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Does the Guilt ever go away

  • 20-07-2009 6:21pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Seperated for 3 years but still feel guilty that the marriage didn't work, looking back now I can clearly see the things that didnt work and why the marriage didnt work both parties were at fault one fight would escalate to another to another the smallest thing setting either of us eventually we just had enough, I hate the fact that I failed at my marriage I am still in contact with my wife and we get on well now (suppose because we are not living with each other) neither of us have moved on really this was the only proper relationship I was in , when I see her I still think she is the most beautiful women I ever seen and still fantasise about the marriage working but deep down I know it can't because we really are chalk and cheese, will the feeling of guilt ever go away to allow you to move on, any advice welcome


Comments

  • #2
    OS119
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,518 ✭✭✭OS119


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Seperated for 3 years but still feel guilty that the marriage didn't work, looking back now I can clearly see the things that didnt work and why the marriage didnt work both parties were at fault one fight would escalate to another to another the smallest thing setting either of us eventually we just had enough, I hate the fact that I failed at my marriage I am still in contact with my wife and we get on well now (suppose because we are not living with each other) neither of us have moved on really this was the only proper relationship I was in , when I see her I still think she is the most beautiful women I ever seen and still fantasise about the marriage working but deep down I know it can't because we really are chalk and cheese, will the feeling of guilt ever go away to allow you to move on, any advice welcome

    guilt would be weird (and exactly what are you going to do about it?), mourning however would not, and its perfectly natural to mourn a relationship as you would a person.

    personally i think its unwise for you to be around your ex during this process given your feelings for her, imagine trying to mourn a loved one while seeing them around the town - it would be impossible - so certainly remain on good terms, but try to get some distance for the time being.

    my ex-wife (silly, university thing with no kids or house involved) is one of my best friends, but it took about four years before we we able to bury/expunge all the feelings that got us together and broke us apart.

    its not quick, but the sooner you get on with it the sooner you'l be able to go to the pub with her without crying or sleeping with her.


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