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Lying

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  • 14-07-2009 1:07am
    #1
    ScissorPaperRock
    Registered Users Posts: 2,708 ✭✭✭


    Is it always wrong? I thought it would be interesting to see if many people believe that some things are best kept secret. Do/have many of you kept potentially relationship-ruining secrets from your partners?


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    #2
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    But if it's a secret then...


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    #3
    benj
    Registered Users Posts: 292 ✭✭benj


    i'm sure most people keep stuff from their other half,
    because if we didn't most of us would probably be
    shleeping with da fishes by now ;)


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    #4
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    No - I actually tell him everything. Good, bad or indifferent. I hate secrets. Personally speaking, my conscience would eat at me.:rolleyes:


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    #5
    TheZohanS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,582 ✭✭✭✭TheZohanS


    ScissorPaperRoc wrote: »
    Do/have many of you kept potentially relationship-ruining secrets from your partners?

    Better to tell the truth than have a relationship based on lies.


    The foundation of all good relationships is trust and respect and if you have any "potentially relationship-ruining secrets" that happened during your relationship you have neither.


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    #6
    Riamfada
    Registered Users Posts: 10,246 ✭✭✭✭Riamfada


    There is a difference between telling a lie and keeping a secret no?


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    #7
    Carsinian Thau
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,054 ✭✭✭Carsinian Thau


    Grimes wrote: »
    There is a difference between telling a lie and keeping a secret no?

    Only up to the point of being able to draw a distinction between a lie of omission and a lie of commission.


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    #8
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Trí wrote: »
    No - I actually tell him everything. Good, bad or indifferent. I hate secrets. Personally speaking, my conscience would eat at me.:rolleyes:

    Secrets in a relationship are generally soul destroying missiles that tear you apart when they hit their destination.


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    #9
    ScissorPaperRock
    Registered Users Posts: 2,708 ✭✭✭ScissorPaperRock


    Grimes wrote: »
    There is a difference between telling a lie and keeping a secret no?

    They can be the same. For instance, if one was to cheat on someone but kept it a secret they are essentially lying by giving the impression that they haven't.


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    #10
    Banter Joe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 384 ✭✭Banter Joe


    That time your Mom said your girlfriend looked like she was after putting on weight...

    Probably going to keep that one secret from the OH.


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    #11
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    ScissorPaperRoc wrote: »
    They can be the same. For instance, if one was to cheat on someone but kept it a secret they are essentially lying by giving the impression that they haven't.

    It's called lying by omission.


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    #12
    Starman07
    Registered Users Posts: 72 ✭✭Starman07


    TheZohan wrote: »
    Better to tell the truth than have a relationship based on lies.

    There are certain circumstances where no good can come from admitting something, and is better left unsaid.It doesn't mean the relationship is based on lies.

    And if it's something really bad, then you'll be punished by karma with a stubbed toe,a flat tyre or AIDS.Something along those lines


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    #13
    jumpguy
    Registered Users Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    Depends on the context and situation. If you're best friend told you something to get it off his/her chest and wanted you to keep it secret from everyone then you must. It's your best friends own business, he/she can make it public whenever he/she wants. As long as the secret is unconnected with one's partners though.


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    #14
    Wurly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly


    Sharpshooter wrote: »
    Secrets in a relationship are generally soul destroying missiles that tear you apart when they hit their destination.
    What a great way of putting it..:)

    I completely agree. You chose the person as your partner so there should be no secrets in my opinion. And if there are, then chances are, you're doing something you shouldn't be doing. And if the person feels like they cant tell you things, then you're not making it safe for them to feel they can divulge that info.

    It's healthy to want to keep innermost personal stuff to yourself. But that's about it really as far as i'm concerned.


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    #15
    Iang87
    Registered Users Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭Iang87


    nope lying is what makes us different from the animals, i feel we should embrace this difference


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    #16
    Sharpshooter
    Registered Users Posts: 31,859 ✭✭✭✭Sharpshooter


    Starman07 wrote: »
    There are certain circumstances where no good can come from admitting something, and is better left unsaid.It doesn't mean the relationship is based on lies.

    It does if the thing you are not admitting to could end the relationship.
    Then the relationship is based on what you are withholding, ie secrets.

    Secrets and Lies are never far apart.


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    #17
    Iang87
    Registered Users Posts: 3,181 ✭✭✭Iang87


    are you a woman sharpshooter by any chance


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    #18
    jumpguy
    Registered Users Posts: 7,962 ✭✭✭jumpguy


    Iang87 wrote: »
    are you a woman sharpshooter by any chance
    You missed the pink writing armada. :P


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    #19
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Surely most women have told a lie to their OH at some point? (A two word lie rhyming with "I maim?" for example)


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