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Severe issues wit worrying

  • 21-07-2009 3:02am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi folks. Was wondering if anyone has ever felt like this before.

    Ive been seeing a great girl for the last three months and i have never been happier, problem is i constantly worry about crap and im afraid of driving my girlfriend away.

    She has told me some pretty unbelievable things about how she feels about me and how she wants our future to be, were both in same class at uni. At the end of august she is heading to the states for 2 weeks and i cant stop worrying about her. Her two mates are both in long term relationships and from our class but there staying in a hostel in la and i know what hostels are like and its doing my head in worry about her, so far ive only mentioned to her once about maybe staying somewhere safer but i dont want her to think im crazy and turn her against me.

    Our relationship is brilliant and i dont want these worrys to come between us :( what do i do?


Comments

  • #2
    Porkpie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 717 ✭✭✭Porkpie


    OP I know you feel that if you make her aware of how worried you are you might turn her against you, but I think you should discuss it anyway. Communication is vital in keeping a relationship healthy so it's best if things are out in the open. Why are you so worried? So, she's staying in a hostel. How many people stay in hostels around the world and remain safe? Although it sounds like you really care for her you really need to be convinced that you're worrying too much. I'm sure she can take care of herself, plus her friends are also there with her. If she cares for you she won't leg it when you bring this up. Be honest with her. Good luck.


  • #3
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    Went thru the same thing a few yrs ago when my OH was sent to the US for 9mts with work.
    Sometimes I felt totally overwhelmed - but eventually I figured out it was just me... I really had nothing to worry about - I just had to come to the realization that either I trusted her or I did not.
    Figured - if I did not - then there was no point being with her...

    I know this sounds a bit like one of those - but that really did help me - especially when I tried to focus instead of good memories while she was away - the final thing that helped me was keeping really busy - not sitting around - got quite fit from running :)


  • #4
    togster
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,931 ✭✭✭togster


    You need to understand that your worries are not real. It's an imagined future.

    Try to focus on the present and avoid the future except for practical purposes.

    When worries arise, take a deep breath and look around you. Don't try and counter them with rational thinking. Aknowledge they are there and accept them. Then go back to focusing on whatever/wherever you actually are, not this imaginary world in your head.

    The worry you are experiencing is created by your mind to serve your ego. You need to undertand that it is ficticious. It's the only way out, that or take up a hobby :pac:


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