Keep being rejected

LegacyUser

i was with a guy for a few years - he broke up with me. however, i wanted to get back with him and he didnt. i didnt get the message and i kept going ba ckfor more rejection after rejection. why do i do this? how can i stop?

Sephiroth_dude

Delete his number,dont contact him,if he contacts you dont reply,keep urself busy and go out and try meet someone new.

legend365

Hey, how you doin?

Exactly. Find someone else to keep your mind occupied.

In saying that though, make sure its as friends only. You dont want a rebound relationship.

LegacyUser

op here - the reason he broke up with me is because he thought i didnt love him. but i did. but something in him didnt seem to believe i loved him. maybe it was an excuse. an easy way out to put the blame on me. i dont know. and never will i guess. ive tried keeping busy and im doing good - but then when the thoughts of him come back into my head of him being with other people - its torture

VaioCruiser

Hi OP - to answer your actual question on why ...

I would suggest to you that the reason we keep trying to repair a broken relationship is generally out of a sense of loss of something precious to us - not dissimilar to a death. We then feel a huge fear of the unknown out there, the fear of heading out into the world of finding another partner.

Some it is an issue of the devil we know, rather than the devil we don't know. Yes we suffer rejection, but a rejection we are familiar with, rather than an unknown severity of rejection from someone else.

Sometimes becoming familiar with the reason for our behaviour helps us to tackle it and get past it.

I wish you all the best.

LegacyUser

Unregistered wrote: »

op here - the reason he broke up with me is because he thought i didnt love him. but i did. but something in him didnt seem to believe i loved him. maybe it was an excuse. an easy way out to put the blame on me. i dont know. and never will i guess. ive tried keeping busy and im doing good - but then when the thoughts of him come back into my head of him being with other people - its torture

sounds like the shock of losing him has pushed you into some half-self-realisation about something. apart from the fact that you miss him, you are also trying to complete that self-realisation i suspect

LegacyUser

sunflower - i suppose i didnt spend much time with him or make an effort, so i suppose he was right to dump me if he thought i didnt love him. he said he wants someone that loved him for who he was and he felt i was with him just for the sake of it. but i did love him - i had alot of personal issues that i was dealing with at the time also. i suppose what im trying to know is how do i get over the love of my life? i know to keep busy, meet other people etc. but its still not working and i know its corny but my heart still aches when i think of him

Zirconia

There's not a lot of detail there OP, but it sounds like you hurt the guy if he thought you didn't love him? Do you think you pushed him away in your behaviour? Are you sure you do love him, or do you want to just get over him? It kinda seems like you just don't want to give him up.

If you do still love him really, it might be worth one more try - just say what you said here and show him you understand why he might have thought you didn't love him, but you really do.

But I'm afraid if that dosen't work, it may just be too late.

dlofnep

Get over him. move on. There are billions of people on this planet. No one single person is that special.

LegacyUser

ive told him all of this - trust me. and it is too late for us now. i need to get over him and it is so hard.

Zirconia

Unregistered wrote: »

ive told him all of this - trust me. and it is too late for us now. i need to get over him and it is so hard.

Well, I guess you should find some way to keep your social life busy. But while you feel that way about your ex, be carefull not to get into a romantic relationship with someone, or you'll end up hurting them. When you no longer ache when you think of him you can open up to having a serious relationship; time will heal - it dosen't seem like that now, but it will. Best of luck OP.

Lucyx

Hi OP

I know its so awful but you mustn't think too much about the future right now. Thats what made me so sad when I split from my ex. Whenever I thought of my future without him, it killed me. So I just took it a few hours at a time and that way its that bit easier to get through the days.

Also you have to keep some self respect in tact. Don't do anything that you'll cringe about in a few months time eg calling to his home, place of work, lots of calls or texts etc

He seems like he was putting the blame of the break up on you and thats very cowardly so feck him. Look after yourself now. Expect it to take a few months at least before you start feeling better. Take care x

ladylouise

i keep getting rejected too.by every single i ever liked.the guys who rejected me always finds girlfriend and me the rejected gets left on my own.which is really unfair
i am 30 years i never had my first boyfriend even i don,t even know to kiss.guys know how to French kiss i don,t know first thing about French kissing.no guy every kissed me or even wanted to.or be seen with me out side any thing.

LegacyUser

I can't explain rejection only that maybe he doesn't have the same feelings for you as you do for him...however, there's nothing wrong with you for going back to him again and again and again, it's a sign that you have strong desires for him. The reason you go back is due to a chemical in your brain called dopamine. This chemical triggers desire and it's what causes the butterflies in the tummy when two people are in love, it's a nasty little thing to have triggered if only one of you is in love.
Going off topic for a moment, dopamine is the same chemical which causes addiction, such as smoking. Therefore, it essence you're a little addicted to this guy so the best advice you've received above is to delete his number and go cold turkey for a while!!

ladylouise

but rejected all the time by every single guy.seems a bit strange.it very stranger odds.
like 50/50 not 100/100 impossible odds.its not fair why it always happen me to me all.
i have no scientific explanation to cause of rejection 100/100 it does,t make sence but 100/100 .and yet the who rejected me never ever get rejected themselves its very unfair.
don,t i deserve to be love too???.its just not fair

Silverfish

ladylouise, if you want to start a thread here please do so, but I'm going to have to ask you to stop hijacking other people's threads.

Thank you.