Moving in with girlfriend for first time...Any advice?

LegacyUser

As the title suggests, I'm about to move in with my girlfriend. Anyone got any advice?

Not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for, but basically it's the first girlfriend I've felt that I've wanted to live with as we pretty much spend all week together as it is. We've been together for 18 months and both in our mid twenties.

We've never really talked about marriage or kids seriously, just the usual off the cuff remarks about other people married with kids etc.

Good or bad thing do you think? Goes without saying its different for different people etc but just wondering if anyone could share some idea's to make things go swimmingly.

kayos

Put the toilet seat down... after that your on your own!

George Carbery

Unregistered wrote: »

As the title suggests, I'm about to move in with my girlfriend. Anyone got any advice?

Not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for, but basically it's the first girlfriend I've felt that I've wanted to live with as we pretty much spend all week together as it is. We've been together for 18 months and both in our mid twenties.

We've never really talked about marriage or kids seriously, just the usual off the cuff remarks about other people married with kids etc.

Good or bad thing do you think? Goes without saying its different for different people etc but just wondering if anyone could share some idea's to make things go swimmingly.

You know the old saying ! Come live with me ..to know me.
Good luck mate ... hope it works out

PinkTulips

be prepared to fight like cat and dog... you'll both have very differant ways of doing things and there will be teething problems.

the most important thing to remember is that fighting doesn't mean it won't work... my boyfriend and i had all out warfare for a good part of our first year living together but we stuck it out and reached compromises on the issues we fought about and now we've been living together 7 years and have 3 kids

we still fight but usually only an occasional blowup as we're tired and irritable and we're very practiced at making up these days

beertons

Just make sure you have a hobby that you do yourself, and she has hers. That's your free time, and it's very important. You'll see what it means after the first month. Best of luck!

shellyboo

I'd day, for general peace of mind, make a pact with her - if something is annoying either of you, however small, that you mention it. And that when that happens, the other person will listen and take it on board.

This could be as small as leaving the remote in the wrong place to bigger things like not paying bills on time, or whatever. Promising to always air the small things means they don't fester and eat away at the real basis of the relationship.

Oh The Humanity

Hygiene, pick up after yourself on the same day.

Allow her privacy, see she allows you yours too.

Split the housework, bills etc 50/50

Don't assume anything is understood by default.

Negotiate and agree on things.

petersmyname

shellyboo wrote: »

I'd day, for general peace of mind, make a pact with her - if something is annoying either of you, however small, that you mention it. And that when that happens, the other person will listen and take it on board.

This could be as small as leaving the remote in the wrong place to bigger things like not paying bills on time, or whatever. Promising to always air the small things means they don't fester and eat away at the real basis of the relationship.

This person knows what they are talking about!

I moved in with my girlfriend a year ago last week and I have never regreted it. She is an awesome cook! (joke)

The most important thing to do is talk. You will have plenty of arguments in the first year but this is all part of getting used to living with each other.
You are bound to have doubts, I had plenty but now I could never go back!

Rej

beertons wrote: »

Just make sure you have a hobby that you do yourself, and she has hers. That's your free time, and it's very important. You'll see what it means after the first month. Best of luck!

+1

Also if at all possible move into a 2-bed.. Saves fighting over wardrobe space.. and tripping over shoes and stuff.

Apart from I'd recommend that ye still go on dates.. its easy to stop bothering when you see someone all of the time

jasonb

I have to say, all of the advice here is excellent. I've lived with my girlfriend ( now wife ) for over 3 years. Be considerate, talk to each other, and make time to do your own things on your own. Basically, what everyone else has been saying! Enjoy it, it's great!

J.

redapple

Also I would suggest finding time to do things together, out of the apartment. Or if you are going to stay in on a 'date' so to speak, make an effort.

I found with my ex it got to the stage where we werent really finding anytime for eachother and he assumed as we both happened to be in on certain nights during the week that meant that was our time together. But we would have been doing laundry, cleaning, making a quick dinner and tv and it wasnt quality time at all. I guess I am saying is dont take eachother for granted.

deise48

good luck to you i wish you and your partner the best off luck the only piece of advice i would give is too keep being yourself

rustynutz

As mentioned above be prepared for world war 3 i year 1,after that you should be grand!

Silverfish

rustynutz wrote: »

As mentioned above be prepared for world war 3 i year 1,after that you should be grand!

Joking aside, this is true. It takes a long time to adjust to someone who's there all the time, and who does things completely differently to you, and who would have different routines. Normally the arguments are over money, cleaning, and boredom. Sort those out straight away.

Its the best way of finding out if ye're suited long term, as the saying goes - 'If you want to know me, come live with me'.

Rebelheart

Unregistered wrote: »

As the title suggests, I'm about to move in with my girlfriend. Anyone got any advice?

Not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for, but basically it's the first girlfriend I've felt that I've wanted to live with as we pretty much spend all week together as it is. We've been together for 18 months and both in our mid twenties.

We've never really talked about marriage or kids seriously, just the usual off the cuff remarks about other people married with kids etc.

Good or bad thing do you think? Goes without saying its different for different people etc but just wondering if anyone could share some idea's to make things go swimmingly.

Great sex is not the same thing as great love. Be careful what you wish for, and try and avoid saying things just to get some of that great sex. The heart is a delicate things, words are remembered long after they have served their immediate purpose.

Be honourable, always.

Daisy D

Say yes dear to everything....and remember, women are always right...

greenman09

Daisy D wrote: »

Say yes dear to everything....and remember, women are always right...

100per cent true.

Wheeloflight

Remember to keep your own space, your own hobbies, interests etc. Keep your identity no matter what. It is possible to be in a relationship and live together and still be two sharply defined people.
Do things around the house equally. Make time to see friends, the love nest honeymoon can be a bit suffocating after a time so it is important to keep meeting up with your friends and not lock yourself away.

Good luck buddy!!

Coffee Addict

Be open & honest & do not take each other for granted.....remember why you wanted to move in together in the first place.....

nicolo

Make an effort to keep your dirty habits out of her face (things like leaving dirty clothes on the ground, shaved hair in teh sink ya knwo the type) try and keep the dishes done and don't beocme overly familiar. I know that sounds obvious but once you're girlfriend has seen you use the toilet its onto a whole other level of familiarty breeds contempt

LegacyUser

The gf and I used to spend weekends together while I was studying. Having spent several years worth of weekends together we moved in with each other last year and I didn't even notice it tbh. Looking back I can't honestly remember what it was like NOT living together, the comfort level we developed over those short stays made the bigger step barely noticed.

We get ratty every now and then, biggest thing to remember there is to take a step back and realize what you are getting heated over probably doesn't matter and the neighbors really don't want to hear it. Hug and compromise and it's sorted, no more drama.