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Advice please

  • 15-07-2009 11:06am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hey folks, going un'regd for this...

    Im 24 male and a virgin. Going out with a girl for 2 yrs, said I wanted to wait and she said ok at the time... Lately she has been dropping hints, and as I have fallen more and more in love with her, I really am torn between what to do...

    My body says yes, but my head says no... I think it is my upbringing etc that is stopping me...

    Sorry its a silly post, but I would really appreciate anything anyone could offer by way of advice....


Comments

  • #2
    reprazant
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,417 ✭✭✭reprazant


    Out of curiosity, what is stopping you?

    Is it that you want to wait until you are married or for another reason?

    My adivce is to do what feels right.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hey, OP here... I wanted to wait til married as that was my plan and what I was told was the right thing to do....


  • #4
    Oh The Humanity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,324 ✭✭✭Oh The Humanity


    Waht to do??? wrote: »
    My body says yes, but my head says no... I think it is my upbringing etc that is stopping me...

    Im just curious, it sounds as though you are not quite sure of your reasoning.....you think its your upbringing...?

    If you could explain a bit better we can better advise I think!


  • #5
    Oh The Humanity
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,324 ✭✭✭Oh The Humanity


    Waht to do? wrote: »
    Hey, OP here... I wanted to wait til married as that was my plan and what I was told was the right thing to do....

    You were told?

    But never mind what you were told, is that what you want?


  • #6
    kittenkiller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,433 ✭✭✭kittenkiller


    You've been with her for two years... Do you know yet whether or not she's the one?

    In the past when saving yourself for marriage was the done thing, courtships usually only lasted a few months before an engagement, you'd rarely get lengthy relationships before commitment because people weren't willing to wait.

    My opinion is that you're depiving yourself of a huge aspect of yourself and a lot of fun and bonding.
    I doubt that in a similar situation to your gf, I'd be willing to wait for years.

    Best of luck OP.
    I hope it works out for you :)


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  • #7
    zeslim
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22 ✭zeslim


    You said that you've previously told your gf that you want to wait, and that she said OK. Were you clear with her that you wanted to wait until marriage? If you've been together for 2 years now, I think you should consider having an open conversation about this with her, rather than relying on hints. Both of you have to be ready and willing and comfortable with your decisions. If you want to take that step, I don't think you should let feelings of guilt hold you back. However, if your commitment to abstinence before marriage is something that you feel is important to you, then you have to do right by yourself.


  • #8
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    Waht to do??? wrote: »
    I think it is my upbringing etc that is stopping me...

    Waht to do? wrote: »
    I wanted to wait til married as that was my plan and what I was told was the right thing to do....


    So basically, it was drilled into your head that the 'right thing to do' with your life is not at all subjective and is a decision to be made by your family/peers/whoever but not at all by you.... And you accept this?


    TBH, OP, your post (layed out) reads as follows:

    "I was brought up to believe that pre-marital sex is wrong and, as such, my plan has always been to wait. My GF was alright with this but after 2 years, it seems she wants more. I also want more. But what should I do?"

    Which is why I'm being so blunt. I'd pretend to be more respectful of your standpoint if you post read more like this:

    "I want to wait until I'm married to have sex and my GF was alright with that but now it seems she's not. How do I tell her that I still want to wait?"


    But really, it just sounds like you're a normal guy who's finally started to realise that pre-marital sex is:

    a) NOT WRONG AT ALL.
    and
    b) YOUR OWN CHOICE.


    Go forth and ride. Have a great time.


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