The Terrible film reviews Thread

Pop's Diner

In the light of the Daily Mail Antichrist review I was thinking it might be fun to create a thread linking to terribly reviewed films. eg ones where it's clear the writer doesn't care, hasn't even watched the movie, or hasn't done the research or generally doesn't know what he's talking about.

Here's my offering : Peter Bradshaws Review of Star Wars Episode 3 (for the Guardian).

Here's a sample extract

Bradshaw wrote:

But that is not how Lucas's solemnly high-flown script chooses to refer to them. With sub-Shakespearian gravitas, McGregor intones: "Not even the younglings survived." I'm sorry, not even the what? Is that their surname or something? Are Mr and Mrs Youngling going to come home to find a nursery bloodbath?

Note it was clearly explained in the preceding movie what Younglings were.

BlitzKrieg

Note it was clearly explained in the preceding movie what Younglings were.

still an awful piece of dialogue from an awful piece of sh*t film.

fartmaster

I just read that review on the star wars pre films and to honest its a great review IMHO the prequels were terrible long, boring and didnt offer anything new to the viewer of the origional star wars flicks

BlitzKrieg

just to be sort of on topic.

reviews I hate are the ones that openly point out that a film has loads of flaws, technically broken, badly acted, awful script etc etc.

But then say *but its fun*


so 8/10.


noooooo

if you are going to bother with numbers then accept that a crap film that's good fun is at most an average film so 4-6/10 makes more sense.


A number of people who post on film reviews will know this is a personal pet hate of mine.

MikeC101

I'd consider most of the film reviews in Empire that feature the ever so slightly suspicious "Exclusive Review - High Rating" system at work to be bad.

Though I haven't bought Empire in ages, it's always seemed that when they get a first, or exclusive on a movie, it invariably gets 4 stars or higher.

monkeyfudge

Pop's Diner wrote: »

Note it was clearly explained in the preceding movie what Younglings were.

He knows it's not a surname. If he thought that he wouldn't have put with a lowercase 'y' in the quoted dialogue.

He's pointing out how stupid the word is... particulrly when delivered in that style.

goingpostal

The worst reviews are the ones which give away the ending of a film or give away a very important plot point or twist or event within the film. Peter Bradshaw is repeatedly guilty of this. I don't mind a reviewer giving a film a good kicking but i hate it when they ruin the story for me before i see it, regardless of how bad it is.

purple_hatstand

Decent reviews of 'Star Wars' prequels make me sick!:D:P

Anyway, a cursory google of "daily", "mail" and "antichrist" is a great idea if you're in the mood for some comedy...and I was rewarded with this gem - enjoy!

ashman007

3 great movies to be added to the terrible movies list



Daredevil----Oh how pathetic


Quantam of Solace and Casino Royale

---

Sorry Daniel but you are not a bond and you have made a laughing stock of the bond franchise. Bond movies are fun thrill rides with wit gadgets etc you possess none and its nowonder people walked out of the cinema. Poor bond movies

ashman007

ashman007 wrote: »

3 great movies to be added to the terrible movies list



Daredevil----Oh how pathetic


Quantam of Solace and Casino Royale

---

Sorry Daniel but you are not a bond and you have made a laughing stock of the bond franchise. Bond movies are fun thrill rides with wit gadgets etc you possess none and its nowonder people walked out of the cinema. Poor bond movies

It's terrible reviews of films not terrible films. Plus you're wrong on all 3 counts.

Daredevil is a very entertaining film and the directors cut is a fantastic film.

As for the Bond films, Casino Royale is brilliant and easily the best Bond film of them all. Quantum is a bit meh but if watched back to back with Casino it's far more interesting. I never saw or heard of people walking out of either Bond film so I think you're talking crap.

Handsome Bob

What I have no time for is a critic being critical for the sake of it just because he can't bring himself to be honest and write a totally positive review. For example, I have come across a common criticism of The Dark Knight that the "dialogue is too perfect." I mean what is that? What would you prefer, lame/needless/cringeworthy dialogue?

LZ5by5

LZ5by5 wrote: »

What I have no time for is a critic being critical for the sake of it just because he can't bring himself to be honest and write a totally positive review. For example, I have come across a common criticism of The Dark Knight that the "dialogue is too perfect." I mean what is that? What would you prefer, lame/needless/cringeworthy dialogue?

They have a genuine complaint though, where were all the fantastic puns we grew to love. At no stage did anyone say something along the lines of "Adam and Evil" or "Ice to meet you". I for one was most disappointed.

Handsome Bob

Deleted User wrote: »

They have a genuine complaint though, where were all the fantastic puns we grew to love. At no stage did anyone say something along the lines of "Adam and Evil" or "Ice to meet you". I for one was most disappointed.

Oh man, I don't think anyone had decent dialogue in B&R. The Bat credit card? Give me a break Joel!

What about the butler's speech in Spider-Man 3? He waited until Harry lost and alienated his friends and half his face until he finally told him the truth about his father. Damn TDK's perfect dialogue compared to that! :pac:

LZ5by5

LZ5by5 wrote: »

Oh man, I don't think anyone had decent dialogue in B&R. The Bat credit card? Give me a break Joel!

What about the butler's speech in Spider-Man 3? He waited until Harry lost and alienated his friends and half his face until he finally told him the truth about his father. Damn TDK's perfect dialogue compared to that! :pac:

Say what you want about Schumacer at least he apologised.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6epsGrcuTs

This is the man who ruined Batman.



Akiva Goldsman

Diogenes

Deleted User wrote: »

Say what you want about Schumacer at least he apologised.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6epsGrcuTs

This is the man who ruined Batman.



Akiva Goldsman

Bollocks as director he has to take responsible to fact that he was inflicted some of the worst films in the world.*


*The lost boys being notable exception, but it's hardly Citizen Kane.

krudler

Joel Schumacher has had a strangely mixed bag of a career, he's made from the awful (B&R, Veronica Guerin) to the average (Flatliners, The Client) to the excellent (Falling Down, Phone Booth, A Time To Kill)

Diogenes

Diogenes wrote: »

Bollocks as director he has to take responsible to fact that he was inflicted some of the worst films in the world.*


*The lost boys being notable exception, but it's hardly Citizen Kane.

It's a well known fact that Batman and Robin was constantly changed by the studio so as to incorporate more merchandising and product placement. I don't blame Schumacer for that, he has given us some fantastic films and some terrible ones but then again very few prolific directors have a perfect CV. Spielberg has some made some dreadful films. Give Schumacer a good script and the man delivers, give him a dreadful script and he doesn't. No director could have made a decent film from the trash that was the Batman and Robin script.