Still Arguing!!

LegacyUser

Me and my boyfriend are still arguing about an incident last christmas, story goes I live 1hour and a half away, he lives in dublin. We didn't see each other for 4 years on christmas day because we were having dinner with our familys, so christmas gone I decided I would drive up christmas day to spend the evening with him and have a few drinks.

When I arrived up to his house he wasn't there he was in his friends house even though he told me he would be home when I got there, I phoned his mobile over an hour or so and got no answer. Finally got in touch with him and he said he would be up when he finished his drink, another hour goes by, phoned him again, said he would be up, another couple of hours go by and so it continued.

Now his friend lived about a 10minute walk away and I had been drinking so couldn't drive and as I had driven up I had no jacket and was wearing a pair of heels. So eventually he arrived up to the house at 3.30am when everyone had gone to bed. I was furious and got up the next morning and went home. He is always doing this kind of thing. He still says that I overreacted and it wasn't as bad as I made out. I see it completely differently is this the way he will always be with me?

What do you think? Advice please!!

LegacyUser

He's in the wrong but you have to let it go or leave him. Whats the point in arguing constantly about something that happend 6 months ago?

Oryx

It doesnt sound to me like you are arguing over last Christmas, more that you are consistently unhappy with him behaving in this careless way. You say he does this kind of thing all the time. That may be why you havent let the Christmas thing go, because you're just angry with him, full stop.

Yes, he will probably always be this way with you, because thats how he is. He clearly didnt see what he did as a snub in the way you took it. Or at least he is playing it down in order to make it seem like its no big deal till you let it go.

He may show his affection in other ways, rather than punctuality and rating Christmas as special? It could be he didnt think it meant much, and thus thought you might feel the same. Or he could be an ass.

Either way, you learn to love his lacksadaisical attitude, or you leave him as he doesnt show you he loves you in the way you need. If you stay with him, make sure to tell him clearly how much big occasion dates mean to you, and that it will not be acceptable for him to mess up when youve made arrangements on special days in future. Then draw a line under this row and move on.

Stky10

Oryx wrote: »

It doesnt sound to me like you are arguing over last Christmas, more that you are consistently unhappy with him behaving in this careless way. You say he does this kind of thing all the time. That may be why you havent let the Christmas thing go, because you're just angry with him, full stop.

Either way, you learn to love his lacksadaisical attitude, or you leave him as he doesnt show you he loves you in the way you need.

+1

You need to decide whether this personality trait of his is bearable in the long term or not. If not... then walk....

WeeBushy

+1

Let it go, or let him go.

personally I'd let him go, sounds like an inconsiderate *ss.

wasper

Unregistered wrote: »

Me and my boyfriend are still arguing about an incident last christmas, story goes I live 1hour and a half away, he lives in dublin. We didn't see each other for 4 years on christmas day because we were having dinner with our familys, so christmas gone I decided I would drive up christmas day to spend the evening with him and have a few drinks.

When I arrived up to his house he wasn't there he was in his friends house even though he told me he would be home when I got there, I phoned his mobile over an hour or so and got no answer. Finally got in touch with him and he said he would be up when he finished his drink, another hour goes by, phoned him again, said he would be up, another couple of hours go by and so it continued.

Now his friend lived about a 10minute walk away and I had been drinking so couldn't drive and as I had driven up I had no jacket and was wearing a pair of heels. So eventually he arrived up to the house at 3.30am when everyone had gone to bed. I was furious and got up the next morning and went home. He is always doing this kind of thing. He still says that I overreacted and it wasn't as bad as I made out. I see it completely differently is this the way he will always be with me?

What do you think? Advice please!!

He behaved idiotically. He should have appreciated you making the effort to be with him. I would come back straight away.
He seems to be insensitive.