a bit of humour for sept 1st

dwighet

One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season, the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers.

As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk driver, so now all he had to do was wait for him to start his engine and pull out of the lot.

A few hours passed by and most of the other deer hunters had left by then, when the patron abruptly lifted his head, cranked the car up and drove out of the lot like a bat out of hell. The deputy followed him and stopped him promptly.

He administered the breath-o-lizer test and it read 0.00. Confused, the deputy asked the driver what the hell was going on.

The driver looked at him innocently and said, "Well, tonight I'm the designated decoy."

J.R.

Very good!


Many years ago my brother-in-law imported a 5.7 litre GMC pick up truck into Ireland on returning home from working on the sites in the USA.

He was a pioneer so as he didn't drink he was always called upon to drive friends home when they had too much to drink and decided to leave the car at the watering hole.

At home, during the Races, Garda from outside stations are drafted in to help local Gardai cope with the crowds.

One night during the Races his brother rang him from the local to collect him as he was 'full to the gills' and could drink no more.....could barely stand....and you couldn't understand a word he said....really under the weather.

On the way home they were stopped at a check-point by one of the 'outside' Gardai. The Garda approached the jeep and told him to wind down the window.

As soon as the window opened & he had a look in at the state of 'your man' the Garda was certain he had a drunk driver. As the Garda was explaining the procedure he suddenly realised the the steering wheel was at the other side of the car! It was a LHD from USA.

Garda saw the funny side of it & they all had a laugh......he got some slagging from the local Gardai when they heard about it.

dwighet

J.R. wrote: »

Very good!


Many years ago my brother-in-law imported a 5.7 litre GMC pick up truck into Ireland on returning home from working on the sites in the USA.

He was a pioneer so as he didn't drink he was always called upon to drive friends home when they had too much to drink and decided to leave the car at the watering hole.

At home, during the Races, Garda from outside stations are drafted in to help local Gardai cope with the crowds.

One night during the Races his brother rang him from the local to collect him as he was 'full to the gills' and could drink no more.....could barely stand....and you couldn't understand a word he said....really under the weather.

On the way home they were stopped at a check-point by one of the 'outside' Gardai. The Garda approached the jeep and told him to wind down the window.

As soon as the window opened & he had a look in at the state of 'your man' the Garda was certain he had a drunk driver. As the Garda was explaining the procedure he suddenly realised the the steering wheel was at the other side of the car! It was a LHD from USA.

Garda saw the funny side of it & they all had a laugh......he got some slagging from the local Gardai when they heard about it.

Now thats funny!!!!!!