Broken heart

LegacyUser

My bf of nearly 4 years decided a few weeks ago that we should go on a break and now that he wants to break up. I love him so much even though he's been acting like a bit of an ass over the last few weeks that we where on a break playing games saying he missed me one minute and then saying he never wants to see me again the next. I still love him so much and all I wanna do all day is cry. I just want this feelin to go away. I've never loved someone as much as him and feel totally lost all my friends are either busy with their own bfs or else dont live where i live anymore. I just dont know what to do my day seems so empty now I'm not working at the moment and its really hard to find work. I don't really know what I'm asking for here just need to get it out of my head any advise would be grately appreicated. thanks

zeslim

My heart goes out to you - breakups are horrible, painful things that take a lot out of us. Unfortunately the best remedy is time. As weeks go by, it will gradually get easier for you. It can be a long enough process, but in the meantime, the best thing you can do is try to keep busy. Busy busy busy. Get your mind off the whole thing by involving yourself in other activities, even it's just going for a walk around your neighborhood with a bit of music. Get in touch with friends and try to go out during the day/evening. It helps to have a friendly face, a sounding board and a distraction. Avoid contact with your ex, if at all possible, for the next while. And most of all, try to remain positive. It's going to suck for a while, but it will get better.

AntiRip

I won't lie, it is very very hard. I was engaged for a number of years, and one day they broke it off out of the blue. Found out later there was a third person in our relationship for a couple of months. Tore me apart and it took me 2 years to get over it. And trust me, you will get over it! You will hear from a lot of people to keep busy and do things to get your mind off of it but it is very easy to say that. It is true, it is good to keep busy but at the end of the day, you are by yourself in bed at night with your thoughts. I found this the absolute worst. After lying beside someone for so many years, it is so so hard to be by yourself again. Time was my best friend. It really lightens the heart day by day. Had a knot in my stomach for about six months but this subsided. It eventually makes you better, stronger and more importantly less dependent on someone else for your own feelings though. The best thing to do now is to buy new clothes, change your hairstyle, go blonde or brunette or whatever. Be a new person, get that confidence back and eat properly. I lost over 2 stone in that month. I could nearly write a book on it
But I will guarantee you, it will get easier and eventually you'll wonder why you were so heart broken. Don't play his games though. Don't give him that power. He's only testing to see if you still care for him. He'll probably test you to see if you're still pining for him. Give him the impression you don't give a damn and see it as an opportunity. That won't give him any satisfaction at least.

Take care of yourself

Exon

happened to me a year or so ago too, this girl that liked me for years and I was repulsed by her I ended up kinda liking her as she grew a bit older 16-22 age period.

yeah we were with each other 1.5 years (We had sex years before that too a couple of times) I explained to her if we go out with each other it better be easy going and no giving me a hard time and explain all my problems.

She knew all my problems but ended up dumping me over one of them 1.5years later, was heart broken and lonely for about 8 months but now I couldn't care less.

oh well, we can go out with each other and forget them both

It gets easier, the only girl i'd be with now if she was real easy-going cause of my problem (I'm on methadone) It was because I was in car crash and got addicted to painkillers so they put me on methadone.

I was first on it when I was with her and it made me real stoned and I acted stupid sometimes and her family tought I was on drugs lol Apart from that i'm perfect though.

Just ask him out straight one last time (You really don't want to be with me, yes or no?) and if he says no don't speak to him again and ignore him.

I know it's hard but believe me in a few years some other boy will be cuddling with you and you'll forget this muppets name by then.

EDIT: PS - Is it a long time to be single for 2 years at my age? (22)

Taltos

sunflower27 wrote: »

Hi OP

My heart goes out to you. i remember when I split with my first boyfriend, we lived together and had gone out nearly 3 years and I remember thinking my life was over... that I'd never be happy again and I wouldnt wish that feeling on anyone.

I know you are really hurting, but this will pass (I know you think it won't, but it does!).

Dont contact him and keep yourself as busy as you can. Go buy the book 'It's called a break-up because it's broken' and trya nd keep busy.

Every day you will heal a bit more until one day the tears stop and you will stop and think 'hey, it's lunchtime and I didnt think about XXXXX all morning!'

Be kind to yourself and know that you will fall in love again.

Take care

sf xx

+1
Spot on - really don't contact him. Don't reply - give yourself some space to think.
He has really treated you poorly here.
He might come to have regrets / 2nd thoughts shortly - but stay strong.
If he was treating you badly for a few weeks it could be he was already preparing for quite some time and was going the cowards route of getting you to dump him.

Spend time with your good friends and on your own. You need to work thru these feelings and to recover. Everything will probably remind you for the next while - but as sf said one day soon it will start clicking and you will no longer feel as bad as you do.

Know you will get over this plonker.
T