older. When I was younger I lost count of the times I heard "Oh, you're so lucky you must be spoiled", now I'm far more likely to be told how unfortunate I am :cool:

LegacyUser

It's not just only children who are lonely children. I was a good bit younger than my 3 siblings so when I was a child it was the same as being an only child. It's only since we all got older that I feel the benefit of having siblings.

elbee

I'm an only child and while I can understand why you feel that way, I really like being an only child. I also quite like being on my own, because I'm used to it, so I find I'm a bit less prone to feeling lonely than people I know who grew up with a house full of siblings around.

I do feel, though, since my dad died, that being an only child is a lot of responsibility, because I'm the only person responsible for my mum's care as she gets older (fortunately she's still very fit and active and only sixty, so touch wood that won't be a problem for a long time yet!). But then, if I did have siblings, for all I know they could cause more problems by refusing to help out or having different views on where my mum should live, so at least this way she and I just work stuff out between ourselves.

I once knew a woman who was orphaned as a baby, who grew up in care. She was reunited with her biological half-siblings in her forties and when a friend asked her how she felt about it, she said 'Well, I'm excited to meet them. But I have my own brothers and sisters. I got to choose them along the way.' Works for me, anyway.

milkado

I'm an only child and really don't get when people ask whether I prefer not having brothers or sisters, how would I know like! You can't miss what you don't have! There are a lot of benefits to being an only child, hate when people call me spoilt but I do have a pretty comfortable life... cousins and friends make up for a lack of brothers and sisters and I don't think I'm missing out even as I'm getting older.

I do plan on having more than one child myself though, nothing to do with being an only child though!!

fascination

Growing up it never bothered me, if people asked me 'Do you mind being an only child' I would answer 'Sure, I don't know any better, I don't mind it.'
Now, in my twenties I envy the relationships my friends have with their siblings.
I believe sibling rivalry can train you for the real world! When you have no one to compete against at home it can lead to passiveness, unassertiveness.
For the majority of my friends, where their relationships with siblings might have been fraught in their teens, everyone seems to make a better effort once they mature. It's a whole extra element in your social/support network imo. I realise now I've missed out somewhat but I try not to dwell on it too much.

beccabeccabecca

I hate being an only child. My parents are very much the type who believe that children should be seen and not heard, so I had many an imaginary friend to keep me company over the years . Worse still, we live in the back of beyonds so there weren't even any neighbourhood children I could play with. I would have loved a brother or sister. Also, I find that the amount of pressure I find myself under, particularly since I've become a teenager, is unreal. You're their only one, so you've got to be almost perfect. The full burden is on you to meet the expectations they have of you.

Eve_Dublin

Hi OP...just a bit of an insight into the world of someone from a large family. I'm the youngest out of 5 kids (I'm 29...oldest brother is 41) and as much as I love being from a large family NOW, it was incredibly stressful growing up with 7 of us piled into our house (including parents)...none of us got along growing up and there was constant fighting. There was always, always drama in my home and there was never any peace. I was always jealous of kids with smaller families because my house with all those kids was a virtual mental asylum. I probably felt alone as you sometimes when all of this madness was going on and I was trying to keep out of the firing line.

Things didn't settle down 'till a couple of years ago and even now there's ALWAYS a sibling with some crisis that has to be dealt with. There's constant pressure to be there for family members, guilt if any of us decide to move away from the family for whatever reason (2 live abroad and I'm moving soon)...it's none stop. Put it this way, we get along best when we're not in the same country as each other or we don't spend more than a day together (Christmas day used to be my LEAST favourite day of the year). Having siblings is great, I won't deny that but the reality is so far from The Waltons it's not even funny. I think we prefer the IDEA of having each other in our lives than actually physically having each other in our lives.:pac:

Our personalities are all so different that sometimes I wonder if we really are related at all...just because your surrounded by people, doesn't mean you're any less capable of being lonely and just because you're related it doesn't mean you actually get along or have anything in common bar family ties (although we do more as we've gotten older, I suppose)

Be thankful for your peaceful existence, OP...and to end this post on a cheery note and I mean this in a very black humorous sense but you've got a hell of a lot less funerals to attend to than I do thus a hell of a lot less heartache ahead.

LegacyUser

I have brothers and sisters. I am middle child and can say I suffer from middle child syndrome. I always felt and still feel like a ghost in my family. Never noticed no matter what I achieve. I guess the grass is always greener i.e. I always thought if I was an only child I would be happier!

simu

flahers wrote: »

All my life I wished I had brothers and sister or even one brother or sister. Now that I'm a lot older I feel this even more. Do you think only children the saying 'only children are lonely children' ring true.

There's little point in wallowing in self-pity. It was your parents' choice how many kids to have, not yours, and besides, you just don't know whether things would have turned out better or worse for you had you had siblings. If you're feeling lonely now, it would make more sense to build good friendships or start your own family rather than getting eaten up by regrets.

Monkey61

There is two kids in my family and I wish I was an only child. I have never got on with my younger sister, absolutely hated her whilst growing up and spent most of my childhood wishing she didn't exist. There is no guarantee that siblings would be your best friends. So many families I know are torn apart with troublesome siblings - if you look at the amount of personal issues on the subject that often come up you will see that it may have all gone horribly wrong if you had them. Just because someone is a blood relation does not mean that they would get on well with you.

I know loads of only children and all of them are happy to be that way. There are many positives, especially a lot of financial ones. And when it comes to inheritance you will be the sole beneficiary....slightly mercenary thinking on my part there, but still a plus!

Red Alert

I'm an only child and to be honest I wouldn't want it any other way. I think I've a much more open relationship with my folks than I would if I had any other siblings. Some people claim they find only children selfish, though I'm not sure if that means anything.

Fol20

you should start a pole(only for only children).

As a only child,i would have loved to have a brother or sister.