Online dating not going good for me

LegacyUser

I'm female, in my mid - late 20's and have been giving online dating a go for the past few months.

Would like advice on a sitution.

Got chatting to a guy a few months ago. He's from the same county as me. Messaging each other online went well. Due to the two of us being busy at work messaging was only really once or twice a week but they would have been long messages. Eventually swapped numbers. Texts messaging was the same - once or twice a week. Due to the two of us being busy at work, and also having a lot to do when we're not working arranging a meet up wasn't easy but we eventually got around to it. And it went well. Nervewrecking but it went ok. That was four weeks ago.

Since then though I don't know what to make of him really. After meeting up we talked about meeting up again but it hasn't happened. I texted him a few days after meeting up asking him out and he said that he was busy working that particular night. I wrote to him saying thats alright and maybe another time. Messaging has been going ok since meeting up, but to be honest he's making no effort at trying to meet up again. He's always working (he did warn me that he works long hours). He hasn't mentioned meeting again.

He was a gentleman when we met. He was so nice. I found him attractive and all. He was lovely. But i'm so fed up with him now. I'm not interested in leaving it weeks and weeks in between meeting up. Don't know what to do.

He's the third guy I met online and the other two were messers. I've been so honest with these guys.

z0oT

I would say to have a good chat with him over the phone (ideally face to face if possible) if you can about this and depending on what sort of reception you get, you might want to consider moving on, if there's no interest or motivation to meet up again that alone should tell you something.
The beauty of the online scene is that if someone doesn't work out you can just try the next person.

shellyboo

Ask him: Would you like to meet up again?

He will say yes, or no. If he says yes, say "When?". He will give you a time or date that suits him. If he doesn't pin down a specific time or date, move on, he's not interested.

LegacyUser

lady.online wrote: »

I'm female, in my mid - late 20's and have been giving online dating a go for the past few months.

Would like advice on a sitution.

Got chatting to a guy a few months ago. He's from the same county as me. Messaging each other online went well. Due to the two of us being busy at work messaging was only really once or twice a week but they would have been long messages. Eventually swapped numbers. Texts messaging was the same - once or twice a week. Due to the two of us being busy at work, and also having a lot to do when we're not working arranging a meet up wasn't easy but we eventually got around to it. And it went well. Nervewrecking but it went ok. That was four weeks ago.

Since then though I don't know what to make of him really. After meeting up we talked about meeting up again but it hasn't happened. I texted him a few days after meeting up asking him out and he said that he was busy working that particular night. I wrote to him saying thats alright and maybe another time. Messaging has been going ok since meeting up, but to be honest he's making no effort at trying to meet up again. He's always working (he did warn me that he works long hours). He hasn't mentioned meeting again.

He was a gentleman when we met. He was so nice. I found him attractive and all. He was lovely. But i'm so fed up with him now. I'm not interested in leaving it weeks and weeks in between meeting up. Don't know what to do.

He's the third guy I met online and the other two were messers. I've been so honest with these guys.

Theres no easy way to say this but I think he's not interested in taking the relationship any further. I could be wrong but honestly, if he was interested, he'd have asked you out again. And unfortunately he probably hasnt got the courage to be straight with you and tell you he's not interested. I know this sounds harsh and like I said I could be wrong, there could be a legimate reason why he hasnt asked you out again. The only thing you can do is let go and take a step back. If it turns out he really is interested then he'll make an effort and come to you. Youve done your bit already so back off a little and see what happens

VaioCruiser

Hi OP.

With online dating - you find someone you think might be interesting (or they message you) - you email them... you don't waste both of your time with all this texting rubbish, you just MEET for coffee and see what happens. If it works then you see each other again within a week. If the other party doesn't respond then you sail on to the next one. That is how it works and has to work. You can't let yourself get hooked up on people who don't really want to hook up with you

All the best

Hyndsy85

I sorta agree with vaiocruiser. You have to meet the person relatively early to give it a chance to work.

I was in a similar position to you OP. Talking to a girl (online/texting) for a few months before we met up and when we did it was a bit awkward. we knew each other well but we were uncomfortable around each other because we were basically 2 strangers meeting who already knew alot about each other.

VaioCruiser

Hyndsy85 wrote: »

I sorta agree with vaiocruiser. You have to meet the person relatively early to give it a chance to work.

I was in a similar position to you OP. Talking to a girl (online/texting) for a few months before we met up and when we did it was a bit awkward. we knew each other well but we were uncomfortable around each other because we were basically 2 strangers meeting who already knew alot about each other.

Indeed - also we are human and chemistry is everything. It is really awkward and a HUGE waste of everyone's time when you eventually meet and .... nothing is felt at all ... not emotion, no chemistry ...

MadgeBadge

He messing you around. I know, it's mad. I found it hard to believe you even get messed around by folk online!

If he was that into you he would meet up with you. It's crap. He's crap. Move on.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

Hey,
It sounds like that guy is not interested to be honest. I wouldn't lose heart though. I met my girlfriend of 3 years (hopefully soon to be fiance) online. The first time we met we hit it off straight away and it just went on from there.
Best of luck!!!

madmac187

Anyone think its about time a dating kinda forum should be set up. People give their info and if anyone interested then they email each other. I think it's an idea. What does everyone think?? People on boards seem to be nicer than online dating sites.

Undertow

madmac187 wrote: »

Anyone think its about time a dating kinda forum should be set up. People give their info and if anyone interested then they email each other. I think it's an idea. What does everyone think?? People on boards seem to be nicer than online dating sites.

x2!

Silverfish

If you wish to make a suggestion for a forum, please post it here.

Please do not take this thread any further off-topic, thank you.