Do we have any rights regarding this child?

mam1

I have a question my brother is in a long term relationship with a woman who had a child prior to them getting together, child was 18months when they met and is now 8...we,my parents and I are extremely emotionally attached to this child as is my brother,child thinks he is the daddy,so now they are going through a really rocky patch and she is talking about a permanent split selling their home etc....do we have any rights to see our niece/grandchild??It would really hurt to lose this child from our lives..any advice appreciated..thanks

Zaph

OP, I've moved your post from the thread you had posted in. In future, please start a new thread rather than hijacking existing threads. Thanks.

Nevyn

If you bther did not adopt the child or get guardianship of the child then he has no legal right to the child. Grandparents and aunts and uncles have no legal rights or entitlements ether even if the child was adopted by your bother or was infact his own child.

If you and your parents still want to be part of the child's life then you have to look to fostering a independant good realtionship with the mother of the child which may be hard to do in the face of a messy break up.

My name is URL

The law is an ass - Men have very little say in what happens with a kid, even if he is the biological father

If the mother has any respect at all for the man that helped raise her child for 8 years then she'll allow him ongoing contact with the kid.

If not, then she's not worth losing any sleep over. All you can do is be there for your brother and hope that he gets over it.

Sad story but not alot that can be done.. As Thaedydal said, you can always ask the woman yourself but if she feels too constrained she might react badly to you and not allow anyone to see the child.

Max Power1

Thaedydal wrote: »

. Grandparents and aunts and uncles have no legal rights or entitlements ether even if the child was adopted by your bother or was infact his own child.

.

They do

www.citizensinformation.ie wrote:

Where grandparents are having difficulty in maintaining contact with their grandchild, under the Children Act 1997 they can apply for leave to apply for access to the child through the District Court

Not sure if this applies to adopted children though.

Nevyn

They can apply for such right they do not automatically have them and they may be refused and going to court can cause such hostilities with the custodial parent that honestly if you can keep civil relations with the mother that is usually the best course of action in the first place.

Toots

My brother in law is in nearly the same situation, only that they have separated and are in the process of getting a divorce. His solicitor has told him that he has basically no rights to the child, because at the time of them splitting up, it turned out that the adoption papers had never been sent to the solicitors (long story, very complicated). Anyway, as regards access to the child, he has absolutely no say in it, he sees him at the mother's whim, and there's nothing he can do about it. If your brother hasn't legally adopted the child, you and your parents are in the same boat. The best thing your brother can do is try to keep things as civil as possible with this woman. If they do split, mediation might be a good idea. Hopefully they'll come through the rough patch, but if they don't, hopefully she'll have enough cop on to realise that she's only hurting the child if she stops your brother seeing him.

seahorse

Your best bet, as has already been suggested, is to stay on good terms with the mother. Dont even dream of speaking to her about 'rights'. She'd most likely tell you where to go; this is her child we're talking about.

I understand that your family love the child at this stage but you are not the only people without entitlements here. Bear in mind that if the relationship breaks down and she has to walk away she'll be walking away with no right to financial maintanance from your brother, and in my experience of these situations men are usually comfortable enough with that end of the bargain, regardless how much they profess to love the child.

For the childs best interests the relationship with your family should probably be maintained (depending on other factors I know nothing about) Hopefully that situation can be engineered, but in the mantime my advice to your family would be not to get up this womans nose as you are not the ones getting the short end of the stick here.

LadyJ

According to the law, anyone can apply to the courts for access (under the gurdianship of infants act) but their relationship with the child and the mother will be assessed and it will be at the court's discretion. I think....

However, courts are messy business and if you can find a civil way around them it'd probably serve you all better.

mam1

Hi thanks to all for advice my brother has agreed a sum to be paid weekly and so we can see little one every other weekend not great but better than nothing we are still hoping for a reconciliation thanks again.