Holiday cheater

LegacyUser

Hi

My boyfriend went on a lads holiday at the start of the summer. I found out by a slip up by his friend that he kissed another girl. Feeling quite betrayed that he didn't confess to me when I asked him after he came back from the holiday if he kissed anyone. My head is a bit messed up now, should I break up with him? If he did it once and got away with it, is he more likely to do it again?

Does anyone have some insight behind this?

Thanks in advance

Yddil

unless you two are together a long time, i don't think he's worth the trouble.
Its true that it was probably a drunken mistake, but i wouldn't wait around to find out...

Terodil

Only you can answer that one, OP.

People have different standards, some will say 'that's graaaaand, just a drunken snog, don't be so insecure/controlling/...', some others will say 'dump him, get out of there fast'. Ultimately you have weigh your feelings for him against what he did and did not do, and ask yourself if you can forgive him and trust him again.

If the answer is no, then you should get rid of him.

If the answer is yes, you'll need a very serious discussion to rebuild the relationship from scratch.

P.S. For me, cheating AND lying to me would be a definite killer. But that's just me.

LegacyUser

It all depends on how trustworthy you think he is. An ex of mine cheated on me and continued to do so, while my friend's boyfriend kissed someone else on a lads weekend away (she dumped him and he begged forgiveness and didn't stray again) and years later they are very happily married. You will have to weigh it up yourself, taking into account how serious your relationship was at the time he cheated. If you weren't together long then maybe he didn't think it was a big deal, but if you are in a long term relationship then I wouldn't let it go.

Taltos

I am just wondering if this friend either fancies you, fancies him or is jealous of you.

If you can defo say no to all those then you need to deal with a cheater.
if you think maybe to any of the above then you need to have a frank chat with your BF to see what the hell happened - cause from below it is unclear if you have actually talked to the chap about this....

jy

let it slip, what a nice friend. Are you sure it happened? the bro code would never allow for that one

I say confront him, see what he says, say to him that you are giving him one last chance to come clean, she what he says

Chocoholic84

I don't believe there is ever any circumstance where cheating is ok. If you're in a happy relationship, there's no reason to cheat.

OP, it all depends on what your tolerance levels are and if you think you can forgive him for it. Me personally, it'd be a deal-breaker - I'd never be able to trust him again, and if we did stay together, it would more than likely be thrown back in his face any time we had a row.

No way to have a relationship.

Naive girl wrote: »

Hi


Feeling quite betrayed that he didn't confess to me when I asked him after he came back from the holiday if he kissed anyone.

OK, this really sets alarm bells ringing for me. If you are in a happy, trusting relationship, I don't see why you'd need to ask him if he had kissed anyone while he was away?

I'd have a good hard think about this and where it's going, OP...

LegacyUser

Hi OP..

Find it weird that the friend slipped up,, boys ususally dont to this,, however there is always that one fella that says to much and gives something away...

I dont think its just as black and white as to dump him, you need to have a good think about what YOU want, did you trust him before he went on holiday, and more importantly do you think that he would do it again,,, you will have to really sit down and talk to him and see what he has to say,, guys on lads holidays are more likely to slip up then than anywhere or anytime else,,

Tar.Aldarion

The lying would be worse than the cheating for me, although not taking away from how bad the cheating is. If someboyy cheats and convinces you they are dorry and won't again then I may forgive them in time but I wuld have difficulty with the lying. It's all about trust, if your trust is shattered it's hard to come back from. It's up to you, have a chat with him and see how it goes, if the relationship is a few years it might be worth more to work on it.

finbarrk

I don't think too many lads would have confessed to their girlfriends that they kissed another girl while on holidays.
It's suspicious how the other fella let it slip. Sounds like ye are young because it wouldn't have come out from a fella with a bit of mileage on his clock.

Rb

Why would you ask if he kissed someone? Were you expecting him to?

How long have you been going out?