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What to do? Does a mutual friend of my boyfriend and me have other intentions?

  • 23-07-2009 1:46am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Going anon for this. I'm in a relationship for almost two years. Early twenties. Some of it has been long distance (which it currently is due to work). My boyfriend was very good friends with a guy (since after my bf and I met). I hadn't met this friend until about six months ago. This friend (we'll call him 'John') moved to nearby where I'm living now about three months ago. We hang out sometimes, speak on msn a lot and we get on really well.

    Since I met John, the friendship between John and my bf has suffered. John gradually stopped contacting my boyfriend and spoke to me more often. I asked him why etc and (as my bf missed him as a friend). John said that he can't help it if he gets on better with me and that he doesn't want to 'force the friendship' with my boyfriend. My OH doesn't have many close friends and I feel guilty about this. As silly as it sounds it's like I 'stole' my boyfriend's good friend.

    One of my best friends 'Mary' met John for the first time recently. We were all out together and my boyfriend was there also. Mary thinks that John is definitely 'falling in love with me'. I get on really well with him and I don't want to lose him as a friend and I have never led him on. He knows I love my boyfriend to bits. I do not want to make my boyfriend jealous and I don't really know how to proceed. How do I know if John has other intentions other than friendship? I was blind to it all before my friend said it (and she was being serious). And if he has is there any way I can remain friends with him?.
    My boyfriend said he was wondering about John's 'feelings and motives' also. Ahh.

    Thank you to all who reply.


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