What is she thinking

LegacyUser

Just a quick question, any girls opinions would be specially appreciated.
If a girl says she likes you numerous times, admittedly mostly when after a few drinks but also a number of times while sober and then starts to cut contact, not answering calls texts and gives it the whole i think we need to be friends line and saying she doesn't want a relationship....what the hell??? This is totally out of the blue like, i just dont know what to do, keep trying ? just cut her out ?
this is really wrecking my head cos ive strong feelings for her, she says she wants to be friends but i mean friends answer calls no???

Silverfish

gives it the whole i think we need to be friends line and saying she doesn't want a relationship

She doesn't want a relationship with you. Don't keep trying.

LegacyUser

Have you been chasing her? Does she know you have strong feelings for her?

She may have told you she liked you to be nice to you, so as not to hurt your feelings. YOu may have read too much into things. And now she is pulling back cos she doesn't want to bluntly say NO to you.

Or, she may not know how you feel and might be really embarrassed by her behaviour and what she said and is not trying to backtrack in case she loses you as a friend.

Sometimes, we girls don't know what you are thinking either! :-)

Mixedup

she liked the attention at the start and the flirting, but shes not really into you and now you're annoying her and she's blanking your calls and texts, and no doubt describing you to her friends as that stalker who won't take the hint.

Leave it.

Wibbs

Beyond the ego boost, she may have started off early on in the maybe camp. Is she single a long time? Then when she thought more about it realised it wasn't there. You pursuing her will make her back off more and copperfasten her resolve. Confusing? Yes, if you don't know the signs. Sortable? Defo. Just walk away. She may come sniffing around when you do, but keep in mind why.

dumbblonde122

Cut her loose. She has some sort of feelings for you but doesn't want to act on them. Why is anyone's gues but you're wasting your tine chsing her. Let her come to you if she wants to!

LegacyUser

Leave it. I was with a guy lately who was sound and we got on but he was way too more into it than me, I willing to take it slow but he totally bombarded me and that completely put me off. I'm not saying that you bombarded her, but leave it, if she was interested she would be texting, ringing etc.

VaioCruiser

Unregistered wrote: »

Just a quick question, any girls opinions would be specially appreciated.
If a girl says she likes you numerous times, admittedly mostly when after a few drinks but also a number of times while sober and then starts to cut contact, not answering calls texts and gives it the whole i think we need to be friends line and saying she doesn't want a relationship....what the hell??? This is totally out of the blue like, i just dont know what to do, keep trying ? just cut her out ?
this is really wrecking my head cos ive strong feelings for her, she says she wants to be friends but i mean friends answer calls no???

ehhh no they don't. Clearly you did something to upset her attitude. Whether you know what it is or whose fault it is, we cannot know.

The only possible way back is to a) try to find out what it was b) back off and allow some time to calm things.

Even then the chances are limited. Whether you give up depends on how much you want her.

All the best

Wagon

You were an ego boost. Now you've served your purpose. Sorry bud, but that's just how some people think. Leave it. Save yourself many headaches and tell her to bugger off.

Liam Byrne

Unregistered wrote: »

Leave it. I was with a guy lately who was sound and we got on but he was way too more into it than me, I willing to take it slow but he totally bombarded me and that completely put me off. I'm not saying that you bombarded her, but leave it, if she was interested she would be texting, ringing etc.

One person's bombarded = another person's showing interest. And a million in-betweens....

And therein lies the problem. Hell, I've been on both sides of this and it's a bummer either way....the "4 day rule", etc; if you meet someone you like, why not let them know ?

It mightn't actually mean they're "way more into it than you"; it might just mean that they're interested, reckon you're worth knowing, and looking to see where it might go.

That might be nowhere, or it might be somewhere, but if he's "sound" and "ye got on", why not just say "great - but can you just ease off a little ?" and give it a few meetings-up ?

If it's still "too much", then fair enough, but if not, then happy days......

For the record - to put this reply in context; I was kinda "into" someone lately and would've gladly taken it slow given the chance, coz she seemed gorgeous, sound and we seemed to have lots in common; well worth sticking my neck out - but between us we screwed up the chance, somehow.....


Yeah, it was a stranger and it could've gone nowhere so it shouldn't bug me, but it does.....

Maybe that's colouring my reply, but TBH I could easily have replied "don't - under any circumstances - still your neck out, it'll backfire".....

But life's short, and if you click "enough" then go for it; what's the worst that could happen ?

All that said, this is different to the OP's issue; because in that case she's given him the "let's be friends" line.....