Should I have more time single?

LegacyUser

Well,

I've got a girlfriend, she's great and I love her. We're got loads in common, get on great, sex is excellent.
However, I still find myself always thinking about other women, imagining being with them etc.
I think it's the excitement of the unknown, first time sex etc that I'm attracted to

I guess the thing is I was a bit of a late bloomer - and my current girlfriend is the first girl I've been really sexually confident with. I feel like I missed out on a lot of fun when I was younger because of this. Ironicallly now I'm a bit older and more together a hell of a lot of girls who would have not looked twice at me in the past are suddenly very interested.....

Now before anyone jumps the gun, I will not be cheating on my girlfriend. That is most definetely not my style.

However, I have a couple of thoughts I would appreciate people's opinion on.

(1) Should I break up with my girlfriend and have fun living the single life for a while? I suppose I'm a bit concerned that if I don't do this it may become a problem further down the line in our relationship when we're both a bit older (she is a good bit younger than me) and possibly there is more to lose?

(2) If I do "sow my wild oats" a bit more, are these strong thoughts I have likely to fade? That is, if I were to get into another relationship in the future am I less likely to have strong feelings for other women? Or is just part of the nature of being a man and something I will just have to learn to deal with - no matter how much I "sow my wild oats" in the meantime?

Thanks for your opinions

Liber8or

I was in the same position OP.

My girlfriend and I are going out 18 months now and recently I had feelings about being with other girls. However, these girls I had feelings for were just an urge to kiss them, sleep with them, etc. I could not see myself being with that person as her boyfriend. I wanted to be with them for a night but no more than that, but with my current girlfriend I love spending time with her and love being with her. In my 18 months I have had girls come on to me, flirt with me, make themselves available for me, but I can not find another one who I would want to spend a long time with, unlike my girlfriend. Sure I would have liked to sleep with those girls, but I would find it hard to respect them and spend more than the passionate night of sex with them.

I think us men get to a stage where we just feel we have to spread the seed. That is how male animals do it and we still have some of that instinct in us.

You should ask yourself this, can you stand losing a girl you have spent so much time with, shared so many moments with and have fallen in love with for monotonous, emotionless, sex? I am sure there are those who say "playing the field" is great, but I am a firm believer that sex is overated and it only works when it is with someone you care about.

Have a think about it dude, and ask yourself if losing the fun, happiness and enjoyment of your current relationship is worth chancing your arm with girls in the pub, etc?

LegacyUser

Thanks Libor8

Yeah it sounds like a similar situation alright. I've had plenty of girls make themselves available to me - like yourself, most of them I would not see as long term potential, but wouldn't mind a passionate night with.

Like you said, no doubt a bit of leftover instinct from our caveman days.

I am wondering though, if I had spent more time sleeping around and having "monotonous, emotionless sex" - would I find easier to concentrate on the girl I love.

The thing is while I understand what you are saying in my head - it can be difficult to convince my heart (or more accurately, my loins!)

LegacyUser

I'm in a similar boat OP, except I'm single, 32 and haven't sown any oats at all. It's getting kind of depressing and while I often think I'd like a gf, I get jealous/envious at the thoughts of a girl off having casual sex with people and me not having the same. I kind of feel like I'm losing out. I also have this stupid thought in my head that whenever I do get a gf, if I don't have a similar number or greater number of previous partners as her, she will somehow have got one over on me.

What is wrong with me?

Coffee Addict

You may think the grass is greener, but its not.
It sounds like you are panicking about only being with this girl.
If you love her, then why would you risk loosing her so you can go off & do whatever it is you feel you missed out on?
Think what is more important, her & your relationship with her or randomers

Faith

There was a similar thread here recently, and I read some of the best advice on it. You can break up with your girlfriend just to sleep with other girls, but what will you really get out of it? The sex you're having now with a girl that you love, that you're sexually confident with, that you describe as "excellent" - that's probably about as good as it will get. Sex with strangers will rarely be even close to how good the sex is now. In fact, you're not even guaranteed to get any action at all. The "fun single life" is vastly over-rated generally.

I think this is a case of the grass definitely being greener. What exactly do you hope to get out of being single?