No bridesmaids/groomsmen for wedding abroad?

The Big Red Button

I'm planning to get married abroad, but not for a couple of years.

I don't want to have any bridesmaids/groomsmen for the following reasons:

• My fiance has no brothers, one cousin who he's extremely close to, and two best friends. I have three sisters, one best friend that I am unbelievably close to and she would have to be my bridesmaid if anyone, and five close friends who I would love to have as bridesmaids. However I'd feel bad about asking my best friend to be bridesmaid if I wasn't asking my sisters also. So basically, numerically, it doesn't work out. And yes, we don't have to have a matching number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, but ...

• We'lll only be inviting a few people - maybe 20 in total. The people we're inviting are only the ones we care about a lot, so isn't it a bit bitchy to go picking and choosing between them when there's so few? Anyone I'm inviting, I want them to be a major part of our wedding day - and each of them equally so.

I'm just wondering, has anyone else had a wedding without bridesmaids and groomsmen? Any practical difficulties?

Thanks!

tannytantans

Hi

I know a few people who have had no bridesmaids/groomsmen for various reasons and as far as I know they had no difficulties.

You'll probably need your sisters though to help you out with with various bits and bobs like the bridesmaid would.

Also usually the bridesmais and bestman act as witnesses so you'd have to choose two people to do this - people often pick parents.

Your wedding - so it's up to you!

Terodil

Depends on the place. I just checked:

http://www.essen.de/Deutsch/Rathaus/Aemter/Ordner_33/Standesamt/Sind_Trauzeugen_erforderlich.asp

--> not required in Germany.

esharknz

I'm not having any and also having a wedding abroad. We've 14 people (max) coming, so decided there wasn't much point.
also, OH had noone he wanted to ask really. We'll ask someone to hold the flowers and rings.

We are trying to involve all siblings though through having an extra reading/asking some to witness etc.

The Big Red Button

esharknz wrote: »

I'm not having any and also having a wedding abroad. We've 14 people (max) coming, so decided there wasn't much point.
also, OH had noone he wanted to ask really. We'll ask someone to hold the flowers and rings.

We are trying to involve all siblings though through having an extra reading/asking some to witness etc.

See I'm planning on involving every single person we invite in some way! I think that's much nicer than making half the people we invite part of the "wedding party", and excluding the others.

The Big Red Button

tannytantans wrote: »

Hi
You'll probably need your sisters though to help you out with with various bits and bobs like the bridesmaid would.

The thing is there - my sisters are a lot younger than me, so I couldn't count on them for that anyways - it would be my friends I'd ask to help, moreso. But at the same time I'm close to my sisters, so I'd feel bad asking my friends to be bridesmaids but not my sisters!

echosound

We didn't have any bridesmaids/groomsmen at our wedding, I'm an only child so no siblings on my side to ask, and we didn't want a huge wedding anyway, so didn't see any point in including/excluding anyone when the numbers of guests were going to be kept fairly low anyway, much like yourself.

Having said that, we had a civil ceremony, so all we essentially needed were 2 witnesses to sign the register. No practical difficulties whatsoever for us by not having any BMs or GMs - even cut out some of the headache you normally associate with wedding planning, eg trying to pick dresses for BMs that would keep everyone happy, getting suits for the GMs, etc.

You don't need to give people official "titles" for the day to get them involved in the planning etc, just ask who you think would like to help out with whatever bits you need organising (we had various family members help sort things like flowers, cake, transport, etc., and all were more than happy to help out). Best of luck with the planning

prinz

Bridesmaids and groomsmen etc., are not required here either. Getting married in Germany and aren't having any. Probably won't be a best man or maid of honour either. All we need is a witness signatory. Nothing else.