Am I Unwanted??

LegacyUser

Ive been going out with my gf for about 4 months now and things have been going great (we've had our little petty rows but always worked them out) up until recently. Lately shes been canceling anytime we plan to meet saying she is tired or sick or some excuse. I didnt mind at first because i believed her but now its becoming a regular occurrance. Im lucky to see her once a week at this rate. I was supposed to call round to hers one evening this week but she canceled and told me she'd call over the following day to me but then she text to say she might be heading out with friends so she probably wouldnt make it. So i text back and told her straight that i was frustrated but she replied accusing me of not letting her go out with her friends but i would never do that cause i know how important friends are, it just annoys me that she changed our plans on the spur of the moment. I dont know what to do, she wont text me now and im feeling real bad at the moment cause i know ive hurt her but i couldnt keep bottling this up!! Anyone have any advice?? because i really am mad about her but im getting the feeling im being taken for granted. thanks.

Phlann

I'm afraid you're done for, mate.

That's the oldest routine in the book (used by guys too - I did it myself when I was young and inconsiderate).

First you start making excuses, then you start to get annoyed at the person for hassling you to do stuff, then when they confront you over the lies and excuses you take offence, act like they're a bit psycho, get angry with them and use that as an excuse to not get in touch again.

Sorry. It's a cheap, lazy, inconsiderate way of doing it.

Oh The Humanity

Yep, she is fecking you about......usually a prelude to being dumped I am sorry to say....:(

Gyalist

Yes, consider yourself single. The thing to do is to stop all communication and go out with your mates/on your own and do the things that you've been interested in doing. When she realises that she no longer has you wrapped around her fingers she will likely try to get back in contact, but by then you should be too busy having fun to care.

LegacyUser

I agree with the other posters. Happened me recently, he just started ignoring me and whenever we talked it would be really short and awkward. About two weeks later he told me it was my fault we weren't getting along and that it was finished. It's an awful cruel way of doing things, you'd wish they'd just told you what the real problem was.

You deserve someone better who respects you and your feelings enough to be straight with you. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

hey OP here, yeah she text back yesterday accusing me of trying to control her, which is pure nonsense cause she is a very head strong girl and would never let anyone control plus i would never try to control her anyway! so i said id rather talk about things in person rather than text abuse back and forth to each other and of course she refused, so ive done what one of the above posters recommended and cut contact with her. Told her she knows where i am if she wants to try talk! thanks everyone for the advice!

petethebrick

Dump her first I reckon.

I remember I was in a similiar situation to you and did just that.
I was going out with a girl and it hadn't been working out for a while.
I put up with her because she was hot as **** and a great ride.
It was clear for a while though that she wasn't that into me. I was selling myself out really. One day decided enough was enough and finished with her.
The silly bitch then proceeded to give me dogs abuse about how I'd only dumped her because I knew she was probably gonna dump me blah blah blah :P

Oh The Humanity

Well done, as Phlann said she will try to make you look the bad guy to cover for her own shortcomings.

I wouldn't hold your breath about hearing from her, unless whoever she is running around with currently rejects her.....then she will be back looking for comfort .....

I would strongly advise you to move on and don't engage in trying to change her mind or point score etc.

All the best!

Rb

Break up with her asap and then tell everyone how much of a psychopath she is.

If you keep letting yourself be strung along, she's going to make one ugly name for you.

Moomoo1

Unregistered wrote: »

hey OP here, yeah she text back yesterday accusing me of trying to control her, which is pure nonsense cause she is a very head strong girl and would never let anyone control plus i would never try to control her anyway! so i said id rather talk about things in person rather than text abuse back and forth to each other and of course she refused, so ive done what one of the above posters recommended and cut contact with her. Told her she knows where i am if she wants to try talk! thanks everyone for the advice!

good. And when she contacts you accuse her of trying to control you

LauraLoo

yeah just break up with her now- get it over and done with so you can start moving on. theres no point in sitting around waiting for her to contact you and then have her dump you giving you an even bigger boot to the self esteem

LauraLoo

yeah just break up with her now- get it over and done with so you can start moving on. theres no point in sitting around waiting for her to contact you and then have her dump you giving you an even bigger boot to the self esteem- forget about "controlling" her- take control of your own life and move on

LegacyUser

If she is going out all the time without you either she doesn't care about you, or introducing you to her friends. Same happened to me, girl was actually seeing someone else.

It's 4 months, I'd say move on and tell her to go and jump, if you're being messed around like this already, it will only get worse.

LegacyUser

hey thanks everyone for your advice, still no contact from her but as far as im concerned we,re over. I dont want to dump her over a text but if she wont meet face to face then what else can i do?? anyway i wont ne expectiing her to text me but if she does il just have to tell her i want out! thanks again

Nevyn

If they don't want to spend time with you and keep putting you off then you have to confront them and find out what the story is. Ring her and ask to meet up to talk.

LegacyUser

i think she is seeing what life would be without you and when it comes to breaking up it will be a lot easier for her because you won't have been in her life as much. It's like she's weaning off you so the break up won't be as harsh.

a) get there first - she may realise how stupid she is being.
b) wait it out she if she decides she wants you or not

LegacyUser

if ye are having so many fights and ye are only going out four months that doesnt say much for your future together. i would end things now and move on. she is being pretty crap to you - if she wants to spend so much time with her friends leave her to it! she can't take you for granted like that and make you feel like the twat!
i hope you move on and find someone else!