Girlfriend going to chippendales

LegacyUser

I've asked my girlfriend in the past how she would feel about me going to strip clubs...out of curiosity and due to the fact I've encountered some women who are okay with it, and others who are not.

She jokingly said she wasn't okay with it and that she would be if I came. When I told her what happens at them (lap dances etc, flirting etc), her joking side became a little more serious. "No I wouldn't really".

I'm fine with that. I have no need for them, I've been to one on holidays (whilst single) and got nothing from it.

She is going away in Dec to Las Vegas on a hen night and she mentioned over the phone that the girl getting hitched would like to see the chippendales.

I didn't really pass that much remarks, but after thinking of it...that's got to be a ****ing double standard.

I mean, they're the same thing right. Man comes out, strips, interacts with the crowd etc.

I'd like to hear others opinions on this before I speak to her tomorrow.

Thanks

Silverfish

The chippendales are more burlesque and flirting than private lapdances or strip clubs to be fair.

I'm not sure of the nature of your question. Are you looking to debate the difference, or whether you should be allowed go to a strip club, or are you feeling insecure due to this?

Slow Motion

Personally if my OH wanted to go see them I wouldn't have a problem with it. I would however have a problem if she didn't want me to see a stripper! It is a double standard and I have no time for that. I would point that out if I were you, what's good for the goose etc. It has nothing to do with insecurity in this case as far as I'm concerned. It has to do with the fact that the OPs OH is going to do something she is not comfertable with him doing. Wether it's the full monty or not is irellevant!

Slow Motion

sunflower27 wrote: »

The chippendales are a trained dance act that dont strip naked or offer sexual favours for money.

I think there is a vast difference.

If the OP wants to challenge his gf on this, I'd expect her to say the same thing.

No actually I don't think there is, they are an act that uses their sexuality to entertain, strippers dance too, I don't see a difference at all and who says that strippers offer sexual favours? Some may do but that's not the issue, the issue is the double standard, which is still there IMO.

Edit: The chippendales take their clothes off as part of their act, is that not stripping?

Slow Motion

sunflower27 wrote: »

Fair enough, no-one is saying we have to agree.

My point is that going to see the chippendales, the OP can rest assured his girlfriend isnt going to see full-on nudity or a lap dance. From what I know it is a world-renowned show and highly professional.

Am thinking the OP's girlfriend is thinking - strip club, lap dancing, full-on nudity and that is why she has a problem.

It's stripping, but the most you will see is a 6-pack and a bit of bum

We'll have to agree to disagree on this one To me the amount of nudity involved is irrelevant it is the attidude that is important and I still see it as a double standard.

waraf

It's a complete double standard OP. As another poster said the chippendales don't do the full monty but there are a hell of a lot of "tribute" acts that do. Who's to say that she won't end up going to a tribute act in Vegas cause they're cheaper and the tickets are more readily available? I wouldn't be having that at all mate to be honest...

Oh The Humanity

I think the difference is seeing the Chippendales would more like seeing the Pussycat Dolls or something as in its a visual show (I imagine) where the punter is unlikely to make physical contact. The performers are celebs who wont give a one on one show to audience members.

Wheras in a lapdancing club, the girls are anonymous (not celebrities) and will do private dances with touching/grinding etc for money....

So in one the audience members are passive and in the other there is interaction....

Have I got that right? (never seen the Chippendales the beefy bimboys!)

Terodil

Silverfish wrote: »

Are you looking to debate the difference, or whether you should be allowed go to a strip club, or are you feeling insecure due to this?

I think his initial question is disjunct with all of your suggested ones: Is she using double standards?

My opinion: Yes she is, it doesn't matter if the 'service portfolio' offers lap dances or not. If the girlfriend objects to the OP going (full stop, there was no specification a la 'you can go and look, but don't touch / order lapdances') then it should apply to her as well and not be waived at the first opportunity that arises. What kind of agreement/principle would that be?

That said when it comes to suggestions, it does come down to Silverfish's questions.

- If you're ok with hen/stag nights/strip clubs in principle (which is entirely ok) then I wouldn't make a big deal out of this (she's not going on her own or at her own initiative, after all).

- If you're not ok with them in principle (which is entirely ok too) then I would bring it up and ask her how this fits in with your agreement. She could easily not take part that evening and enjoy the rest of the trip with her friends (that's what I'd do, personally, if I was in her position).

Chucky the tree

Tell the girlfriend the night she's off to see the chippendal you're hitting a strip club and see how she re-acts. Massive double standards and I'd furious if I was you OP.

waraf

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

So in one the audience members are passive and in the other there is interaction....

So by that rationale the OP should be allowed to attend strip clubs as long as he doesn't get a private lap dance.

Slow Motion

sunflower27 wrote: »

Or looks at any 'private' bits on display. You won't get that at the 'Chippendales'.

Unless their covered up completely then you will, you said earlier that you see a bit of bum are you saying that's not a private part? Anyway the whole point here is about the double standard, even if the chippendales don't display all it doesn't matter, I doubt the audience is just going to sit there quietly and admire the dance routine. What ever way you want to sell it it is still a sex show regardless of how explicit it is, and while I have no problem with that, the problem is that she thinks she can go, but doesn't want him do do something similar. It's that simple to me!

Monkey61

As far as I know the Chippendales are completely different as they just put on a big theatrical show on the stage and have a wander about the crowd. It all seems a lot more like humourous and cheesy entertainment than a strip club.

Anyway, relationships should obviously have boundaries but I don't think fostering an attitude of tit for tat rule making on principle really makes for a healthy relationship.

Why would you want to be so petty as to possibly put a dampener on her holiday over this? You clearly have no problem with the idea in theory. Your only problem with it is that it isn't fair on you because she might have a problem with you going to a hypothetical strip club that you don't actually want to go to anyway?

But it would be interesting to ask her about it anyway and ask her what her problem with you going to strip clubs is, as it may actually lead to her rethinking her views on those. It may turn out that the only reason she doesn't want you going to strip clubs is that she fears the exploitation of trafficked women in the disreputable ones, which obviously isn't a factor in a Chippendales show. Whereas if her problem stems solely from you looking at naked women, then she may rethink those views if she believes that herlooking at naked men is okay.

herya

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

I think the difference is seeing the Chippendales would more like seeing the Pussycat Dolls or something as in its a visual show (I imagine) where the punter is unlikely to make physical contact. The performers are celebs who wont give a one on one show to audience members.

Wheras in a lapdancing club, the girls are anonymous (not celebrities) and will do private dances with touching/grinding etc for money....

So in one the audience members are passive and in the other there is interaction....

Have I got that right? (never seen the Chippendales the beefy bimboys!)

You're right as far as I know, you could probably compare seeing Chippendales to seeing Dita Von Teese or another highly professional burlesque act - she even does the full monty but there's not a chance in hell of you grabbing her ass afterwards or her giving you a lap dance.

If his gf had problems with him going to a really good professional burlesque strip show it would definitely be a double standard.

She might have problems strictly with the interaction part though - in which case he should make sure that she's not seeing one of the more seedy male acts where the female audience pretends to perform oral on the dancers etc.

Katgurl

well is the thought of your gf going to the chippendales bothering you or is it just the principle of the thing?

because if its just the principle i'd forget about it. she wants to go, you don't mind so why make a fuss?

you don't particularly want to go to a strip club (which ARE different to chippendales show) and you know it would cause her genuine hurt & distress so why insist upon it just to prove a point?

Its kinda making trouble for no real reason as far as i can see.

Oh The Humanity

waraf wrote: »

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

So in one the audience members are passive and in the other there is interaction....

So by that rationale the OP should be allowed to attend strip clubs as long as he doesn't get a private lap dance.

Yes, he should.

Crash Bang Wall

Its a tough one. They are different but neither can be classified as cheating and shouldnt be relationship threatening.

More likely that a Chippendale would bring back a crowd member to a hotel room than a lap dancer i would say though even if it the Chippendales could be classed as more fun than erotic or whatever

Touch of double standards though

Piglet85

I'm not convinced that this male strip troup is necessarily going to be as innocent as some people are trying to suggest. I know that the original chippendales are, but as someone else mentioned, they're probably going to a tribute act, and I have heard stories of those acts getting quite steamy. I'm not suggesting for a second though that your girlfriend would have anything to do with that though even if it was like that.

However, I think the point is, yes, it is a double standard. But does it really matter? If you're ok with her going, that's great. So why would you stop her? It makes no sense to ask her not to go purely because she would be uncomfortable with the reverse situation. You're two different people, and sometimes you will disagree on matters like this. Relationships aren't about tit for tat though, and there's no point in causing a row over something that doesn't even bother you. Chances are things like this will arise again in the future, and maybe then she'll be ok with you doing something that you wouldn't be comfortable with her doing.

Kimia

Totally different imo.

Girl goes to Chippendales. Laughter & hilarity ensues. No sexual connotations.

Guy goes to strip club. Very obvious sexual connotations.

Totally different. The reason that either gender goes is the difference.

shellyboo

Kimia wrote: »

Totally different imo.

Girl goes to Chippendales. Laughter & hilarity ensues. No sexual connotations.

Guy goes to strip club. Very obvious sexual connotations.

Totally different. The reason that either gender goes is the difference.

Why are there very obvious sexual connotations? Why no sexual connotations when the women go to Chippendales? Explain to me why the motives are different, I don't see why they would be necessarily.


OP, it's massive double standards. Call her out! Do it in a jokey way, let her go, but make your point. Too many women out there putting rules and regulations on their boyfriends, it's ridiculous.

CDfm

Kimia wrote: »

Totally different imo.

Girl goes to Chippendales. Laughter & hilarity ensues. No sexual connotations.

Guy goes to strip club. Very obvious sexual connotations.

Totally different. The reason that either gender goes is the difference.

Yes women go to the Chippendales to objectify men as sexual objects and men go to lapdancing clubs as a social group to relax in other mens company.The former is cheap and nasty and the latter innocent fun.

allybhoy

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

I think the difference is seeing the Chippendales would more like seeing the Pussycat Dolls or something as in its a visual show (I imagine) where the punter is unlikely to make physical contact. The performers are celebs who wont give a one on one show to audience members.

Wheras in a lapdancing club, the girls are anonymous (not celebrities) and will do private dances with touching/grinding etc for money....

So in one the audience members are passive and in the other there is interaction....

Have I got that right? (never seen the Chippendales the beefy bimboys!)

No this is not correct. A friend of mine is in a well known Male Irish Strip group who more or less model themselves on the likes of the Chippendales, and yes there is audience participation. I wont say more than that other than from the videos ive seen some of it can be more explicit than a lapdance.

CDfm

This is how they describe the show on the website Best of Vegas

[FONT=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]the boys are completely nude several times throughout the show. You also might be lucky enough to get a personal lap dance as the Chippendale dancers love to make audience members blush. [/FONT]

There is audience paticipation and its a purpose built venue and the strippers meet the audence after the show too.

Saruman

What are the chances of them going to see the Chippendales and NOT going on to another club with male strippers later?

While in this case the Chippendales might not be as explicit as a strip club, it is the same thing at the end of the day. It is a complete double standard BUT she is a woman and from experience there is always one rule for us and none for them so just get over it I think. Even bringing up the subject will probably cause an argument.

Zoodlebop

I actually disagree with all this talk of double standards. It comes down to what each of the two people are comfortable with. If the OP is comfortable with his OH going to see Chippendales, then what's the problem if she is not comfortable with him going to see strippers? The OP has said that he doesn't want to see strippers.

Why do couples have to have the exact same rules? It's not a flipping court case, it's a relationship and not everyone has to like all the same things, do all the same things or agree about everything. The OP just needs to talk to his OH.

Just my 2c.

DSB

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Tell the girlfriend the night she's off to see the chippendal you're hitting a strip club and see how she re-acts. Massive double standards and I'd furious if I was you OP.

Do this.

CDfm

DSB wrote: »

Do this.

I wouldn't get in to the tit for tat route as it is not behaving like a grown up.

The Chippendales were formed in LA years back in a mud wrestling club and originally had links to organised crime. I seem to remember years back that there were a few murders etc connected with it and it was franchised out.

Las Vegas is in Nevada and its the only state in the US where prostitution is legalised (though not in Las Vegas itself) some of the Chippendales have been linked from time to time with prostitution.Its a myth that they are homosexual.

By any definition they work in the sex entertainment industry and any distinction between females working the same industry for a male audience is disengenious.

Myself, I wouldnt go out of my way to see a stripper or go to a lapdancing club as a guy. Its not my bag and I cant see the attraction. That said if I was at a stag do and one arrived I would go along with it.

Your g/f making a distinction is self deception and art it aint. Its a sex show just like any strip club or lapdancing club and the guys in it are in the sex industry.

It wouldnt bother me if my g/f went to one with her friends and I wouldnt get on my high horse about it but its what it is.

Nevyn

There is burleque and there is stripping and there is a difference.
There is also a difference between being in a theatre which sits 300 plus people while a burlesque dance troop preforms on stage and being in a strip club with a 'preformer' being less then 2 foot from you on the stage or an inch from your crotch as they gyrate over you.

Yes both are forms of titillation designed to excite and arouse a person and if that is where a couple draw the line then I don't know how ether of them can look at any advertisement posters what so ever.

I would say the difference is that one is seen as a more classy type of entertainment and the other more trashy.

Clearly the gf doesn't see them as the same and you need to talk to her about why that is and reach an understanding the both of you.

LegacyUser

It was recently my boyfriends birthday and his friends had organised a party for him at this strip club he didnt know it was planned until two days before he asked me if i minding him going and i said no [ i did but it was his birthday and didnt want to spoil it] he knew i didnt want him to go so he asked me if i'd come with him. he rang the club and asked if i could come as well and they said yes it was no problem as we were having a private booth anyway for party. He was really happy i came with him. Girls i'll be honest with ye for those of ye who havent gone to one - i was shocked at the girls that were dancing - there were two very beautiful looking girls there but that was it - you know the saying far away hills are greener??? ya well up close there not [and when your sober!!!!] one of these beautiful girls [from a distance] when she came up to the group you could see she had a c section- she had sever scaring and was a lot older than i orginally though she was and couldnt really speak english.
My boyfriend was suppose to have a lapdance with a girl of his choice but he refused Not because i was there but because they did nothing for him. think two of the lads only got a dance and complained it wasnt great!
So i honestly have no bother wit him going to one again but dont think he will regardless.
I have gone on a few hen nights where there are strippers here in Ireland and well all you see as others have said is a 6 pack and a little bit of bum! Basically something similar what ye guys stare at page 2 for!!

tinkerbell

It is a complete double standard for the OP's gf to not want him to go to a strip club but she is ok with going to the chippendales. Ugh the chippendales just totally gross me out, they are absolutely disgusting, I would never go to see them. If I was on a hen night and I was told that they were planning to go to the chippendales I would leave and go home.

As for strip clubs, I'm not a fan of those either. I do not like the idea of how close the women get and I just don't like it.