How do you deal with a teenager's attitude?

Astrogeek

:mad: I'm just so annoyed with my brother, he's 16.

My brothers can't cook, so my mum expects me to make them dinner when I'm around. Today I asked one what he wanted and he said steak. So I was making steak, potatoes and veg.
I had the kettle boiling, the pots sitting right next to the stove, and all I asked him to do was pour the water into the pots as I was preparing veg. The attitude was unbelievable. He banged the pots down onto the stove and split half the kettle onto the floor on purpose.
Who does that?!

I don't mind my parents expecting me to cook and help around the house but I'm so annoyed at his attitude. My parents don't ever see it. For one no one would EVER do that to my dad, unless you had a death wish.

I don't know what to do. If I refuse to cook it really wouldn't surprise me if my mum used her lunch break to come home and cook for them. Which is insane, exspecially at the moment.
This is a rant more than anything else... I was expected to be able to make myself dinner when I started secondary school, there was 2 hours between me getting home and dad getting home. They are 16! It's not fair. :mad:

hobochris

I'm guessing your the older sister? Id have a word with your parents,Inform them the 60's are over and that cooking is not a female only activity, 16 and not being able to cook your brother should be ashamed of himself.

your mother is setting him up as a laughing stock in a few years to come.. many young ladies wouldn't been seen dead with a mammies boy who cant fend for himself.

Taltos

hobochris wrote: »

I'm guessing your the older sister? Id have a word with your parents,Inform them the 60's are over and that cooking is not a female only activity, 16 and not being able to cook your brother should be ashamed of himself.

your mother is setting him up as a laughing stock in a few years to come.. many young ladies wouldn't been seen dead with a mammies boy who cant fend for himself.

+1
I grew up in a mixed house - bros and sisters.
All took their turn - some preferred to cook more - some of us preferred others to cook more. But gawd it is 2009, and that was back in the dark and dismal 80s with microwaves just starting to appear.....
Take you folks to one side and set them straight - maybe suggest drawing up a rota...

Hobochris is spot on here - what happens when your brother moves out or invites a girl around for dinner? Is he going to ask you to cook or rely on a take-away?

Penn

I'm 23 and only recently started to learn to cook. I have 3 older sisters and our mother was always home anyway.

Point is, at 16, if one of my sisters asked me to do a simple thing like that, I never would have reacted that way. Its not the cooking that is your brothers problem, its his attitude. He should be grateful that you are making HIM dinner, and that you even asked what he wanted.

Discuss this with your folks. if your father is as strict as you imply he is, get him to give them a talking to, to tell them that they have to learn to cook. I agree that if you just flat out refused, your mother would probably end up doing it. Unless they get a talking to, they'd expect her to and complain if she didn't

miec

I'm guessing your the older sister? Id have a word with your parents,Inform them the 60's are over and that cooking is not a female only activity, 16 and not being able to cook your brother should be ashamed of himself.

your mother is setting him up as a laughing stock in a few years to come.. many young ladies wouldn't been seen dead with a mammies boy who cant fend for himself.

+ 1

I would also add that your mother is not doing your brothers any favours, in actual fact she is babying them, plus she is being unfair to you in that she is passing on archaic values that have no place in todays world. You need to let your mum know that she has to teach them how to cook, to be more mannerly when someone, such as you does do something for them and to be self sufficient. Not only that but from time to time they should cook you dinner as well.

SuperGrover

And if all that good advice gets you nowhere, there's always laxatives to reward bad behaviour.

Astrogeek

miec wrote: »

+ 1

Not only that but from time to time they should cook you dinner as well.

lol! There would sooner be a blue moon.

But I will try talking to my dad about it. I have tried talking to my mum about teaching them to cook but they literally won't stay in the kitchen long enough to see how to do it. It's not like it's a hard thing to do.

It's just an eldest child thing. Both my brother and sister react exactly like that when I ask them to help me, and they're in their 20's now! They should expect me to do everything when I'm home and if I ask them to do anything, it's 'why should I?' It really annoys me because my parents totally support this. My mum thinks it's funny that my sister is useless in the kitchen and throws a strop when I ask for help. It's ridiculous. I just accept it now, I'm so sick of arguing about it and getting nowhere. Really wish I was the youngest but oh well.

Hobochris is spot on here - what happens when your brother moves out or invites a girl around for dinner? Is he going to ask you to cook or rely on a take-away?

That is still very, very common. It might be 2009, but my ex couldn't boil an egg. He would expect me to cook when he invited me for dinner. Most of my male friends just exist on takeaways or beans on toast. I know very few guys who can really cook (luckily my bf is one of them and doesn't let me near the kitchen, woo hoo!)

Oh The Humanity

16 ?

Why, pray tell can the lazy little b0ll0xes not make their own dinner?

I could cook a dinner by 8 or 9 at least.

I asked one what he wanted

Mistake no 2, if you are good enough to cook for them they take what they get or they get nothing at all.

skooterblue

hobochris wrote: »

Id have a word with your parents,Inform them the 60's are over and that cooking is not a female only activity, 16 and not being able to cook your brother should be ashamed of himself.

your mother is setting him up as a laughing stock in a few years to come.. many young ladies wouldn't been seen dead with a mammies boy who cant fend for himself.

+1

Oh Dear. yes this still is the consensus around. In my opinion it is more prevalent in working class homes than it is in middle class homes. I am basing this on my experience on CIT in Cork. Who leaves their tray behind in the canteen? Its USUALLY the Apprentices, now I am sure there are some mothers out there who do a good job of raising their kids to take their plates, scrape them and separate the cutlery in the sink. They do what you taught them!!

Apprentices are the biggest culprits because they are only out of school earning massive money in relation to their age and have girls hanging off them. Then there is the living at home and when they work away they get an allowance. An ordinary student living away from home is possibly on 120-150 a week.

The only solution to this problems is give them simple materials, Chips, beans and steak. NO ONE could screw that up, hunger is a great sauce. Watch it happen.

Hold on dont limit it to the kitchen, clothes washing and domestic cleaning should also be on the menu. Feminism judging by CIT has truly escaped Cork.

Astrogeek

My dad said to let it go this time, as my brother was probably tired, and he is very grumpy when he gets woken up.
(He sleeps in until about two)

If I get attitude tomorrow I'll just leave his uncooked. But bet you anything one of the neighbours will feed him if I don't.

I don't agree to the comment above, think it differs person by person not by class. We're not working class anyway. (hoping I don't sound snoby or anything, we're just not)

Taltos

Astrogeek wrote: »

My dad said to let it go this time, as my brother was probably tired, and he is very grumpy when he gets woken up.
(He sleeps in until about two)

If I get attitude tomorrow I'll just leave his uncooked. But bet you anything one of the neighbours will feed him if I don't.

I don't agree to the comment above, think it differs person by person not by class. We're not working class anyway. (hoping I don't sound snoby or anything, we're just not)

Good on you for bringing it to your dad's attention.
I would still mention it to your brother the next time he is around and in a cheerful mood - just tell him you were v surprised and expected more.

As to teaching them to cook??? Seriously....
They do not want to learn - however necessitiy is a great provider - on their nights - either they soon will or they will order in - but you are not a skivvy - so stop acting like one.

Agree this might be the trend with the eldest - but why should he get off lightly cause he is a) younger & b) a guy...
FYI - my brothers & I soon learnt to cook a mean bolognaise / shepards pie / steak etc - it is not rocket science....

Just do not get tricked into helping.

Jafin

I've got one thing to say:
Hormones.

Im a 20 year old lad, and no way was I like that when I was 16, I've been tame all my life, but the answer is in the title of the thread: Teenager.
Im sure when you were in school as a teen you had a few brats in there.
Every generation can get worse potentially, too much molly-coddling. He needs to learn to cook for himself, nothing fancy, just a few spuds and a chicken breast or something in the oven. Im not ashamed to say that there's very few dishes I can cook for myself, comes from being an only child I suppose :P But I have gotten better over the years, if it can go in the oven and has instructions on the box, then I can cook it. I suggest trying to get him to cooke every once in a while.

But I digress, a lot of what I said wasn't all that relevant to your situation, sorry!
You just have to accept that teenagers have their bad days, or is he like this all the time?

Fluorescence

[quote=[Deleted User];61139148]It's just an eldest child thing. [/quote]

Not necessarily. I'm the middle child but the only girl. Whenever my Mum is away or unable to make dinner, I'm expected to do it (as the girl). I'm also expected to do all the laundry and dishes etc which is very unfair. My point is - it's not always the eldest :rolleyes:

Reflector

I couldn't cook when I was 16 and might have done the same thing when asked to help out. It's the male way of making sure that you wont be asked again.

Anyway by 18 I felt absolutely domestically retarted and then insisted on my mum showing me how to cook some things. I also started to do my own washing . It was important as you need to be able to do these things when you move out and if you don't learn you'll soon get a slap in the face when you are sharing accommodation. I'm not a great cook but can throw together a lasagne if I need to.
My advice is put your foot down, my sisters certainly did and were so annoyed as my Mum was a bit sexist but not intentionally I just think she came from that era. It'll be interesting to see how my sisters bring up their own sons??? I bet they'll mother them too much.

seamus

When I was sixteen, I would have pulled something from the freezer and bunged it in the oven for 25 minutes. That's how hard it is to cook sustenance. He doesn't have to be a masterchef - if he can read and turn knobs on a cooker, that's all the skills anyone needs to eat.

I agree with other people in that you shouldn't have asked him what he wanted. You should have cooked whatever you wanted and given it to him. If he didn't like it, tough.

If you don't want to cook (i.e. you're busy or whatever), then don't. If your mum decides to put herself under pressure to cook for two boys who would undoubtedly figure it out themselves, then let her do that. A week of rushing home on her lunch to stick on dinner and getting no thanks for it and she'll be very quickly throwing at teatowel at your brothers and kicking their arses.

It's especially easy to get away with not cooking if you don't need to eat yourself - i.e. if you can have dinner at lunchtime (if you're in work or college) and then just have a sandwich at dinnertime, then you can bypass any arguments - why should you cook if you're not eating dinner?

fluorescence

fluorescence wrote: »

Not necessarily. I'm the middle child but the only girl. Whenever my Mum is away or unable to make dinner, I'm expected to do it (as the girl). I'm also expected to do all the laundry and dishes etc which is very unfair. My point is - it's not always the eldest :rolleyes:

I meant to type 'eldest girl'. I agree.