Why stuck on him?

LegacyUser

feel stupid posting this, its not like im a teenager, im 30 years old....

basically, had a crap relationship a while ago, and after i got out of it, i had no interest in men, had no sex drive whatsoever.

this went on for over a year, and it didnt really bother me, i was happy to be getting my head straight again

last january (18 months after previous relationship ended) i ended up in bed with a guy i know through work (i dont work directly with him, but we would meet at regional meetings)

it was a great night and i was delighted to get back in the saddle, so to speak

i heard nothing from him afterwards, which annoyed me a bit

then, in april of this year, i started meeting up with another guy (who ive known for 2 years) for sex, basically a f**k buddy - we meet on a monthly basis approx, as we live too far apart for it to be feasible to meet more regularly. thats fine, its great and im happy with that situstion

but in may, i met the guy from jan again, and ended up in bed with him again.

i cant get him out of my head.
i mean, every night i go to bed, i think about him when im trying to sleep, its a comforting thought for me.

hes on my mind a lot.

its not that i want to go out with him per se, but id like to be sleeping with him more regularly

i realise this may make me sould slapperish- but in the space of 24 hours this last week i slept with two guys - the FB and my ex-bf (not the dodgy one, the one before him), and neither of them are going round in my head, its the third guy that im thinking of.
(before anyone accuses me of being slutty, i just want to point out that i have slept with a total of 5 people in my life, and im 30 years old)

if this guy wanted anything else form me, he;d have made it known, so i guess theres no point me saying anything to him.

pity.
i dont know what my question is - maybe how od i move on and stop wrecking my head thinking about him?

any insight would be appreciated

LegacyUser

sgirl wrote: »

feel stupid posting this, its not like im a teenager, im 30 years old....

basically, had a crap relationship a while ago, and after i got out of it, i had no interest in men, had no sex drive whatsoever.

this went on for over a year, and it didnt really bother me, i was happy to be getting my head straight again

last january (18 months after previous relationship ended) i ended up in bed with a guy i know through work (i dont work directly with him, but we would meet at regional meetings)

it was a great night and i was delighted to get back in the saddle, so to speak

i heard nothing from him afterwards, which annoyed me a bit

then, in april of this year, i started meeting up with another guy (who ive known for 2 years) for sex, basically a f**k buddy - we meet on a monthly basis approx, as we live too far apart for it to be feasible to meet more regularly. thats fine, its great and im happy with that situstion

but in may, i met the guy from jan again, and ended up in bed with him again.

i cant get him out of my head.
i mean, every night i go to bed, i think about him when im trying to sleep, its a comforting thought for me.

hes on my mind a lot.

its not that i want to go out with him per se, but id like to be sleeping with him more regularly

i realise this may make me sould slapperish- but in the space of 24 hours this last week i slept with two guys - the FB and my ex-bf (not the dodgy one, the one before him), and neither of them are going round in my head, its the third guy that im thinking of.
(before anyone accuses me of being slutty, i just want to point out that i have slept with a total of 5 people in my life, and im 30 years old)

if this guy wanted anything else form me, he;d have made it known, so i guess theres no point me saying anything to him.

pity.
i dont know what my question is - maybe how od i move on and stop wrecking my head thinking about him?

any insight would be appreciated

Firstly, let me say I feel jealous of you in that you have so much sex!

Anyhow, if you enjoy sex so much with that guy and keep thinking about him then why don't you get in touch with him to have more sex with him?

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

Firstly, let me say I feel jealous of you in that you have so much sex!

Anyhow, if you enjoy sex so much with that guy and keep thinking about him then why don't you get in touch with him to have more sex with him?

because we've had sex twice in teh last 7 months - if he wanted anything more he'd have contacted me, surely?

he's senior to me in our company so i dont really want to go chasing him either, i feel the impetus ahs to come from him.

LegacyUser

Are you sure you dont want anything more than sex with him as it seems to be a bit more than that to me. Also do you know anything about this guy - could he be married & that's why he's only available so seldom?

LegacyUser

well, i should add something here

this guy is married

i know that doesnt reflect well on me or him, but thats the situation.

i wonder do i just want him because i cant have him??

LegacyUser

i know it s wrong, i know that.

but the sex is mind blowing - easily teh best sex ive ever had

and i like this guy

i know its wrong

shellyboo

Ok.

He's senior in your company, so if anything goes wrong... who knows. You're endangering your career.

He's married.

He clearly has no interest in you apart from the occasional avaailable shag.

He didn't contact you after having sex.

He's married.

He's married.

He's married.


Honestly, OP, you know what to do. Leave it. Move on. If it's just hot sex you're after, there are plenty of men out there willing and able to provide it. Men without wives. You will forget him in time.

LegacyUser

Firstly hope you are taking precautions with these guys.

Secondly, I think you should run a mile from this guy, he's married. I can't understand women who sleep with married men. Personally i think there should be an automatic code amongst women not to do this.

Chances are he has a "happy" family life and his wife is blissfully ignorant of his cheating. Women like you make it easy for assholes like him. Readily available to him whenever he feels like it.

Why not hold out for a guy who is available....and a bit more trustworthy!!

LegacyUser

i know you guys are right

good point sunflower - maybe a more experienced girl would think he was crap in bed!

i need to put him out of my head, its just hard doing that

i mean, as i said earlier, i slept with two guys in 24 hrs this week, and yet that night he was teh one i was thinking of.

PK2008

Yeh sounds like the 'forbidden fruit' angle

Eve_Dublin

OP....seriously woman!! What are you doing??? Get a grip of yourself! Your only excuse for sleeping with a MARRIED man is because the sex is mind-blowing and not even that you have feelings for him. That's not good enough I'm afraid. You're 30 not some naive teenager. You really should have more sense and as you were in a relationship yourself, a bit more empathy for the wife of this guy.

The guy is clearly an absolute sleazebag so try your best and concentrate on this massive character flaw instead of the great sex. Put yourself in his wife's shoes...think about the kids...I'm not saying you're responsible for destroying this family, he's doing an admirable job of that on his own but your most definitely an accessory to the crime if you continue with this. Could you live with yourself knowing that all for a bit of meaningless, cold sex? Do you not have more respect for yourself? Is this all you think you deserve?? I doubt that.

Listen, this man is not the only man you can have mind-blowing sex with...believe me. You're young, free and single so forget this guy and find someone with no baggage.