Why the hell do the toilets in nightclubs NEVER lock???

hatrickpatrick · 20-07-2009 5:27am #1

Seriously... do they actually never do any maintenance in these places? I've been out a lot this year and I have yet to encounter a club in which the locks on the toilet cubicles actually worked. It's kind of awkward doing your business when you have to either press the door closed constantly with your foot, or else keep reaching out to bang it closed. It gets even more complicated if for whatever reason you didn't want to or couldn't use the urinal and have to pee in a cubicle - much harder to keep it closed when you're standing with your back to the door. And if some moron tries to open it and rams you in the back with the door while you're doing your business... Messy.

What's the deal? Do they just never bother fixing them? Or is there some master gang out there whose sole purpose in life is to visit each nightclub a few times a week and destroy the doorlocks?

brendansmith · 20-07-2009 5:36am

Agreed, its not good for business

Frelance · 20-07-2009 5:42am

It stops people lighting up or taking drugs in the cubicles. Alot of clubs dont bother fixing them so they can send the bouncers in to have a look

Cabaal · 20-07-2009 8:30am

scumbags keep breaking the locks thats why, management get sick of repairing stuff the people just keep breaking each night.

Bottom line blame the scumbags

MagicMarker · 20-07-2009 8:32am

If there's a toilet seat then I'm happy.

laugh · 20-07-2009 8:46am

Cabaal wrote: »

scumbags keep breaking the locks thats why, management get sick of repairing stuff the people just keep breaking each night.

Bottom line blame the scumbags

They need some muck-savage who welds tractors back together to make the locks, toilet roll dispensers and toilet seats, make them feckin tough, the little slide over bolts they install in most cases wouldn't even last on a wendy house.

OldGoat · 20-07-2009 9:04am

Sounds more like you need to go to better quality clubs.

topper75 · 20-07-2009 9:27am

laugh wrote: »

They need some muck-savage who welds tractors back together to make the locks, toilet roll dispensers and toilet seats, make them feckin tough, the little slide over bolts they install in most cases wouldn't even last on a wendy house.

My old man used to weld tractors back together for a living. Wouldn't be cheap mind you!

It used to be embarrasing going around shops and markets with him as a kid when he would 'test out' merchandise in front of the seller and deride them to their face if their merchandise didn't pass his test.

I always laugh and think of him when I see those 'if you break it, you bought it' signs. His take on it was 'If I break it, you have insulted me by having substandard goods for sale'.

He's a bit anti-drink so I dunno if he would make the objects you require though.

I hear your plight. God knows you pay enough in there so you are entitled to expect maintenance on facilities.

Relevant · 20-07-2009 9:40am

As someone else said it is to stop people doing coke, smoking or riding in the cubicles. Also allows bouncers easy entry if there is anything untoward going on.

My recommendation is lay off the pear bulmers, who takes a sh!t in a nightclub!

Munster_Gal · 20-07-2009 9:43am

I would have said it's in case people pass out in the cubicles - just so that they can be taken out of there without trying to break the door down on top of them. And also the sex and drugs aspect of it as well!

masonman · 20-07-2009 9:46am

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

I've been out a lot this year and I have yet to encounter a club in which the locks on the toilet cubicles actually worked

Well I've never heard of anyone trying to steal a Sh*te before

El Weirdo · 20-07-2009 10:47am

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

It gets even more complicated if for whatever reason you didn't want to or couldn't use the urinal and have to pee in a cubicle - much harder to keep it closed when you're standing with your back to the door. And if some moron tries to open it and rams you in the back with the door while you're doing your business... Messy.

Why not just leave the door open if you're only taking a leak? Still more privacy than the urinals, no?

masonman · 20-07-2009 11:09am

Broken locks on jack's doors? You may want to assume the "Superman Sh!t" position

Hovering over the bowl, keks around legs with one hand out to stop the door if someone tries to push it in.

Not your finest moment - by a long shot.

I have a feeling you've played Superman before without even knowing it

gazzer · 20-07-2009 11:16am

Has anybody ever been to the Front Lounge pub on Parliament St in Dublin? There are no locks on the cubicle doors. Never have been. I always find it really strange. You would need to be a contortionist to have a dump and keep your hand on the door at the same time

El Weirdo · 20-07-2009 11:18am

Anyway, I normally take a dump in the ladies bogs in my local as they're usually cleaner and have a functioning lock...

builttospill · 20-07-2009 11:19am

The Front Lounge is a gay bar isn't it?

Hmmm...

gazzer · 20-07-2009 11:21am

builttospill wrote: »

The Front Lounge is a gay bar isn't it?

Hmmm...

Its a conspiracy

Dragan · 20-07-2009 11:23am

If you have ever had to go over the top of a door because some witless retard passed out in a cubicle you will understand.

About 70% of the clubs i worked in had all the locks broken, and about 30% of those locks were broken by me putting the door in the get some retard out at closing time. Not all clubs have head room, or even decent locks that can be opened from the outside.

brandon_flowers · 20-07-2009 11:42am

Count yourself lucky to have a cubicle, I was in a pub in before where there was no cubicle around the bowl and a urinal 4 feet away on the wall, and it wasnt as if there was a cubicle there before because the wall had no markings or fixings. Nearly sure it was in some part of Leitrim we stopped there on the way home from a National League game in Ballybofey.

Nuggles · 20-07-2009 12:12pm

It's one of the reasons women go to the bathroom in pairs. So one can hold the door for the other if necessary.

Other reasons include chatting,sneaking drink and fixing one another's hair.

And of course, as all men know, for hot make out sessions.

AnonoBoy · 20-07-2009 12:29pm

Nuggles wrote: »

And of course, as all men know, for hot make out sessions.

Ugh no! Not in the bathrooms.

That's what sleepovers are for.

topper75 · 20-07-2009 2:47pm

brandon_flowers wrote: »

Count yourself lucky to have a cubicle, I was in a pub in before where there was no cubicle around the bowl and a urinal 4 feet away on the wall, and it wasnt as if there was a cubicle there before because the wall had no markings or fixings. Nearly sure it was in some part of Leitrim we stopped there on the way home from a National League game in Ballybofey.

There it is see. There is your problem, right there.

Why the hell do the toilets in nightclubs NEVER lock???

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