Honesty, it's the 21st century!

Jafin

Went to Tralee a few nights ago with a friend to visit another friend from college. We went out, just did the usual drinks in a pub then off to the club (Fabric). Towards the end of the night I headed upstairs to top dancefloor where they play the oldies music (as I call it :P Only song I can actually remember is Footloose) but had a mad laugh dancing craply to the music! But I digress, most of my friends know I'm bi and have no problem with it, but I'd never been with a guy in any way, not even kissed or anything.

So about 10 minutes before the music stopped I walked onto the dancefloor with my friend and her cousin, this guy they both knew came up and grabbed my hand and my friends and we both danced with him for a few minutes, then he let go of her and was chattin away to me, usual stuff I spose asking was I a gay man, said I was bi etc. etc.
He asked if he could be bold and then planted one on me and we shuffled over to a corner of the dancefloor. Could hear talking behind us but didnt pay much attention to what was being said.

My friend and her cousin were behind us though and heard people passing by commenting about how disgusting it was and even the DJ up in his booth was pointing and making disgusted faces. My friends cousin was disgusted at their behaviour and gave out stink to them all inside and then tried to start up with them again outside.

The guy who I had been kissing felt bad and actually apologised for having put me in that position since it was my first guy kiss.

Point is: I was actually surprised this happened. That someone in this day and age had been made to feel that he had to actually apologise for kissing me because of the small minded people of this world.

I thought that as the years went on the generations were becoming more accepting of sexual orientations different to their own, I mean Im only 20 so im not that advanced in my years yet!

Thanks to anybody who had the patience to read through my long spiel, just had to voice it out and get it out of my system. I know people have probably made a ton of threads about it already.

karlog

Yeh Tralee is a town where you'd probably get lynched for that if there wasn't laws against it.

Oh and did you notice downstairs in fabric. It smells like 100 wet dogs ran through the place. The place is a **** and the people there are ****'s so dont be too surprised.

Jafin

karlog wrote: »

Yeh Tralee is a town where you'd probably get lynched for that if there wasn't laws against it.

Oh and did you notice downstairs in fabric. It smells like 100 wet dogs ran through the place. The place is a **** and the people there are ****'s so dont be too surprised.

I have been told to keep an eye out whenever Im down in Tralee, people could come at you for no reason! F**k it though, as long as nobody bothers me I wont bother them.

I didnt notice a smell in Fabric last Friday but I did when I was down a few weeks ago but it was gone after a few minutes. Been there 3 times now I think and I only got a smell there once.

oisindoyle

Jafin wrote: »

Went to Tralee a few nights ago with a friend to visit another friend from college. We went out, just did the usual drinks in a pub then off to the club (Fabric). Towards the end of the night I headed upstairs to top dancefloor where they play the oldies music (as I call it :P Only song I can actually remember is Footloose) but had a mad laugh dancing craply to the music! But I digress, most of my friends know I'm bi and have no problem with it, but I'd never been with a guy in any way, not even kissed or anything.

So about 10 minutes before the music stopped I walked onto the dancefloor with my friend and her cousin, this guy they both knew came up and grabbed my hand and my friends and we both danced with him for a few minutes, then he let go of her and was chattin away to me, usual stuff I spose asking was I a gay man, said I was bi etc. etc.
He asked if he could be bold and then planted one on me and we shuffled over to a corner of the dancefloor. Could hear talking behind us but didnt pay much attention to what was being said.

My friend and her cousin were behind us though and heard people passing by commenting about how disgusting it was and even the DJ up in his booth was pointing and making disgusted faces. My friends cousin was disgusted at their behaviour and gave out stink to them all inside and then tried to start up with them again outside.

The guy who I had been kissing felt bad and actually apologised for having put me in that position since it was my first guy kiss.

Point is: I was actually surprised this happened. That someone in this day and age had been made to feel that he had to actually apologise for kissing me because of the small minded people of this world.

I thought that as the years went on the generations were becoming more accepting of sexual orientations different to their own, I mean Im only 20 so im not that advanced in my years yet!

Thanks to anybody who had the patience to read through my long spiel, just had to voice it out and get it out of my system. I know people have probably made a ton of threads about it already.

Thats truely awful .You kissed a guy so what ,its not like you were kicking the s*** out of him .If as you say the DJ was making fun of you and making faces ect ect ,,I would not let it pass .I would contact the management of the club and make a complaint and demand an apology from the DJ and the club.I would even go as far as saying you will got to the media ..
You may not want to do this for various reasons ,but if you do do it and I urge you to ,you are making a stand for others as well .
Basically what you experienced was homophobia and until you and others make a stand ,it will continue

Tricity Bendix

Jafin wrote: »

Went to Tralee a few nights ago with a friend to visit another friend from college. We went out, just did the usual drinks in a pub then off to the club (Fabric). Towards the end of the night I headed upstairs to top dancefloor where they play the oldies music (as I call it :P Only song I can actually remember is Footloose) but had a mad laugh dancing craply to the music! But I digress, most of my friends know I'm bi and have no problem with it, but I'd never been with a guy in any way, not even kissed or anything.

So about 10 minutes before the music stopped I walked onto the dancefloor with my friend and her cousin, this guy they both knew came up and grabbed my hand and my friends and we both danced with him for a few minutes, then he let go of her and was chattin away to me, usual stuff I spose asking was I a gay man, said I was bi etc. etc.
He asked if he could be bold and then planted one on me and we shuffled over to a corner of the dancefloor. Could hear talking behind us but didnt pay much attention to what was being said.

My friend and her cousin were behind us though and heard people passing by commenting about how disgusting it was and even the DJ up in his booth was pointing and making disgusted faces. My friends cousin was disgusted at their behaviour and gave out stink to them all inside and then tried to start up with them again outside.

The guy who I had been kissing felt bad and actually apologised for having put me in that position since it was my first guy kiss.

Point is: I was actually surprised this happened. That someone in this day and age had been made to feel that he had to actually apologise for kissing me because of the small minded people of this world.

I thought that as the years went on the generations were becoming more accepting of sexual orientations different to their own, I mean Im only 20 so im not that advanced in my years yet!

Thanks to anybody who had the patience to read through my long spiel, just had to voice it out and get it out of my system. I know people have probably made a ton of threads about it already.

Similar thing happened to me the first time I kissed a bloke in Ireland. And I was in a studenty bar in Dublin city centre.

Homophobia is alive and well here. It won't be the last time you encounter it.

LaFleur

Jafin wrote: »

My friend and her cousin were behind us though and heard people passing by commenting about how disgusting it was and even the DJ up in his booth was pointing and making disgusted faces.

It’s sad that in today’s world we still have the small mind attitude prevailing.

I think people will always take issue with things that aren't the norm. What we need to do, is make it the norm!

I think the gay community needs to stand tall, and if we feel like it - why not be affectionate with someone you're with? The more people who do, the more "normal" it will become to society; and hopefully with that, no one will be batting an eye lid in future.

Ashlinggnilsia

You see thats something im worried about my brother is gay and he lives in cork hes 22 and im 20 im worried that some scumbags will see him someday with is boyfriend or coming out of a gay club and attack him.... Im not a shnak or anything and ive never actually been in a physical fight but one thing that makes me snap is people saying or doing anything to the people i love or care about i just wouldnt stand for it and im tellin ya now if i was your sister and i was there that night i probly wuda been arrested!!ha ha ha!! I'd just snap and Im not physically strong at all but like i know that when i snap thats it, it wouldnt matter to me how many times i wud b hit i would keep gettin up!! Not sayin i would start physically fighting them i would shout at them but if anyone ever attacked my brother and i was around they would be sorry!! Im not promoting violence either by the way but it just p*sses me off so much how ignorant people can be!

Jafin

Ashlinggnilsia wrote: »

You see thats something im worried about my brother is gay and he lives in cork hes 22 and im 20 im worried that some scumbags will see him someday with is boyfriend or coming out of a gay club and attack him.... Im not a shnak or anything and ive never actually been in a physical fight but one thing that makes me snap is people saying or doing anything to the people i love or care about i just wouldnt stand for it and im tellin ya now if i was your sister and i was there that night i probly wuda been arrested!!ha ha ha!! I'd just snap and Im not physically strong at all but like i know that when i snap thats it, it wouldnt matter to me how many times i wud b hit i would keep gettin up!! Not sayin i would start physically fighting them i would shout at them but if anyone ever attacked my brother and i was around they would be sorry!! Im not promoting violence either by the way but it just p*sses me off so much how ignorant people can be!

I wouldnt be too worried about it in Cork, its one of the major cities so bound to have a bigger gay scene, especially with the amount of students, I mean what else is college for if not expermientation? Oh and the learnings....lol

Tralee is just a bit more.....I dunno violent or something. Im not putting it down, I love going there, but people who live there have even told me this.

Ashlinggnilsia

ya i know! My uncle is gay too though i have heard some of the stories of what has happened to him over the years and i just hope nothing like that ever happens to anyone 1 know and i hope i never see that kind of behaviour! cos i wont b a happy bunni!!

Jafin

Ashlinggnilsia wrote: »

ya i know! My uncle is gay too though i have heard some of the stories of what has happened to him over the years and i just hope nothing like that ever happens to anyone 1 know and i hope i never see that kind of behaviour! cos i wont b a happy bunni!!

It was a different generation for your uncle though, Im gonna guess that he is at least in his mid thirties or older, homophobia was rampant back then, I can still remember when it actually became legal. Even though back then I didnt know I was bi, the image has always stuck in my head when it became legal in an episode of Fair City back when I was fairly young.

Ashlinggnilsia

hes livin in london hes at least in his mid 40's id say but like some of the stuff was fairly recent like he got on a bus and a teenager in a school uniform got up and punched him as he was walkin off the bus and when he went to the bus driver and told him he wanted to make a complaint about it he told my uncle to get back to his seat and said the cameras were turned off/not workin

Jafin

Ashlinggnilsia wrote: »

hes livin in london hes at least in his mid 40's id say but like some of the stuff was fairly recent like he got on a bus and a teenager in a school uniform got up and punched him as he was walkin off the bus and when he went to the bus driver and told him he wanted to make a complaint about it he told my uncle to get back to his seat and said the cameras were turned off/not workin

Thats ridiculous I wouldnt have stood for that!

Ashlinggnilsia

I know but shur what else could he do!! Shur the bus driver would believed him that it happened but just either cudnt b arsed or didnt like gay people because to be fair my uncle is very eccentric and you would no he was gay its quite obvious and shur there wud have been no point going to the cops about it if the bus driver wasnt even willing to help... It just goes to show there still is a huge amount of rotten people still out there!

Jafin

Ashlinggnilsia wrote: »

I know but shur what else could he do!! Shur the bus driver would believed him that it happened but just either cudnt b arsed or didnt like gay people because to be fair my uncle is very eccentric and you would no he was gay its quite obvious and shur there wud have been no point going to the cops about it if the bus driver wasnt even willing to help... It just goes to show there still is a huge amount of rotten people still out there!

Very true! I think the whole reason people make fun of gay men is because the stereotype is that they're all flamboyant and dress up in drag, talk like women and go around with limp wrists the whole time. Now theres nothing wrong with this at all, I just think it makes them an easier target for the younger scumbags that are out there.

Untense

Jafin wrote: »

Went to Tralee a few nights ago with a friend to visit another friend from college. We went out, just did the usual drinks in a pub then off to the club (Fabric). Towards the end of the night I headed upstairs to top dancefloor where they play the oldies music (as I call it :P Only song I can actually remember is Footloose) but had a mad laugh dancing craply to the music! But I digress, most of my friends know I'm bi and have no problem with it, but I'd never been with a guy in any way, not even kissed or anything.

So about 10 minutes before the music stopped I walked onto the dancefloor with my friend and her cousin, this guy they both knew came up and grabbed my hand and my friends and we both danced with him for a few minutes, then he let go of her and was chattin away to me, usual stuff I spose asking was I a gay man, said I was bi etc. etc.
He asked if he could be bold and then planted one on me and we shuffled over to a corner of the dancefloor. Could hear talking behind us but didnt pay much attention to what was being said.

My friend and her cousin were behind us though and heard people passing by commenting about how disgusting it was and even the DJ up in his booth was pointing and making disgusted faces. My friends cousin was disgusted at their behaviour and gave out stink to them all inside and then tried to start up with them again outside.

The guy who I had been kissing felt bad and actually apologised for having put me in that position since it was my first guy kiss.

Point is: I was actually surprised this happened. That someone in this day and age had been made to feel that he had to actually apologise for kissing me because of the small minded people of this world.

I thought that as the years went on the generations were becoming more accepting of sexual orientations different to their own, I mean Im only 20 so im not that advanced in my years yet!

Thanks to anybody who had the patience to read through my long spiel, just had to voice it out and get it out of my system. I know people have probably made a ton of threads about it already.

It might be the 21st century but the kind of people who go out to listen to 'Footloose' in a smelly club are not usually of the 21st century.;)

I think it was nice to hear that two people were happy to do that even with all the reactions around the room.
I'm also really glad to hear that you weren't physically attacked.
We are well able to complain about how it's a god awful shame that that's the way it is, but that is the way it is in many places around the world at the moment. It's changed hugely, for one thing it's not illegal, but you'd be deluded to think it's gone.
Society's conditioning doesn't change overnight, and if you don't want to experience that sort of reaction in a public place the only way you can be sure you won't is to avoid PDA's altogether.

Some people might say what you did was a brave gesture, and others might say what you did was waving it in people's faces. They'd both be right depending on how they look at it.

Jafin

Untense wrote: »

It might be the 21st century but the kind of people who go out to listen to 'Footloose' in a smelly club are not usually of the 21st century.;)

I think it was nice to hear that two people were happy to do that even with all the reactions around the room, and I think that's something that's nice to hear.
I'm also really glad to hear that you weren't physically attacked.
We are well able to complain about how it's a god awful shame that that's the way it is, but that is the way it is in many places around the world at the moment. It's changed hugely, for one thing it's not illegal, but you'd be deluded to think it's gone.
Society's conditioning doesn't change overnight, and if you don't want to experience that sort of reaction in a public place the only way you can be sure you won't is to avoid PDA's altogether.

Some people might say what you did was a brave gesture, and others might say what you did was waving it in people's faces. They'd both be right depending on how they look at it.

I guess, but all the people up on that dancefloor were around my age too (20's)
Meh, I guess I just wanted to get my anger out of my system, hence the rant.

LegacyUser

I wouldn't put up with such disgusting homophobia. The club in question need to make a formal apology. Is Tralee town a cesspit of homophobia generally or was it just this club in particular?

This "Fabric" dive should be exposed in the media. No one should put up with this type of crap in 2009.

JupiterKid

Jafin wrote: »

I guess, but all the people up on that dancefloor were around my age too (20's)
Meh, I guess I just wanted to get my anger out of my system, hence the rant.

Somehow I don't think Kerry is a particularly enlightened part of the country in any way.:(

That's why the gayers flock from thick ignorant rural backwaters (and yes, I incluse Tralee as one of these) to the more enlightened cities like Dublin, Cork and Galway. In 2009, no same sex couple should be subjected to such overt homophobia.

Starfox

Its think its the same for most places, the smaller the town the more backwards it is, people are more accepting where you find more people, because where you find more people you find more varied people, and therefore anything goes and most dont really give a **** unless they are narrow minded... or the biggy which is a closet themselves!

Monkey61

Untense wrote: »

Society's conditioning doesn't change overnight, and if you don't want to experience that sort of reaction in a public place the only way you can be sure you won't is to avoid PDA's altogether.

Some people might say what you did was a brave gesture, and others might say what you did was waving it in people's faces. They'd both be right depending on how they look at it.

I'd say if you don't want to experience that sort of reaction in a public place then society better be forced to get used to it pretty quickly. The only way to normalize homosexuality for people is to make sure that they see it and are aware of it in their everyday lives. As a previous poster said, bring on the PDAs if that is what is necessary!

Incidentally OP I totally understand. It is mental to think that the world is still like that. Myself and my girlfriend were screamed at in the train station the other day by two girls standing on the opposite platform. A magnificent shouting match ensued across the tracks as we were quizzed as to our sexuality and why we had kissed a moment previously. Ah yes...nothing like teenagers lecturing you about how it is meant to be boy/girl and not girl/girl and wanting to know how you became gay to start the morning! I don't really mind though, christ if I can open their minds and normalize it even a little bit, I have achieved something in my day!