I want to quite drinking

Vampireskiss

I am 31 and I think I may be an alcoholic so I am coming on here looking for help. I am not entirely oposed to going to AA but I would prefer a different option.

My situation is this ,every friday and saturday I binge drink on my own on beer and bottles of wine.The sad thing is I am drinking on my own as I do not have very many friends.

I have the oppourtunity to go out sometimes but I tend to avoid it as im unhappy with my appearance so I dont really enjoy it.

I was intending to go to AA today but im having cold feet as I dont know what to expect

colrow

Well, if you think you have a problem, why not have a chat with your GP, they might be able to suggest different ways open to you. Its nerve wracking going anywhere new, and if its any comfort, every person in an AA room has felt nervous like you, they've also had the bad feelings about themselves.....thats what alcohol does to you.

Good luck

Paulgar

AA does a great job, but there are other ways. The important thing is to stop drinking if you think you have a problem. There are online communities such as The Sober Recovery Community and We Quit Drinking which are also a great place for advice and options. Going to see your GP would be a wise move too as mentioned by colrow. Good luck.

the_god_swan

Im thinking of getting a copy of 'Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol', it has a vast majority of great positive reviews on Amazon.co.uk. From reading the reviews the book is not really about controlling your intack its about stopping for good. Allen Carr's book on smoking has me smoke free with over 7 months and I couldn't be happier.

luckylucky

the_god_swan wrote: »

Im thinking of getting a copy of 'Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol', it has a vast majority of great positive reviews on Amazon.co.uk. From reading the reviews the book is not really about controlling your intack its about stopping for good. Allen Carr's book on smoking has me smoke free with over 7 months and I couldn't be happier.

I got Allen Carr's Easy way to stop drinking - I think it's more or less the same.

Anyway it did the trick for me, I think it's a great book. I really think it opens up your mind to the real nature of alcohol.

It mightn't be for everyone but for a few quid it's well worth taking a shot with.

zero_nine

luckylucky wrote: »

I got Allen Carr's Easy way to stop drinking - I think it's more or less the same.

Anyway it did the trick for me, I think it's a great book. I really think it opens up your mind to the real nature of alcohol.

It mightn't be for everyone but for a few quid it's well worth taking a shot with.

Just wondering Luckylucky....obviously you used to drink and then you quit. I'm just wondering, how long has it been since you've last been drinking?

luckylucky

November last year.

tbh If you had said to me then when I quit that I would still be off it over 9 months later I would at best have had serious doubts - on the other hand it was the first time I knew I was genuinely serious about quitting and that book helped me no end.

Like every major lifestyle change it's not plain sailing, particularly the first 3 months where one time in particular I almost caved in, and I won't deny that I still miss it from time to time, but at this stage I think it would almost require an effort from me to go back to being a drinker - so hopefully though I guess it's still relatively early I'm off it permanently.

zero_nine

I was just asking because I have noticed that a lot of people quit using Allen Carr's book. I did before too, but then started again. I was just wondering is it possible to attain long term change using this method. Good to know it is.

Well done,

Feel free to elaborate on your experiences, it enlightens!

luckylucky

zero_nine wrote: »

I was just asking because I have noticed that a lot of people quit using Allen Carr's book. I did before too, but then started again. I was just wondering is it possible to attain long term change using this method. Good to know it is.

Well done,

Feel free to elaborate on your experiences, it enlightens!

Well 9 months isn't quite long term, so I don't want to be complacent or come across as I've DONE It or whatever.

Anyway if it helps I'll go through my experiences.

My drinking
As a drinker I was drinking pretty much every day of the week. I was drinking to relax, drinking coz I was bored, drinking to fill in time, drinking coz I was p'd off, drinking coz I was happy, drinking to be sociable. Pretty much the full list of reasons why people drink . Most of that time I wasn't getting heavily drunk. i.e. I was probably having 4 to 5 bottles a day on a normal day. And I might have at least 1 if not 2 'serious' sessions a week with the resultant hangover and the next day being a complete struggle. It didn't help that I was also working for myself from home so I didn't have an employer to answer to. Anyway for a while before I quit I was turning more and more against this habit,in my actual mindset, this habit that I had been doing to one degree or another for all my adult life. In my late 30s and seeing people older than me with massive beer bellies, health problems due to alcohol I really didn't want to go there and I knew that's where I was inevitably heading. I had tried the whole cutting back lark. I even went off alcohol for a whole month, however at the end of the month I just went back to it with even more gusto.

I was really humming and hawing about giving up for best part of a year. Since I was ordering a load of books from Amazon and I thought what the hell I'd give the Allen Carr book a try. Wasn't too sure what to expect, anyway I completed reading it in a few days, by the end of the book I was even more turned off and anti-alcohol and it had got me in the right mindset to at least give it a shot to give it up, so I did.

First 3 months.
First 3 months are the toughest imo. I can't say I had any major withdrawal symptoms, other than the occasional cravings or feelings of emptiness. I did lose weight, I had already lost weight though as I had gotten a puppy 6 months before and taking that out for exercise mostly everyday was helping me even then lose weight. Saying that I can't say I felt somehow like a new man or anything, more like a subtle improvement and I didn't wake up at least once a week anymore feeling like I had a minor flu.

Reaction from friends: It's not like giving up smoking. Expect to get some negative reaction. Some people are positive, because they recognise (even if they don't agree) that drinking had become an issue for me and that dare I say admired me for being determined enough to go through the process of giving it up. Others however somehow see it as a challenge to their way of doing things, and their habit that they so 'enjoy' doing. Expect to get the virtues of drinking extolled, everything from it's health benefits (those mystical people who can manage 1 glass of red wine a day), to how it's all part of having a good time etc etc. Even people who are sometimes supportive will say things like Sure you can have the odd one.... I've come to recognise though that you either drink of you don't. There's very very few people who 'like' drink who can just have the odd one.

The 'crux' moment: As I said the first 3 months were the toughest, especially social occassions. I noticed that when everybody was having the 1st glass of wine of a meal is when I had most difficulty, however the urge, neediness whatever you want to call it passes, and often by the end of the evening I thought thank fcuk I didn't cave in. My normal social interaction wasn't really effected at all, still had laughs 'n all that, except there was far less of a chance that I'd say anything really stupid or offensive etc etc. One particular time I think after about 3 months we had friends over for a meal. They were drinking some red wine and my desire to indulge was overpowering. It was the closest I came to saying ah fcuk it. But then I thought to myself if I want it this bad it's even more of a reason not to have it, so I somehow stopped myself, and that was like my real crux moment, was like once I passed that test it all became that much easier, well except for some slip-ups....

3 months to 6 months.
I have had minor slip-ups since. One time about 4 months ago when I was really really stressed about something I had a 1/4 glass of wine at a friend's house and I'm not sure but I might have had a bottle of beer by mistake when I was in Madrid when I ordered a non-alcoholic one. I'm not actually overly bothered about these as it was the habit/attitude I wanted to break. Both the slip-ups haven't resulted in me going back on the beer, not that I think it's ok to have these slip-ups. At this stage I have a healthy fear of what having a drink might lead to and I don't want to go back there.

Fallout from giving up booze: I'm a professional online poker player(though maybe not for much longer ). Anyway since packing in booze I've had by far my worst run ever. I think possibly one of the reasons for my downturn has been that before when I didn't feel like doing anything else, I drunk alcohol. Instead I found myself in the same situation playing poker though I wasn't really in the humour for it and not in the correct mindset, also and don't get me wrong here, but alcohol was a release for me - not that it was a healthy one and I haven't found anything else to replace that 'release' factor.

Thoughts about drinking again I've thought about it, as above with the poker issue. I could pick on reasons why going back drinking would have its benefits. But overall I know this is foolish, unfortunately giving up perhaps has had some repercussions i wouldn't have anticpated, but I'm still finding my feet to live in a different way and in a world where the non-drinker is an oddity. I still think it's worth. let's put it this way, I spent almost 22 years drinking and I don't regret all of them - but it's enough now - been there and done that and I've given it more than enough. I don't want any fkin drug/substance/person having this much unwanted control or influence on my life.


Random thoughts on alcohol and society: As someone who has given up. I almost feel a bit like Neo after taking the pill in the Matrix, ok a bit dramatic . But really it's only after giving up that you fully realise how pervasive alcohol is in society. And I don't just mean Irish society, it's western society period. British, Scandies are just as bad - well at least they are in the same division as us, let's put it that way. We might be Man U to their Aston villa , even here in Portugal alcohol's grip is big. Their Primera Liga is sponsored by their biggest beer company Sagres. I mean they are whole buildings dedicated to this unnecessary substance. It's taken as a given pretty much by society at large that the consumption of this substance is a requrement at any social gathering. People will pretty much pay a large portion of their income for this substance so governments are laughing taxation wise. I mean about the only other stuff that you could tax at 100% + without stopping people from buying are for fuel and tobacco. And alcohol has supposedly only a grip on 'alcoholics'...purlllease

Allen Carr mentions something about drinking alcohol is somehow seen as being rebellious - when the reality is that it's what every Tom, Dick and Harry do though the real rebel is the one that says fk it - I'm not just going to follow along and do what every other person is doing.

One of my little conspiracy theories is that western governments want their citizens to drink. An alcoholic or keen boozer though they might cause trouble, they are far too busy with their habit than getting involved with anything that can cause real trouble for a state. I believe that if drinking was permitted by Islam that then some of the fervour that we see today of the more extremist side of that religion would be drowned out by alcohol.

Got more elaboration than you bargained for there zero_nine I bet

Mr. Presentable

Good man! Possibly the post post I've seen on boards

hellboy100

Vampireskiss wrote: »

I am 31 and I think I may be an alcoholic so I am coming on here looking for help. I am not entirely oposed to going to AA but I would prefer a different option.

My situation is this ,every friday and saturday I binge drink on my own on beer and bottles of wine.The sad thing is I am drinking on my own as I do not have very many friends.

I have the oppourtunity to go out sometimes but I tend to avoid it as im unhappy with my appearance so I dont really enjoy it.

I was intending to go to AA today but im having cold feet as I dont know what to expect

well i think its all just a frame of mind

zero_nine

More than I bargained for indeed.

I appreciate that. I'm thinking of giving it another go... I totally know what you mean about the 'crux moment'. I've reached that a few times but have always taken the conventional route. Its deffo worth another shot tho.

Thanks again,

ZE

SIX PACK

Luckylucky that was a long post but i read every bit of it. enjoyed it too. from the sound of things you didnt actually drink that heavy- if you think you did i think a lot of us are in trouble im 24 drink 20 bottles of beer a wk approx. i buy at tesco or dunnes in bulk its cheaper but once i open the box & stock them in the fridge on a fri nite i plan to hav 1 or 2 if on my own but if i hav a few friends over & we are plannin to head out clubbing around 11.30 we usually start downing bottles like water (we always drink at home if we are going for a night out simple reason its cheaper)
there is actually a lot of people doing that these days to save money but i think people are consuming way more at home than they would in a pub.

Not good for the Liver i know but at least i avoid spirits think they bleed the liver if not diluted :mad:

luckylucky

zero_nine wrote: »

More than I bargained for indeed.

I appreciate that. I'm thinking of giving it another go... I totally know what you mean about the 'crux moment'. I've reached that a few times but have always taken the conventional route. Its deffo worth another shot tho.

Thanks again,

ZE

Well the best of luck with it. I think when you give up anything like ciggies or alcohol there's definitely lessons you can learn from others, but you have to adapt them and incorporate them into your own mindset and way of doing things.

luckylucky

SIX PACK wrote: »

from the sound of things you didnt actually drink that heavy- if you think you did i think a lot of us are in trouble im 24 drink 20 bottles of beer a wk approx.

Not that it's a competition. But the beer in Portugal is pretty strong normally 5 to 5.6% a bottle. Anyway not sure how many exactly I had in the typical day that I just got merry. I mean I drunk wine, beer, liquers as I felt like it and wasn't keeping count. Say it averaged out at maybe 5 bottles a day 5 days a week that's 25 and that's before - the other 1 or 2 days that I was drinking heavily. Again I wasn't keeping count but I'd imagine that amounted to double figures on any of those days. So that's about 40 to 50 bottles in a normal week say. I know that's nothing compared to what some 'legends' drink but it certainly is far from the 'healthy' 1 and a half units a day.

btw I don't want to come across as preachy about giving up booze. For one thing I never had much inclination of giving up in my 20s. I rightly or wrongly associated booze with pulling women for one thing back then, basically looking back I have to admit because I didn't have the confidence or know how to do it any other way.

Here I am saying things as I see them but I know from my recent experience that it's an unwelcome point of view from the norm of the society we live in, but it might be helpful to 1 or 2 people thinking about giving up I hope.