Should I take a risk and approach girl?

LegacyUser

Hi
Theres a girl I see in the gym I go to and I really like her. I noticed her for the first time over a year ago but Ive never spoken to her and have no clue as to how I could appraoch her. I think she likes me aswell because a couple of times shes walked by me and looked me in the eye which was like being hit by a bolt of lightning. Although I appreciate I could be just imagining that she likes me,I mean people see what they want to see.
The problem is that I dont get the opportunity to start a conversation with her because she comes in to the gym, jumps onto a cross-trainer machine for a bit and then heads upstairs to the ladies only section, then heads off. So theres no real window of opportunity to even talk to her, at least none that I can see. I cant just approach her while shes on the crosstrainer, if this was new york that'd be no problem but Irish girls would just think its weird, some guy they dont know coming up and talking to them out of the blue in a gym. Its very frustrating seeing her all the time and not being able to talk to her. Ive tried forgetting about the situation and just avoiding her by going to the gym at different times but no matter what time I go at shes always there.

Am I going to have to take a big risk here and approach her without a context? Risk making a show of myself? Sometimes I think I should just go for it but why should I be the one who has to make a move and take a risk? If she really did like me theres nothing stopping her from approaching me or at least giving me a definite indication that she does like me and its safe to appraoch her.
Should I just forget about this girl? Im not the kind of guy who fancies lots of girls, its rare I'll see somebody who Im instantly attracted to.
Or should I go for it and take a risk?
Thanks

sachamama

Risk of what? having your pride crushed because she doesn't like you?

how to do it without making a fool of yourself?
Write her a note with your mobile number on it and your name, hand it to her while looking her in the eyes and say "call me". thats all you have to do.

if she calls you great, if she doesnt then at least you tried.

Rb

Only read the title but am going to say yes, you only live once and if you've put enough thought into it to post here then it must be worth it.

If it doesn't go your way, just move along and forget about it, you'd be surprised at how quickly these things sink into the past.

Good luck.

Liam Byrne

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Sticking your neck out and going for it means (a) you get a no, (b) you get a slightly confusing yes-then-know, or (c) you get a yes.....but so what ?

Does the opinion of someone you don't know matter ? Or she might have reasons to say no which have nowt to do with you (e.g. a boyfriend - or girlfriend! - or a recent ex, or other plans).

But if you don't ask, you'll never know....so chance it! So what if you do end up spending a few days licking your wounds ? And you might not!

And best of luck!

Oh The Humanity

Why should I be the one who has to make a move and take a risk? If she really did like me theres nothing stopping her from approaching me or at least giving me a definite indication that she does like me and its safe to appraoch her

Why should you be the one? Well why shouldn't you!?

She has given you a definite indication, looking you in the eye pointedly!

And as for 'safe' -forget that in the world of love and romance there is NO SAFE!!!!!

Anything could happen, just get your nerve together and go for it! If she knocks you back never mind.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained! GOOD LUCK !

sweetie

go for it man. be a playa! Seriously, if someone takes the effort to make
eye contact it's a very good sign and it's worth at least introducing yourself
and taking it from there. In a few months time you could be kicking yourself
for the time you have wasted.

G-Money

Oh The Humanity wrote: »

She has given you a definite indication, looking you in the eye pointedly!

I must be around girls for whom eye contact is a definite indicator of disinterest

LegacyUser

please please ignore the advice of sashamama!! if you hand her a note with your number on it she will definately think you are weird!!
the best thing you can do in this situation is try use the cross trainer next to her. while you are setting up the controls try saying hi to her. the next time you see her say hi again and eventually you will feel comfortable to start up a conversation and she will know you to see you and say hi.
- Don't try and impress her or be full on. Girls dont mind guys approaching them because its flattering but gage how she is reacting when you do talk to her. you will know if she wants to keep the conversation going, dont stay talking for too long though as you don't want to annoy her either. keep it short and sweet!
goodluck with it - i hope it works out.

Rb

Unregistered wrote: »

please please ignore the advice of sashamama!! if you hand her a note with your number on it she will definately think you are weird!!
the best thing you can do in this situation is try use the cross trainer next to her. while you are setting up the controls try saying hi to her. the next time you see her say hi again and eventually you will feel comfortable to start up a conversation and she will know you to see you and say hi.
- Don't try and impress her or be full on. Girls dont mind guys approaching them because its flattering but gage how she is reacting when you do talk to her. you will know if she wants to keep the conversation going, dont stay talking for too long though as you don't want to annoy her either. keep it short and sweet!
goodluck with it - i hope it works out.

I agree. I also wouldn't recommend dancing to her front from across the room.

Jokes are a good way to break the ice, not a "knock knock" one or something that could be insulting, more observational jokes (not about her obviously).

faith3

say hello. have a friendly chat. repeat a couple of times. then bite the bullet and ask her if she would be into meeting up for a drink / coffee sometime. if yes : get a phone number! if no : who cares? the thump of rejection is far less painful than kicking yourself for not doing it.

LegacyUser

What the poster above said. Don't start off by asking her out, try and have a friendly conversation with her whenever you see her. Do that for a while and see what wibe you're getting and whether you're still into her. Your first conversation could be something like:

- Hey, I see you around a lot, you're working out pretty hard.
- ...
- its a great gym, the sky is blue, whatever else comes to your mind.. my name is xxx, by the way.

And leave it there till the next time, don't give it all away at once!
You are not risking anything, just be a bit more brave and positive. Best of luck to you!

LegacyUser

Hi OP here,
Thanks for the responses, I appreciate the help. Although the one about writing her a note with my number on it was a classic! I think if I did that not only would she think Im weird but I reckon she'd get security to throw me out aswell.

Anyway I'll just be more specific in describling the problem. Its not about having a lack of courage and being afraid to talk to her. The problem is having the opportunity to talk to her because as it stands she comes in, uses a cross-trainer for a few minutes, heads up to the ladies gym and then leaves. The problem is getting an opportunity to be in the same vicinity as her without making it look too obvious. I mean if she came over to the stretching area for example then I could sit down beside her and strike up a conversation. But she spends pretty much all of her gym time in the ladies gym(and Im not walking into the ladies gym). And I cant jump on the cross-trainer beside her because that would look too obvious aswell.

So the problem is getting an opportunity and not making it look too obvious that im trying to chat her up.............Or is that ok, I mean do women mind if a guy comes up to them in public and chats them up? I went out with a girl before and she told me that guys would approach her all the time and every where: at the bus stop, in the shops, in cafes. But she said she thought it was just weird and desperate to do something like that. So im cautious for good reasons.

LegacyUser

HI,
you say that there is no window of opportunity to talk to her as she just works out then leaves..

So maybe the next couple of times she is there observe how long she spends in the gym then you could possibly be outside waiting before she leaves. Start talking to her and just slip in that you are waiting on a friend or something so it doesnt look like you were waiting outside just to bump into her!. maybe as she is approaching just text a friend to ring you in 5/10mins saying to meet somewhere else to give you a lift home just incase she says she will wait with you until your friend arrives!! sorry if you live beside the gym or drive then i dont know but still think of some reason to be waiting outside so you can talk to her!

good luck anyway man.

LegacyUser

Good grief!!! Of course, you go over and say hello. My whole life has been a series of missed opportunities bar one which involved the woman making the first move leading to a great night in bed. Everyday I think about all the stupid times in my youth when I was too afraid to take the chance to chat a girl up and about the difference it might have made to my life. Sadly, on those few times in which I plucked up the courage to engage the girl in conversation it always ended in disaster. Sometimes, fortune doesn't favour the brave but hopefully it will have a happy outcome in your case. Best of luck.