In a relationship and extremely confused

LegacyUser

I'm in my mid 20s and i've been going out with my girlfriend for 4 years.

As a teenager when all of my mates were pulling girls left right and centre, i wasn't into that. I always wanted to meet nice girls who i could have a laugh with and form a relationship with. That might sound weird, but kissing random girls didnt do it for me and sleeping around certainly didn't. My best friends cheat on their girlfriends ALL THE TIME. My best mate has been with his other half for 7 years and cheats every weekend. But i never have.

I've been in several relationships and now i have met the girl of my dreams. She's amazing in every way. I love her SO much.

Now, cutting to the chase, i love my girlfriend but i feel like i want to be with other girls too. I've never cheated on anybody before but this last while i feel like i want to experience being with other girls. Maybe it's because i never have? I'm not sure.

I've had this feeling for a while. I get flirted with all the time and have actually had out straight offers, but i have never gone through with it. I'm not sure i can. I love my girlfriend, she is the most amazing person i have ever met...........

........ has anyone ever gone through this?

CDfm

Well OP if you want to cheat then that is up to you but the risk you take with infidelity is that if your GF finds out she will end the relationship.

So cheat by all means but do so knowing that there are consequences.

I am surprised someone has not asked how you would feel if your gf cheated. Well how would you feel and would you break up with her?

LegacyUser

If she cheated i'd be devestated and i'd break up with her, and i know she'd be exactly the same.

She's great and doesnt deserve to be cheated on, and even though i've been like this for 2 years now, i havent cheated. But i cant help these feelings and i'm totally head-fecked!

thefeatheredcat

OP,

Just because your friends are cheating, doesn't mean you have to follow the heard! There's nothing too appealing about how they treat their girlfriends, and certainly not a standard to live up to.

Cheat if you want to but risk throwing away the last 4 years of your relationship. That's a lot of hurt to put someone you supposedly 'love' through. Cheaters usually get caught one way or another. And can you deal with the guilt (assuming that you would feel any way guilty)?

If you feel that you want to explore with other girls, end the relationship and sow your oats.

Have a bit more respect for your girlfriend! I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy if she was considering this.

Look at it this way - are you willing to risk losing someone you really care for and love (and lose the trust, confidence, loyalty and faithfulness) for the sake of sex with another person????

CDfm

Unregistered wrote: »

If she cheated i'd be devestated and i'd break up with her, and i know she'd be exactly the same.

She's great and doesnt deserve to be cheated on, and even though i've been like this for 2 years now, i havent cheated. But i cant help these feelings and i'm totally head-fecked!

So by acting on these feelings you know what the outcome will be and your willing to take the risk.

The ball is in your court.

thefeatheredcat

Unregistered wrote: »

i love my girlfriend but i feel like i want to be with other girls too.

Re-read post and just wanted to ask - is it just that you want to have sex with other girls? Or that you want to see if there's something more you could have from a relationship with someone else?

if it's just sexual urges, maybe you just need to spice up your sexlife a bit? Depends on how open minded she and you are....?

Wagon

I'm pretty much the same as you and what you've described. I am not a bloke to go and score girls every weekend and i tried the one night thing on two seperate occaisions and found it crap. I'd never do it again. So when i look at other birds i ask if i want a relationship with them or just sex and end the one im in. I never do cos i love my missus and would never sacrafice us for anything.

So ask yourself, are you just wanting to sleep with other women or want a different relationship?

SarahSassy

It would seem that you are too young / immature (dont mean it in a nasty way) to be in a long term settled relationship. You have been wishing for something to spice up your life for the past 2 years and maybe its time to finish with your gf and give it a go..

Whatever you do, dont go down the cheating route, if she finds out that can mess her head up and her future relationships up for life.

Why dont you finish, sow your wild oats and if ye both want to get back in the future then so be it.

SS

PS TBH, you will find the singles scene pretty unwhelming after a short period of time but maybe you need to experiecne it to understand.

racheypachey

it's normal to be attracte to other people, just dont act on those feelings. if you really,really want to be with somebody else then i think you would be better off single after all you are only young anyway.