My New Short Film.

fergisimo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B97LV4yfw5A

Any feedback is appreciated! Thanks very much, guys,

Fergus.

BlitzKrieg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B97LV4yfw5A

just to make it easier for everyone


some quick feedback:

Overall its nice but onn the editing side of things it helps alot to cut on the actions rather then before them, it makes it feel alot more natural.

just a few quick examples:

at 0.31 the tracking shot, it is clear both from the camera movement and the character the neither were moving before this shot, it would be smoother if you faded into this shot when both are in full stride, makes the camera less noticeable and the character more natural.

at 2.00 this is a good cut because its on the action he is already in the process of lighting a match when the image cuts to it so the viewers eye is drawn to the motion rather then the cut.

the 2.23 shot though would suit being tighter, cut when his arm is already swinging to hit the paper. that way the viewers eye is on the action of the paper being knocked away rather then the uncomfortable change in angle from the prior shot

at 4.02 again the movement is stagnated and clearly staged because we have the cut before the action, it is better to cut while he is already in motion, dont worry the viewers brain fills in the missing actions without a mere thought, you should only show a full action if its to create a specific atmosphere, for example your earlier shot where he takes a drag of a cigeratte and takes it out of his mouth, that works because you see the full movement within the single frame, it adds a heavy atmosphere, but here it doesnt because the action is meant to be fast and specific rather then aimless and stagnant. Cut it to the later point of when he is bending the sheet over.

the cut 5:44 might also suit a tighter cut, cut it on the gunshot and blood. Though that would be more debatable on taste, as the complete reverse shot is naturally uncomfortable because it flips the prior shot completely and takes the mind a moment to settle on this. ITs effective, but it would probably be more effective if it happened on the gunshot rather then a few seconds before it.

for the credits/gun i recommand cutting the one that fades in and out before the first credit, go to credits after the blood spatter and then cut back to the gun (not fade) like you did for all the other credits and fade out on the last one maybe.

It works better with the typing credits.

fergisimo

Thanks very much for your Feedback! I greatly appreciate it.

As I said it's my first Film, so although it's obviously got some flaws, I'm quite proud of it, none the less. After repeat viewings, I can definitely see what you mean by polishing the editing a little bit!

Back to the Mac with this one!

Fergus.