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LDR but started to like someone else

  • 29-07-2009 7:59am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm in a long distance relationship. I thought I loved my boyfriend. Recently a male friend who I'm close to and lives nearby told me he had feelings for me. If I was single, he is exactly the type of person I would go for. I am attracted to him but I would never cheat. I don't know what to do. I think if I was living closer to my boyfriend I would never even think of anyone else. I'm very confused as to whether this is normal or if it means my relationship is wrong. I see my boyfriend about once every 4/5 weeks but we see each other on Skype most days.


Comments

  • #2
    JMcCR
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭JMcCR


    Sorry to sound harsh but how do you manage an ongoing relationship if you only see your bf every 4-5 weeks? Is this a longterm thing or is he just away for a while? If it's long term I think you'll be attracted to other (more local) guys as you may be missing physical closeness of being with someone.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    JMcCR wrote: »
    Sorry to sound harsh but how do you manage an ongoing relationship if you only see your bf every 4-5 weeks? Is this a longterm thing or is he just away for a while? If it's long term I think you'll be attracted to other (more local) guys as you may be missing physical closeness of being with someone.

    It hasn't always been long distance. Due to studies/work it has become that. We manage it as we fell in love. We speak every day (I never did that with anyone in past relationships). Over skype you can see the person. It's just very difficult not being able to be physically close. I don't want to break up over this. I just want to find a way of being friends with my friend and not being too attracted to him. Hmm.


  • #4
    shellyboo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,883 ✭✭✭shellyboo


    confusedJuly wrote: »
    I just want to find a way of being friends with my friend and not being too attracted to him. Hmm.


    No such thing. You cannot just stop being attracted to someone. You can, however stop being friends with somone. That's really your only option.


  • #5
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,113 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Either stop seeing the friend or choose him over your bf. If you choose to go for a new guy... break up before persuing anything, even a kiss with the other guy. No need to break somebodies heart more than you have to, or his trust. It's normal to be attracted to other people, some girls really don't think this and question, oooh do I love him, if they are interested in another man in any way. Attraction is different than love, I wouldn't take it as a sign that you don't love him, especially as you are in a long distance relationship. I thought it was much easier to notice somebody and be tempted over long distance, you don't have your bf there to remind you how much you love him and may do something you regret. Only question you need to think about is do you love your boyfriend?


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