Lying

ScissorPaperRock

Is it always wrong? I thought it would be interesting to see if many people believe that some things are best kept secret. Do/have many of you kept potentially relationship-ruining secrets from your partners?

Sharpshooter

But if it's a secret then...

benj

i'm sure most people keep stuff from their other half,
because if we didn't most of us would probably be
shleeping with da fishes by now

Wurly

No - I actually tell him everything. Good, bad or indifferent. I hate secrets. Personally speaking, my conscience would eat at me.:rolleyes:

TheZohanS

ScissorPaperRoc wrote: »

Do/have many of you kept potentially relationship-ruining secrets from your partners?

Better to tell the truth than have a relationship based on lies.


The foundation of all good relationships is trust and respect and if you have any "potentially relationship-ruining secrets" that happened during your relationship you have neither.

Riamfada

There is a difference between telling a lie and keeping a secret no?

Carsinian Thau

Grimes wrote: »

There is a difference between telling a lie and keeping a secret no?

Only up to the point of being able to draw a distinction between a lie of omission and a lie of commission.

Sharpshooter

Trí wrote: »

No - I actually tell him everything. Good, bad or indifferent. I hate secrets. Personally speaking, my conscience would eat at me.:rolleyes:

Secrets in a relationship are generally soul destroying missiles that tear you apart when they hit their destination.

ScissorPaperRock

Grimes wrote: »

There is a difference between telling a lie and keeping a secret no?

They can be the same. For instance, if one was to cheat on someone but kept it a secret they are essentially lying by giving the impression that they haven't.

Banter Joe

That time your Mom said your girlfriend looked like she was after putting on weight...

Probably going to keep that one secret from the OH.

Sharpshooter

ScissorPaperRoc wrote: »

They can be the same. For instance, if one was to cheat on someone but kept it a secret they are essentially lying by giving the impression that they haven't.

It's called lying by omission.

Starman07

TheZohan wrote: »

Better to tell the truth than have a relationship based on lies.

There are certain circumstances where no good can come from admitting something, and is better left unsaid.It doesn't mean the relationship is based on lies.

And if it's something really bad, then you'll be punished by karma with a stubbed toe,a flat tyre or AIDS.Something along those lines

jumpguy

Depends on the context and situation. If you're best friend told you something to get it off his/her chest and wanted you to keep it secret from everyone then you must. It's your best friends own business, he/she can make it public whenever he/she wants. As long as the secret is unconnected with one's partners though.

Wurly

Sharpshooter wrote: »

Secrets in a relationship are generally soul destroying missiles that tear you apart when they hit their destination.

What a great way of putting it..:)

I completely agree. You chose the person as your partner so there should be no secrets in my opinion. And if there are, then chances are, you're doing something you shouldn't be doing. And if the person feels like they cant tell you things, then you're not making it safe for them to feel they can divulge that info.

It's healthy to want to keep innermost personal stuff to yourself. But that's about it really as far as i'm concerned.

Iang87

nope lying is what makes us different from the animals, i feel we should embrace this difference

Sharpshooter

Starman07 wrote: »

There are certain circumstances where no good can come from admitting something, and is better left unsaid.It doesn't mean the relationship is based on lies.

It does if the thing you are not admitting to could end the relationship.
Then the relationship is based on what you are withholding, ie secrets.

Secrets and Lies are never far apart.

Iang87

are you a woman sharpshooter by any chance

jumpguy

Iang87 wrote: »

are you a woman sharpshooter by any chance

You missed the pink writing armada. :P

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Surely most women have told a lie to their OH at some point? (A two word lie rhyming with "I maim?" for example)