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Going out with someone socially different

  • 17-07-2009 9:15pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    So this is getting me a bit confused, I met this guy recently, really nice person and we met a few times and we had a great time.
    I m having a lot of thoughts regarding progressing this forward and main reason is, well I m a geek and he is not, the other area of concern is that I have a professional career, and many years of college, and he doesn't.
    I am aware I m coming across as a bit of a snob, but I can see the differences now and I wonder how important they are, I never dealt with this differences before,
    What got me thinking about this is that he called one of his friends "anto", and I don't know anyone (over 17) with a lot of friends whose names finish with o, and no he wasn't taking the piss.
    So my question is, what are your experiences on this one?


Comments

  • #2
    winking weber
    Closed Accounts Posts: 117 ✭✭winking weber


    Education level doesnt matter but being on the same wavelength definitely does matter. a lot.


  • #3
    Rb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,277 ✭✭✭✭Rb


    What's his outlook/hopes/aspirations and are they similarly aligned to yours?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I don't think education should matter at all. If you get on well what does it matter. Give him a go, if he is too different from you then move on but at least give him a try. Spo what if you're a 'Geek' and he's not, it might be good to spend time with someone different from yourself, give you a new perspective perhaps.

    I do find it odd that you mention that he has a friend with a name ending in O, my boyfriend has a friend called Anto and he's 26. I can't say this has ever bothered me in the slightest, why would it?


  • #5
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    I have a friend who prefers to be called Anto, meet him in college, he's not from Dublin,
    so sorry but that part does strike me as being snobby.

    IF you have simular out looks and expectations in life then the rest can be worked on.
    IF you find yourself cringing due to a lack of understanding of socail nuances or good manners then you need to have a think about how that will effect how you feel towards him.


  • #6
    Adamisconfused
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 268 ✭✭Adamisconfused


    Ask yourself if you are ashamed to introduce him to your family and friends?

    If you’re questioning whether he is good enough for you now then I don’t see a bright future for any potential relationship. By your own admission, he's a nice man. If that isn't enough for you then you shouldn't take it much further.

    It’s seems to be quite common for professionals to marry other professionals. I don’t know if it is due to a sense of superiority, the need to be with someone of similar talents or just for the pure snob value.


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  • #7
    random.stranger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 442 ✭✭random.stranger


    2 of my friends have been going out for years. She is studying for a phd & he has an "unskilled job" (& friends with names ending in "o"). I find it very difficult to think of a better matched couple. Go for it & good luck!


  • #8
    yamo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 94 ✭✭yamo


    I wonder if, despite the fact that he doesn't have a "professional career (aren't almost all careers professional once you get paid for them) and many years of college", he can punctuate a sentence properly? Or if he knows the difference between this and these....

    It sounds pretty snobby and really shallow to me. If you like the guy, it shouldn't matter if he has a lot of friends whose names end in 'o'. I studied for several years. I've lectured in colleges. I run my own company, and I have friends whose names/nicknames end in 'o'. It doesn't really matter if someone is called Jayo or Anto or Dayo or whatever-o. What matters to me is much more fundamental stuff about having a laugh, trusting someone and getting on with someone.

    To be honest, if alarm bells are ringing cause someone called one of their friends 'Anto', then I think you need to take a long, hard look at yourself. If you like this guy, and if you get on really well, then it shouldn't really matter what he calls his friends so long as it's not outrageously offensive/racist/sexist etc...


  • #9
    G-Money
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,199 ✭✭✭G-Money


    I think if you really wanted to be with this guy, you wouldn't be having all these "doubts" and posting on here asking for advice. You have to stop thinking of his career as some sort of extension of yours.

    If you don't want to go out with this guy, don't, but it sounds like you reasons for doing so are snobbish.


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