Bestman info!

Four of a kind

I'm best man for my mate's wedding on 29th August, so I've started to prepare and write my speech.

I would like help in knowing what order do I introduce the speakers etc?

I've been informed that the father of the bride, the groom and myself will be the only one's giving the speech. For some reason the FoGroom won't be saying a word!

I would also like to know whats the best time to do the speeches? I've heard that before the meal is better? but others then have said that after the meal and just around dessert time is the best time?

I aim to have my speech last 5 mins which is plenty of time imo. I don't want anyone getting bored etc.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

tannytantans

Hi,

I know when my friend was being a bestman he used this site http://www.hitched.co.uk/speeches/samples/samplespeechhome.aspx. It has sample speeches that you can read through to get an idea.

Also with the before/after it reall depends on what the bridal party want. Having them before is a good if the party will be nervous - means they can enjoy their dinner. However I was at a wedding recently where the speeches were before the dinner and everyone was absolutely starving and couldn't wait for them to end!

kenco

usually the speeches are at the end of the meal or during deserts however this seems to be not as fixed as it used to be. I have seen speeches before the food (so everyone enjoys the meal) and speeches over the course of the entire meal!

Depends really on the crowd. If the speeches are short I would do them altogether and just agree in advance with those who want to speak and the bride/groom when they want them.

emma82

hi, there are some hotels that wont allow you make speeches before the meal- only afterwards as they have a service time to abide by! One hotel me and OH were looking at charge the B&G 50c per head for every 15 mins the guests were 'late' to be seated!!! So be careful- def ask the wedding party for input.

Whatever you decide on for speech (I think 5 mins is perfect) sound it out on someone first- nothin worst than someone who panicks then starts going on and on and on & you totally lose crowd!

kittykat84

For my sisters wedding they had the speeches after the soup. This allowed the best man (who was sick with nerves and out to the toilet every few minutes!) and father of the bride get it over with and actually enjoy the rest of the dinner without the nerves. It also allowed the guests to have a bit to eat to ease the hunger pains before the speeches! kept speeches short and sweet. also gave the kitchen a break between courses. I find when speeches are before dinner everyone is starving and willing them to finish.do whatever suits ye. Just make sure to let the camera man and hotel/chef know whatever ye decide.:o

seamus

Four of a kind wrote: »

I would like help in knowing what order do I introduce the speakers etc?

The very first thing you do is welcome the couple to the reception. Ordinarily all of the guests are present and sitting before the bride & groom arrive, and you basically ask everyone to stand up and welcome them to the reception (cue clapping, whistling, etc)

Then before the speeches, you would talk for 30 seconds - introduce yourself (remember that some people may not actually know who you are and why you're speaking) and if required mention anything else they need to know - my brother had an impromptu table quiz at his - basically every table had a list of funny questions about the bride and groom, which each table filled out. With the aim being of course to have people discussing the couple.

So he mentioned that to everyone at the start and then after the meal, he announced the answers and winners before starting the speeches - warmed up the crowd a bit, especially by picking out a couple of funny answers.

I would also like to know whats the best time to do the speeches? I've heard that before the meal is better? but others then have said that after the meal and just around dessert time is the best time?

It's really up to the bride and groom. They've otherwise probably timed the day, so they'll already have factored that in.

Remember that you also need to read out messages from people who couldn't make it. People often do these between courses (starter and main) because they only take a couple of minutes, but you can also do them before the speeches.

Most people choose to do the speeches after dessert has been served, but again it depends on what the couple want.

Ronan|Raven

I have to be bestman at my mates wedding next year.. I am dreading the speech!

Four of a kind

Ronan|Raven wrote: »

I have to be bestman at my mates wedding next year.. I am dreading the speech!

when i was asked 13 months ago i was crapping myself at the thought of the speech...but now that its only 5 weeks away i'm actually looking forward to getting it over and done with.
I think the main reason for nevers is the fact that you've nothing prepared yet(obviously). When you do then you'll find that the nerves disappear. At the end of the day...if it was an unprepared speech then anyone would be dreading it. But you've got month's to research and prepare it. You'll do fine.

Four of a kind

seamus wrote: »

The very first thing you do is welcome the couple to the reception. Ordinarily all of the guests are present and sitting before the bride & groom arrive, and you basically ask everyone to stand up and welcome them to the reception (cue clapping, whistling, etc)

Then before the speeches, you would talk for 30 seconds - introduce yourself (remember that some people may not actually know who you are and why you're speaking) and if required mention anything else they need to know - my brother had an impromptu table quiz at his - basically every table had a list of funny questions about the bride and groom, which each table filled out. With the aim being of course to have people discussing the couple.

So he mentioned that to everyone at the start and then after the meal, he announced the answers and winners before starting the speeches - warmed up the crowd a bit, especially by picking out a couple of funny answers.
It's really up to the bride and groom. They've otherwise probably timed the day, so they'll already have factored that in.

Remember that you also need to read out messages from people who couldn't make it. People often do these between courses (starter and main) because they only take a couple of minutes, but you can also do them before the speeches.

Most people choose to do the speeches after dessert has been served, but again it depends on what the couple want.

Thats good to know regarding introducing the bride and groom as they enter the reception...never knew that.

What else do I have to talk on the mic about? What do I say when its time to cut the cake?

Four of a kind

whats the best words to use when I've to welcome the bride and groom into the reception?
I know that this will probably be the first time I get to speak into the mic at the reception so I would like to know what to say to the guests to help ease my mic nerves!

ciaran_otoole

The best thing to do is to check with the hotel. Normally the practice now is for the manager on duty to announce the wedding party. It's handier for them to do it becuase they start off by highlighting where the emergency exits are, etc.

Generally the first time you get the mic is to say grace. This is done by either the priest (if present) or the father of the bride.

I'm best man in a few weeks as well, so here's to a good day out for both of us

Four of a kind

ciaran_otoole wrote: »

The best thing to do is to check with the hotel. Normally the practice now is for the manager on duty to announce the wedding party. It's handier for them to do it becuase they start off by highlighting where the emergency exits are, etc.

Generally the first time you get the mic is to say grace. This is done by either the priest (if present) or the father of the bride.

I'm best man in a few weeks as well, so here's to a good day out for both of us

I'll drink to that mate!!!

Rock Climber

lol I'm doing this today..
and writing my speech now :o

Dunno what I'd have done without this place!
plagarism abu!

if theres any other threads I need to see,could ye let me know if I haven't found them in the next hour or so.

/last minute!

Porkpie

I'm a best man too, have to do it in November. Dreading the thoughts of it as I'm terrified of public speaking! A 5 minute speech was mentioned already. Is 5minutes not dragging it out a little? I'd imagine 3-4 minutes would be better.

seamus

You'd be surprised how quickly a 5-minute speech passes, especially if you speak slowly and clearly. Most people would be capable of reading 5 or 6 A4 pages of text in about five minutes....in their head. Say it out loud, and say it with extra diction (as opposed to reading it as fast as you can), and you'd be lucky to get through one A4 page.

Try it. Print out an article or open a book. Set a timer for five minutes and start reading it in your head. When the timer goes off, mark your spot.

Now set the timer again, and read it aloud - slowly and clearly as if you were reading to a class full of five year olds. Mark it again when the timer goes off and notice the difference.

Oh and if you're not used to reading or otherwise orating in front of people, yes you will feel really, really weird and stupid doing this on your own. Like hearing a recording of yourself for the first time, you might be embarrassed even if no-one else is around. Make sure you do it a number of times on your own to get yourself comfortable with the idea at all. Then maybe give it a go in front or your partner or someone you can equally rely on to not burst out laughing at you.

Harpic

I did bestman at two weddings.I hated doing them but i didnt want to offend by not.
Usually bestman speeches are at the end so most of the audience will be drunk or tired of the speeches at that stage or both.
So you can get away with it being short.
I found writing out the hole speech verbatim as a no no.It never goes according to plan and you get lost as to where you are and you tend to skip lines or change them on the spot(especially if you are drunkish).
I think by putting the headings of the topics you want to cover down on paper in front of you is a good option but practise it in full beforehand obviously.
Cover the niceties first ,complimenting the hotel ,food,bridesmaids,bride etc.
Stick to just a few stories ,good ones and funny ones,using the table where the rest of you mates are as a rebound.They will jeer and laugh etc
My rule of thumb is talk with the groom beforehand to tell him of your general approach just to make sure he is ok with it.He is probably dredding his

Porkpie

seamus wrote: »

You'd be surprised how quickly a 5-minute speech passes, especially if you speak slowly and clearly. Most people would be capable of reading 5 or 6 A4 pages of text in about five minutes....in their head. Say it out loud, and say it with extra diction (as opposed to reading it as fast as you can), and you'd be lucky to get through one A4 page.

Try it. Print out an article or open a book. Set a timer for five minutes and start reading it in your head. When the timer goes off, mark your spot.

Now set the timer again, and read it aloud - slowly and clearly as if you were reading to a class full of five year olds. Mark it again when the timer goes off and notice the difference.

Oh and if you're not used to reading or otherwise orating in front of people, yes you will feel really, really weird and stupid doing this on your own. Like hearing a recording of yourself for the first time, you might be embarrassed even if no-one else is around. Make sure you do it a number of times on your own to get yourself comfortable with the idea at all. Then maybe give it a go in front or your partner or someone you can equally rely on to not burst out laughing at you.

Cheers Seamus, you have a point I guess. I'll do as advised. I even bought a dictaphone. Don't laugh!